Spacebar here,

Here is the situation :
My ex-GF still has immense feelings for me. I still try to talk to her out of courtesy. We were with each other since highschool and after four years that leads to a very serious understanding of each other's personalities and we are able to solve each others problems because we know exactly what our mannerisms and approaches to issues are. That being said- we still occasionally talk and help each other through things. Last night she called to talk, I answered hesitantly, we had a decent talk and she let "I love you" slip. I know this isn't a big deal but just a few days ago she called to talk and I did the same thing. She told me about a dance she went to for a Cru (campus crusades for Christ) program she has an active lead in. She told me it was a swing dance and she had fun with her friends and danced with a guy. NOT a big deal. To me it was just whatever she had fun, she is allowed to do that. But she then told me she lied to try to make me jealous.

Now, I consider myself to have a somewhat religious outlook on life but I definitely don't follow as deeply as her.

She is still being kind of clingy and holding on to something that isn't there. I don't have oneitis but its nice sometimes to think of the good times we had together and I had at a point considered giving it another shot. But I refuse to cling onto something that didn't work the first time for fear of a successful relationship in the future.

How should I approach her advances? It's hard to completely turn away. I refuse to be cold and ignore her because I don't want to leave her broken or confused. I want to always leave something/someone better than when I received it.

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“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

You have to help her move on. Get a new girlfriend.

She is currently undergoing a grieving process, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief It appears that she is in the Shock and Denial stage. Eventually, you'll need to facilitate the Despair and Depression stage to help her recover and move on.

Grief due to the death of a loved one is no different from grief due to the parting of ways of people in love. Some people can move on faster than others.

To prevent any stalking from your ex in the future, give her a token gift, say, a Parker pen or a chain watch. This token item will help cushion the pain and stop any of her impulses to stalk you.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Simple NO CONTACT with her it will do you both good and help you both move on

Thanks guys, its tough, but tough is what it needs. Ill try the no contact for now.

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“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Good luck I know its tough but its the only thing to really get you both to move on