Ok, guys so I have been with my gf for 3 months and i have known her for about 2 years, and I am her first boyfriend. There are many things i really like about her, but lately I feel that things have been going downhill. She hastnt really sweet talked me for a few weeks, I feel that she really isnt trying to make time for me, and she hasnt really done much for me at all although every once in a while she will say things that imply a long term relationship like "when we live together.." ect., she doesnt text me much and when she has lately they have been very short messages. I also feel like some of the things I do for go go unappreciated and I have done alot for her. I am not sure whats going on or how to make this work again. She recently got a Job but i dont think that is an excuse. She loves to go out, she parties once in a while, she has alot of friends and she is extremely attractive. I would really like to make this work.. and advice? BTW she is 17 and I am 19

Doesn't sound like there is much here. What exactly are you asking?

Yes imho a job IS an excuse, she is 17 and may be feeling overwhelmed with her new job and the last thing she wants is a bf to smother her with a ton of texts (not saying you are, but its something to think about).

I have gone through spurts like this with my gf before, sometimes i do nothing and it gets better. sometimes i back off and play a little more distant and that usually gets her wanting to hang out more and verbalizing that she appreciates me.

Like i said there isn't too much here.

keep in mind you are young with a lot of opportunities ahead of you dont get stuck on one girl if it starts to become too much.

best of luck

I guess I want to know if I should try to get her interested in me again or if I am wasting my time.. I feel like she doesnt really want to hang out with me, she never sends me any cute messages, I feel like I am busting my ass for this relationship and she really hasnt done much for me. But at the same time I feel like I am lucky to have her but I want her to make me feel speacial. This has been going on for the last couple of weeks...

so maybe I should back off a little.?

I do have a lot of oppurtunities, but I always thought this girl was wiffey material up until now.

"busting my ass" bro never put more into the relasionship than the female.

Yes back off. go to the gym, hang out with friends, party if you want. if you become distant she is going to wonder what the hell is going on. Women are weird man.

You should read up on some push pull material on this site, it could really help you i think.

Thanks bro I really appreciate it

no problem. Hope it all works out.

Good luck

As Zues said, you need to back off and get distant with her. Stop smothering her.

But I must disagree that her job is not an excuse. If you ever manage to talk to her about things (though you should not be initiating this kind of conversation) I bet her excuses would range from she's been stressed about school to busy with her job. These are excuses. The reality is that you're either 1) smothering her or 2) she's been crushing on another guy.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Thanks man, yea I think after she payed less attention to me i did start to smother her. What i will do now is back off and do some push pull...let her come to me..

I think the job can certainly be a factor.

A month ago I slept with a 19 year old girl who works as a carer, she was really cool and someone with whom I hoped a relationship could develop. But due to her unsociable hours and extreme stress she was under, she began to initiate contact less and less and was more distant. Had I remained calm and just rode it out, something could have developed, but it caused me to demonstrate some neediness which just killed the attraction and I moved on.

I agree with another post on this thread: Never put more into the relationship than she is putting in.

Are you out of high school and she is in high school?

The job can add stress to a relationship.

Thanks for your story bro

And I am in College and she is in high school, But she is only taking 3 classes in high school, she gets out early. I understand that she has a busy life, but she doesnt try to fit me in them. I havnt seen her in almost a month and when she does have time she hangs out with her friends which i dont have a problem with but I do have a problem with her not taking any iniciative to hang out.