I ran into my ex at the grocery store at the end of February. Hadn't seen her since the breakup 5 months earlier. We had dated for about 10 months before that, which I ended early October.

I just happened to be with a platonic female friend when I ran into her and introduced them to each other.

Sure enough my ex emails me a few days later and we email back and forth a few times...fast forward and we are now seeing each other again and have been for about a month and a half or so.

However, the same issues that caused me to break up with her are still there:

1. She works two jobs and only has time to hang out once a week on average. The sex is great and I want to see her ideally 2-3 times a week.

2. She is perfectly content with having a friends with benefits type situation (though she would never call it this). She never invites me out with her friends or has any overlap between her social circles or family and me. Even after 10 months of dating I never met either of her sisters once (and she is close with them) and only hung out with her friends as a group maybe 3-4 times.

3. She is very guarded and unemotional. She is divorced plus she called off an engagement to another guy a while back.

Yesterday we texted briefly in the morning and I invited her out to the bar that I play pool at (I play in a league and we had playoffs last night). She knows this is important to me but has never once came with to support, have fun, etc. So yesterday did she not only not go, but didn't even bother to respond at all to my invite. She texted me late last night and just asked "how'd it go?". I didn't expect her to agree to go but to not respond at all I found to be pretty rude.

I am trying to come up with ways to get her invest in me but not having much success. Open to ideas.

I would like to have our relationship grow and become something but having doubts on if it is worth the time and effort. She is who she is and I don't see that changing.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention. A couple weeks ago we went out and stayed the night at a casino that we have stayed at before. The next morning during pillow talk I told her that I was falling for her again and wanted her to be my girl. I'm assuming this was a mistake but it was from the heart. After I told her this she didn't say anything. I had to break the silence by saying "you're scaring me by not saying anything". Did I royally fuck this up? Normally I wouldn't show my hand this early but her and I have a lot of history and I don't really feel like wasting more time if it isn't going to go somewhere.

Any advice much appreciated...let me know if you guys need any other info.

Thanks!

I think you should be direct with her and address you concerns. I'm assuming your seeing each other exclusively and I can tell that your definitely invested emotionally, so next time your 1 on 1 tell her about your problems and if she really likes you and wants to make it work she'll attempt to change this behavior, if she doesn't move on.

Yah we are exclusive and yes Im invested emotionally. Wish that I wasnt or at least not as much so.

Thanks for the reply!

Ok mate here is the thing. You don't wanna hear this but my advice:
Run. NOW. She uses you completely. After 10 months and you haven't met her friends ? WTF. You are trying to make this work, but you are the only one trying. She doesn't give a shit. According to what you wrote.
Next her get a new girl. I would say keep her as a fuck buddy, but I don't suggest it in your case because you'll get attached and she won't.
Telling her about your feelings in this situation probably wasn't that bad. It was a test to see where she is at. Which she failed horribly. This is not how a girl that wants something serious would respond. Trust me I had a very similar girl before.
Find a girl who is proper girlfriend material. Not like this.

This is rock solid advice, better take it!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Thanks for the advice man, much appreciated. I have met her friends but only a few times (can count the times on one hand). But yah never met a family member.

I considered your advice and decided to keep her as a fuck buddy. I'm going to date other girls and when I find one I want to be with I'll then cut her loose.

I chatted with her about this yesterday and she said she wants to keep it casual. I asked her why and she said she didnt know exactly why but its all she can give/handle at the moment. I asked her if it would change at any point and she said she wasnt sure. She said "I like where we are at, don't you?" And i replied with friends with benefits? And she said dating. She doesnt want to call it what it is bit it is a fuck buddy situation.

Anyway I feel good at the end of all this. I told her how I felt and she just wants sex so emotionally I'm going to move on but keep giving her a hard dicking down until I find serious girlfriend material.

You're an open guy and that honesty is just not reciprocated by her. I would tell you to invest less in her and even out the balance to let her chase you, but even if you do that, eventually you'll get comfortable and lose hand again. The cycle repeats.

I wouldn't recommend keeping her as a fuck buddy, but if you do, leave her place the second after you bust your nut. No more declarations of love or romantic gestures because she hasn't earned them.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Well at least she is honest about her feelings so props for that. This is a good opportunity to get a fuck buddy. But OP I don't recommend this for you because you'll get hurt I'm very sure.

I third the other's advice that you run. Get yourself someone else to fuck ASAP. You're too emotionally attached yet for the relationship to be what it is without you getting hurt. Imagine the day you call her to fuck and find out someone else is giving it to her.

Get your mind, dick, and whatever else focused on someone else.