| Hi,
Registered to this board due to what i think may be or not a case of oneitis or GIGS, but I tend to believe its not.
My story:
Was in a 5 year relationship, i knew it from some time that i would not work but did not end it.
Meanwhile there was this girl i work with (we are both in our thirties btw), been working side by side for 4 years, same desk.
In the last 6 months i realized i could see myself with her on a long term relationship and make both happy . I started slowly to see if she is into me...massages at work, touches etc. My feeling grew, I can say that i got to a point that I adored her. In the last 2 months we were secretly holding hands under desk, touching in a sensual way etc.
Yes, I was still with my 5 year gf but knew this was going nowhere.
I saw the girl at work was into me, she was always seeking my attention and touches. One night after we went to the gym together I made a move, I told her i am into her. Next day after work she waited for me and we ended up kissing in her car.
Just a quick side story about her: she has been on and off with this guy. She was really in love with him at some point him, he was just out of a relationship with her fiancee, she chased him, she got him, then he ran a while with the fiancee, then he chased her, cat and mouse play. They are in the same circle of friends so she always sees him. She didnt sleep with him, the guy told her there is no physical attraction (wtf?). I know this before i started to make moves on her as we were just best friends telling everything to each other. Even her female friends was joking that she has yet to make this guy sleep with her.
So after we kissed in the car she told me that she has a decision to make. She was supposed to go on a holiday abroad with another couple and the above guy, there have to book the same room and sleep in the same bed... so she was telling me she was trying yet another time with this guy. I told her ok, you do what you need to do.
She cancelled the holiday the next day in order to start something with me...or at least that was the plan.
Next two weeks we were all over each other, i was going to her apt to pick her to work, kissing, getting close to sex but I did not get any further because I was still with my 5 year gf. I would have felt bad and I felt she would not wanna start a relationship with a cheater.
So on a friday she was texting me in the office she really misses me. I go see her on Sunday on a quick visit and i get the bomb. She was out with friends and the new guy started to act totally different. He showed attention and sudden interest into her (after she cancelled the planned holiday). She was now confused and didnt know what to do..
Just a few days ago we were planning summer holidays to greece together...bleah
Anyway, after some talks with my gf we split in the following days. I left the girl at work alone to clear her head for 1 week, she was asking for space. When she still did not give a clear answer i said "ok, you still have feelings for this guy, go ahead, i am not going to wait for you to pick one". Anyway I felt she was already going for the other guy more than me at this point.
So she started being with this guy, i also found they booked another holiday together.
After a week of me showing little her very little attention, just strictly work related stuff, she sends me a text "talk to me". When we met to talk she starts crying, that she still misses me, she dreams of me (bla bla?) but she just has to see this cat and mouse relationship with this guy to see what happens, at least until June (why put time on it?). I told her I respect her decision but she must not expect me to be the friend I was, I have to see her as just a work colleague from this moment on.
Anyway, before she started to see this guy again she expressed that she was not comfortable me going to my gf while she goes alone at home, knowing i kiss and have sex with my gf and then come and kiss her and was not sure of my intentions. Also that she would feel like an immediate replacement.
Right now I am sort of ignoring her, just keep the talk just work related but she always seems to try to get more close, like grabbing my hand etc.
I know she just misses my attention and interest.
While I know I must move on and that there are million of other women, I still feel sad because I was seeing myself in the future with this woman and it is still hard to see her at work every day while my feelings have not cooled off (well, I am not showing it).
I know it’s a red flag from her …one day she says she feels like never felt before for me and than bam…I am confused..i like also the other guy.
What do you make of this story?
Put some sense into me
At this moment, I still hope her relationship with go sour (they have been like cat and mouse for 2 years) and we might start something in the future. I know its probably wrong, want to hear your opinion.
Thnx
|
CHAT
