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I care about her a lot. We both are in a rough situation. Im 24 and have been taking care of my mom and brothers for almost 4 years (pay rent, power, gas, everything). I got to say, its not easy. Well this girl is 18 , she works around.80 hrs a week, and watches her cousins on the weekends. We see eye to eye . The problem is though she drinks because of it. And if i had to guess the drinking is a big cause of all this. I realize things are falling apart and there's not much to do but let it play out, but yeah i do love her. I think she has to much on her plate and just can't handle it. But it is what it is.
I think you know what she's doing, but I personally don't think you know why she's doing this. 18 yrs girl is in the stage of exploration be it sexual and socially; almost like a social butterfly. They are not happy when they are being restricted by caging them via external factors (in Asian families -- dating too young and too liberal are sometimes forbidden (very sad)). When this happens, they will rebel and it will show in her later lifestyle in the late 30s to mid 40s that they still harbour this pain with failed short term sexual only based relationships or unfulfilling romantic loving relationships because she can't give you her love when she ain't got any. She will inflict a lot of pain to her future boyfriends as they will be her scapegoats. Her behaviour is consistent with someone who's trying to run away from pain and suffering by drowning her mind with alcohol and work and unreasonable commitments. By this escape is temporary, because she has to face this demon eventually. Once conquered, she can then move and be a fun loving person. Don't over analyze it and don't over think it. You can help her by providing some emotional support , but you can't fix her. In somewhat of an irony, you too have similar issues like she does cause, otherwise you guys wouldn't be attracted to each other.
I guarantee you that if you work yourself being happy and proud and loving, you WILL NEVER attract these kind of girls anymore. In fact, you will find them grotesquely weak and insecure because you are attracting the fun loving and secure girls instead. Believe me, there are better fishes in the ocean other than her!
Like I said before, you have to really invest heavily and emotionally your love to her. It's very draining and the payback very minimum. You have a better payback with a new girl instead.
Hope this helps.