My girlfriend got upset with me yesterday over some stupid little thing that was just a misunderstanding. and I had to spend over an hour of my time trying to smooth things over and restore the peace. The thing is, I know why she blew this whole thing out of proportion and I had to spend over an hour with her mad at me. It's because she was ragging. I know that's what it is. I have started to notice this pattern with her. Every time she's mad at me like this about something, she's almost always ragging. We get along great most of the time, but when she's on the rag she is very quick to anger.

And the thing is, if you bring up the fact that your woman is ragging and that's the real reason that she wants to argue, she will only get more upset with you. So you can't say anything about that, even though you know that's what it's really about. So, I'm just wondering, what is the best way of handling these kinds of situations because I personally don't like fighting and spending so much time arguing.

Lend no resistance she will have nothing to argue with. Agree with her (in principle). "It makes sense that you feel that way"

You don't handle her. You leave.
@ n2thevoid: stop giving white knight advices, ffs.

Getting mad is a tool used to gain control in a relationship. It's also a sign that the person is less committed in a relationship. Showing you care and spending an hour to smooth things over is just you removing your testicles for her.

To regain control you should show indifference towards her anger. Do not reward bad behaviour. In this case, you spending an hour being affectionate and caring is rewarding bad behaviour.

All of this is assuming she picks fight over arbitrary things. The rag is never a good reason to start a fight... Just a poor excuse.

I agree with all that is said. The facts are that women often are more bitchy when their cycle hits. And it's for good reason. Who feels good when they are bloated, crampy, and dumping a couple quarts of blood out their vagina.

The issue is that she is not mature enough to accept this. When she grows up, she'll realize she is being bitchy, it is because she doesn't feel well, and there are things that can help her, and there are things you can do to help keep things from being any worse than they have to be.

If she's not going to accept the truth, then do as the others say here and don't reward her poor behavior.

Fair enough. I hadn't really thought about it as rewarding bad behavior, but that does make sense. It did occur to me that I might be investing too much into trying to restore the peace though. In this particular situation I did originally say something that I shouldn't have said which upset her. But, I did apologies and explained my confusion and reason for saying it. I tried to clear it up. So I guess at that point when she wanted to keep going with it and blow the whole thing out of proportion is when I should have pulled back, or withdrew from the conversation. I suppose I should just walk away at that point and let her work through her anger on her own.

It sounds like she has PMDD, which is an EXTREMELY severe form of PMS, which is sometimes treated with antidepressants

my live-in girlfriend of over 2 years now has PMDD and it is the most challenging part of our relationship - she put a hole in the wall the last time she raged out. Fortunately I am a pretty big guy and I am able to restrain her without getting too many scratches and bruises, she is really fucking strong for her size since we lift weights together - a consistent exercise regimen seems to help with managing the hormone cycles and reducing severity of symptoms. She is just out of control and angry and depressed when she is experiencing acute symptoms, but then once she gets to grips with reality she's right back to being a sweetheart and she acknowledges and accepts that the only reason she was acting that way was because of hormones. I find that leaving her alone when she's actively raging is actually a bad idea, as it allows her to stew with her own thoughts, which essentially, are completely poisonous at that time. It's like some sort of murder-suicide urge and you don't want that plotting your destruction in the other room Also, women have an increased need for emotional and physical closeness when they are experiencing these symptoms, so even though they are raging, they really just want a hug and someone to pet them nicely till they can calm down. When she put that hole in the wall not too long ago it was because I was unable to be there for her and give her the help she needed.

Fortunately, my girlfriend had received a diagnosis of PMDD from a psychiatric professional already as a teenager, so when I told her about what I thought was going on she was fairly accepting of my confirming diagnosis after we went over the symptoms and literature, and things have considerably improved since then. Sometimes the PMDD symptoms make her really horny though so it's not all bad.

around 1 in 15 women have PMDD http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstru ... c_disorder
the severity of the symptoms is really what characterizes PMDD. I know when it is time to be very vigilant about her moods due to how swollen her breasts are and her bodyweight, which she usually checks once or twice a day (excessive water retention is a big sign for that the hormones are cycling around) - many of the other symptoms will be present although they sometimes vary.

Women are subject to a whole host of hormonally induced states of being that men can't directly understand. PMDD doesn't just affect their relationships with men, it affects every aspect of their lives. It poisons every thought they are having, and twists their perceptions. Sometimes bitches don't choose to be crazy, so to speak. That being said, a woman with PMDD can be very challenging and she better be special enough to be worth the extra work. She also has to be willing to accept reality and work on improving her cognition and behavior surrounding her acute symptoms.

_________________
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I'm just a dude, like you