Long story short, I have been best friends with a girl for almost 3 years now. We both have long term significant others. We took a trip and things got physical. We agreed that we needed to keep the physical side in check but have both expressed that if we weren't involved with others we'd be with each other. I am very open with how I feel, she says she can't be because if she does tell me she will feel guilty. Yesterday we went out for dinner and her SO kept texting her (they are going through a rough time). After we we were driving back I told her that wasn't cool and that I planned a night to get her mind off of everything (we communicate pretty easily). I tried to get her to tell me what she thought was going on with us but she refused. We texted a while that night. I basically told her that I enjoyed our relationship but that she needed to trust me and to open up. I feel like I f'ed up by giving in too much, but I do feel like if things were different we'd be together. I have tried to explain to her that having her around makes it difficult for me to focus on my relationship with my SO. She thinks I just want to cut her off. Just looking for a little advice on what to do now. Should I try to keep a friendship with her, even though the underlying tension is obvious. Try to introduce more tension or just cut her off completely?

Let me get this straight, you have a partner and you like your best friend? Are you with your "SO" out of convenience? Decide what you want first.

I agree. You really need to get your wants in check if you are going to do anything the right way in this situation. If you want this other girl, don't wimp out. Break up with your SO and move onto the next project. That is, unless your SO is cool with you chasing other women, which I doubt. Your "best friend" can't take you at your word with your current situation. Here you are in a relationship and you're trying to break up yours and your BF's. I doubt she can feel all that comfortable that you won't do the same thing to her down the line. Be real man. Don't take any of this as an insult to you, it's just how I see things going down. You can take it or leave it, but it sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it, too.

You're basically cheating on your S.O. right now. If not physically, emotionally. You're not the first guy to do it, and you won't be the last.

Take if from a guy who did what you did, tell your BF you need to clear your head. Take some time away from her, and determine what you want in a relationship. Let your S.O. that you're going through this too, and be straight with her.

Did you cheat because your BF is really a better fit for you, or did you just cheat because her pussy was available to you at the time. If the latter, just get your head back on straight and admit your dick got you to do something it wanted you to do and get back in control of it. If it's the latter, then let your girl go so you can have a shot at what you really want, and so she can have a shot at what she really wants, which likely is just to be with a guy who doesn't want to be with someone else.