Was it my fault?



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 Post subject: Was it my fault?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:53 pm
Posts: 1
I met this girl (22) because shes a friend of my friend's GF. So we hanged out couple of times and she liked me, so she get my number from a friend and start texting me. After a month of texting (she was chasing me all along) we went out on a party and after dancing together we started kissing in a car and holding hands... After that there were more massages (every day) and i took her out on a first date. We hold hands entire time and kissed couple of times when i get her back home. Then she inveted me in cinema (she was all over me entire movie) and we went for a couple of walks together (like a couple – holding hands, kissing,...) and i can tell she was talking about things we willl do in future together so i thought, she really wants to be mine. After 3 weeks everything started to fell apart. Less and less texting, when went out (alone or friends) she was moody. I fell something is not right. After a month she texted me that she is not sure if she is ready for a sirious relationship (she broke up with a guy 6 months ago, they were together for 3 years). So we talked, and agree we will take things slow but i didnt have any idea whats goin on until i realized she didnt get over her ex (we were at a party where she saw him). After that she started to avoiding time together so i told her she should just tell me if she doesnt want to see me again. She said she liked me (we even agree to have sexual relationship – she was very into it) and want to see me again. I told her i cant be waiting if her ex is a reason we cant have a sirious realtionship (i really really liked her and i was not far away to fall in love with her). She said every month (when shes has period) she gets deppresed becouse of him. So I told her she has time to think about everything and then tell me what she wants for us (we didnt see each other for 2 weeks beacuse she went abroad). After she came back she told me she cant have a boyfrined right now. She didnt want to fool around and just have sex with me either. So i said we cant see each other anymore becouse i cant be just friends with her. When i asked her whats the reason she wont be my GF she said she didnt fall in love with me as a main reason besides she didnt get over her ex. Now Im wondering that i didnt do enough (im 25 and pretty unexpirienced) – and thats the reason why she didnt fall in love with me (we were kissing (tounge) and stuff in the car for couple of times, she also meet all my best friends). I withold sex even tho i know i could bang her in first 2 weeks (she was all over me) but i wanted to take things slow couse i saw her as a GF material and everything seemed so perfect. I had no idea that she has baggage and everthing wil go upside down. It was totaly unexpected – because she was so into me. Even my friends couldnt believe it (we were hanging around together for a mont with her). Did i made a mistake, do you thing sex would change anything or i havent had a chance with her from beginnning because of her ex? Im not beating myslef up becaouse of sex alone but because of a possible relationship we could have if i were more agressive towards that direction.


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 Post subject: Re: Was it my fault?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:49 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:42 pm
Posts: 518
You made a few mistakes, but this was the nail in the coffin:

"I withold sex even tho i know i could bang her in first 2 weeks (she was all over me) but i wanted to take things slow couse i saw her as a GF material and everything seemed so perfect"

You basically showed her that you don't want things to get physical AKA Friend zone. Never ever do this again. Always push for f-close as quick as possible. Forget the "I don't want to have sex with her cos she's special" because it doesn't work like that. EVER. She's not special. YET

My previous girlfriend 3 years relationship, amazing girl we've had sex first night as a random club hook up. Just for reference.


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