Fucked up big time, quick help needed!



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:30 pm 
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So I have been dating this girl for 5/6 weeks now and we're into eachother big time, just on the edge of getting into an actual relationship which I haven't been in for four years. However last sunday I fucked up and I made out with another girl on a drunk night. 'My' girl doesn't know yet and there's only a small chance she'll find out but I can't live with keeping this from her so I'll go tell her I did it, how extremely sorry I am about it and how I do not want to lose her. I know she likes me just as much but it's understandable for her to be upset about me doing such think and I can completely relate. I just need some tips on how to tell her, how to feel a bit comfortable and have a normal conversation on our way to my house where I'll confess. I know I screwed up big time but I know there's still a chance for me to fix it. Please help me out!

Edit: And don't remind me of how I fucked up. I know I did and I don't feel sorry for myself at all nor do I expect anyone to do so, I feel sorry for her and that's why I can't keep it from her. I feel so bad about it and just need tips on how to bring it as lightly yet as direct as possible and in such a way we can just move on and both feel comfortable in a relationship.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:38 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm
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Take a deep breath. Realize that it's highly likely that when you tell her, knee jerk will be for her to be pissed, hate you, say she can't stand you, it's over, etc.

Just tell her the truth, how you really feel, and let her know you'll do whatever she needs you to do, including leaving her be for a bit to process what you've told her and decide what she wants to do about it.

Prepare yourself for it to be over though. Knee jerk is to say fuck you. But mature people can go either way depending on what they really feel for the other person. She could be willing to forgive you after she goes through her emotions, she may just have a limit that was crossed and be willing to forgive you but unwilling to forget. I've been where you are bro, but with someone I had a lot more of my life invested in. But you gotta man up because if she finds out later knowing you hid it all along, you stand no chance. You're better off coming clean and saving what dignity you can. If she's a keeper and things are as good as you say they are, then there's a good chance that after she gets over the rage there will be opportunity for you two to talk it out and maybe you'll get a chance to reassure her that you won't hurt her again.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:08 am
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Quote:
Take a deep breath. Realize that it's highly likely that when you tell her, knee jerk will be for her to be pissed, hate you, say she can't stand you, it's over, etc.

Just tell her the truth, how you really feel, and let her know you'll do whatever she needs you to do, including leaving her be for a bit to process what you've told her and decide what she wants to do about it.

Prepare yourself for it to be over though. Knee jerk is to say fuck you. But mature people can go either way depending on what they really feel for the other person. She could be willing to forgive you after she goes through her emotions, she may just have a limit that was crossed and be willing to forgive you but unwilling to forget. I've been where you are bro, but with someone I had a lot more of my life invested in. But you gotta man up because if she finds out later knowing you hid it all along, you stand no chance. You're better off coming clean and saving what dignity you can. If she's a keeper and things are as good as you say they are, then there's a good chance that after she gets over the rage there will be opportunity for you two to talk it out and maybe you'll get a chance to reassure her that you won't hurt her again.
I would totally understand her being pissed, be upset about it or just leave me altogether, I just can't do anything but tell her the truth, I was scared even see her in person today since it would feel so awkward, even though she knows nothing yet. I feel so ashamed to talk to her like nothing happened while I definitely fucked up and messed with her trust in me. Even after we had been dating for three days it was me she believed when some other guy tried to convince her I made out with some other girls which I didn't back then. I feel so bad about that and I can just hope she'll give me one more chance as I have definitely learned a lesson. The past few days have taught me more than I have learned in months. I felt like a real tough guy hooking up with girls and thinking playing with their feelings was something cool. To hell with that, I can't even believe how I have been thinking this way all the time. This girl truely felt for ME, not some fake AFC I have been trying to be and we have been dating succesfully the past few weeks. I feel like she deserves the real me and if that means the end of the two of us so be it. It's my own damn fault and I have to pay for that.

I don't expect her to forget, I just hope for her to forgive me. I'd wish it was tomorrow yet, I can't live with this damn feeling right now. Thanks for the reply mate, definitely gave a me a bright look at this whole case!


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