Hi guys,

So I was seeing this girl for a little over a month. We both go to the same university and are in a lot of the same classes so we see each other everyday. Anyways, things were going really well. We both agreed we didn't want to do the whole bf/gf thing and just wanted to take things slowly.

Then about a week ago she started acting really distant with me. I sort of shrugged it off at first thinking she was just having a bad week. I didn't mention anything about it until the end of the week. I asked her why she's been acting so distant. She said she's been having family problems and been really stressed about school and she was sorry she's been acting weird.

Then today we talked about it again and she said she wanted to end what we were doing. She said we were moving too fast and the above problems. Anyways, I really like this girl and want to get her back. I know I need to give her her space and stuff but the problem is we see each other every day. I'm just not sure how to proceed and honestly completely lost as to why she started acting so distant to begin with, it was like a complete 180.

thoughts?

SO as she say that you are proceeding fast.You ask her what she want if she really want that you slow down that so you must.But i think it is not a big issue there is any other reason behind that she is leaving you.

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She has a deeper reason. What she gave you is a pretext. In cases like this she either has some ex problems (didn't get over him / think or wants to get back with him) or there's some other guy. Some people want to take it slow , granted , but no one actually brakes up with their partner because "it's moving too fast".

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Try to ask her what she wants to take it slow. But if she really make up her mind, and not continuing your relationship, then you must accept and respect her decision. Although you are seeing her everyday, try to distant yourself also. You have to move on, even though you will fight for her, and she still sticks with her decision, you have nothing to do with that.

One of the reasons was she said she was afraid of getting hurt again. The guy she was with before cheated on her and they broke up in december. I know it's possible she was just using me as a rebound, which there is not much I can do about it then, though I'm hoping that's not the case.

Anyway, I have a lab later this week and we are partners. A lot of the time is just spent around doing nothing so I know we'll have to interact and stuff. Should I just act like nothing is different aka be friendly, joke around, etc. or should I be more distant (for instance, I can walk over to other peoples groups for some of the time and talk with them) give her my minimal attention?

Thanks for the responses so far guys.

If she wants you back, she will let you know. Otherwise, be friends with her for now. No point in acting distant or no contact. The deeper issue is that, she had a boyfriend and she was the dumpee. Usually the dumpee wants to get back with their former love and it's no point for you to compete or else end up being her rebound guy.

Alright, thanks for the advice.

Hypothetically, lets say I play it right and she comes up to me at the end of the week wanting to talk and saying she wants to get back together or something along those lines. What would be the best way to respond to that? I'd like to just say yes I think we should too but I also think that it could maybe just be a shit test to see if I'm being clingy or somethin.

Haha I know that it may be wishful thinking, but I'm not very experienced when it comes to relationships, so I'd like to have an idea of how I should handle that situation should it arise and not fuck things up.

For the future, this is what girls say EVERYTIME they start to lose interest.


Don't act distant. Act funny and happy and playful (this is how you should be acting all the time.) Tease her a lot. Flirt with other girls around her.

Their reason for loss of interest might be exactly the reason they invoke. When people are stressed by certain aspects of their life , they cannot properly focus on other aspects. So it's not loss of interest per se ,rather the incapability of receiving and reciprocating interest properly or the inability to act on that certain interest.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Well I mean I know the family problem thing is for real. She had someone in her family unexpectedly die. The thing that confused me was that was two weeks ago and that first week yes she was somewhat sad, but she was still acting really cool with me and we were still having sex, etc. But then last week happened. So I guess it's just hard for me to tell if she is just using that as part of an excuse or it's an actual reason.

Might be as in 0.01% chance. So stress about family and school happened to converge just as you guys were getting semi-serious? Give me a break.

Would you break it off with a smoking hot chick because you were "stressed about school"? Girl breaks it off with you = lowered level of interest. Period.

This. If it were partly true she would have said let's slow down. Interest is lost, ex is on her mind or other guy.

So are you guys saying I don't have a chance of getting back with her? I do care about her and would like to get back together. But if there really isn't any chance, I'm just going to completely move on before it turns into something pathetic haha.

well u guys were right...it was another guy, fuck her

If that's the case.

Your answer should be brief and short, but use a quantifier like "how" much, "how" serious etc.. If she starts yapping like a girl into explain mode, then keep your eyes gazing at hers for a few secs pretending you're listening and then start walking away slowly with your back against her. Keep yourself calm. If she goes after you, watch cue signs like touching etc.. If you get that approach, this means she and BF make up didn't go so well and she is thinking twice. You have a chance and leverage. Look back, gaze her eyes for a few seconds and tell her, you know my number and then walk away out of sight. Never try looking back. If you get the verbal approach with no touching, then do the same as the first approach, but you need to forget her. You don't want to be her #2 or worst #7 dude waiting in the wings. You want to be her #1.