is this chick confused or just overwhelmed?



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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 1:50 pm 
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Ok so it's been just over a week. A chick I dated for about a month and had a great time with all of sudden says we need to break up a week from last sunday. I wasn't destroyed by it but it was kinda weird because we were spending so much time together and also having a great time (sexually speaking). Anyways, I figured maybe I acted too AFC and fucked it up with her. So I left her alone and then 4 days later she calls me and really wants to meet up. At first she says just checking to see how you were doing, and I played it really cool. Then she asks if we can meet and as much as I was reluctant to do so, i went with my instinct (call them my afc instincts if you want) and met her. I played it really cool and laid back when we met and eventually we ended up talking and having a good time. There was some kino going on on her side but nothing massive and I didn't push it on my side as she knows the PUA game so she would sense what i was doing. Anyways, left it there and i haven't nor has she reached out since. At the end of the night she was like hope we can hang out if it's not too weird for you right now.

I don't really know what to make of things. I think we went too serious too fast and she backed off for some air. Also if you had a hyper sexual relationship and have been friendzoned, is it easier to get out? I don't know what to make of this situation but this is one of the hottest chicks i met in a while, we have great conversation, have great sexual chemistry, but somehow she's backing off because of her previous experience being dicked around by guys I reckon.


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:17 pm 
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Sounds like she enjoys your attention a lot and rather just be friends. I remember your other thread and i still truly believe she is the freak type who can't keep a long term relationship until she matures and wants to settle down.

You sound like a really nice guy and was quite a big AFC in the relationship. If you met her at her settle down period you would be perfect for her but right now she will most likely end up with some exciting bad boy, it won't last though but she is just enjoying the moment rather then going for the long run.

We are kinda in the same situation only my ex hasn't contacted me since we broke-up neither did i. But ill shoot her a text soon and i am determined into becoming fuck buddies rather then a relationship since this will not work.

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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:29 pm 
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Not fully convinced she is a freak. She is 30 and wants to settle down. I reckon I showed either too much afc, or we went too much into lust and she got worried that was all there was.

Just not sure if there is any angle here. She knows contacting a guy four days after a breakup is sending mixed signals or at least it fucks with a guy's head


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:40 pm 
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Quote:
Ok so it's been just over a week. A chick I dated for about a month and had a great time with all of sudden says we need to break up a week from last sunday. I wasn't destroyed by it but it was kinda weird because we were spending so much time together and also having a great time (sexually speaking). Anyways, I figured maybe I acted too AFC and fucked it up with her. So I left her alone and then 4 days later she calls me and really wants to meet up. At first she says just checking to see how you were doing, and I played it really cool. Then she asks if we can meet and as much as I was reluctant to do so, i went with my instinct (call them my afc instincts if you want) and met her. I played it really cool and laid back when we met and eventually we ended up talking and having a good time. There was some kino going on on her side but nothing massive and I didn't push it on my side as she knows the PUA game so she would sense what i was doing. Anyways, left it there and i haven't nor has she reached out since. At the end of the night she was like hope we can hang out if it's not too weird for you right now.

I don't really know what to make of things. I think we went too serious too fast and she backed off for some air. Also if you had a hyper sexual relationship and have been friendzoned, is it easier to get out? I don't know what to make of this situation but this is one of the hottest chicks i met in a while, we have great conversation, have great sexual chemistry, but somehow she's backing off because of her previous experience being dicked around by guys I reckon.
you have left me under the impression that you think girls don't enjoy sex or something...

have you made out with her or fingered her yet?

under the context you have provided of the two of you being in an ''offical relationship'' then breaking it off, it could be a billion different things, but if you were to take a good guess at it, you might as well assume one of the following

-you are not escalating or she feels no sexuality from you (you are playing it safe)
-she has interest in another guy
-she is starting to dis-like your personality
-her friends utterly dispise you and they gave her the ultimatum of you or them and she chose them

if the answer to have you made out with her or fingered her is no, then chances are she is bored because you don't make anything happen, don't take what girls say at face value, they like to resist and that is why they say illogical things that make you think they are not interested, they are interested, it is what she lets you do, not what she says you can do and not what you can get her to do for you, or what sort of reward you get for doing xyz, give her a makeout, don't try to get one from her, if she freaks out don't appologise or take back what you did, just remain genuine and sure of your intentions, if you like her, do something that shows you like her, and for fuck sakes don't try to take back or be sorry for revealing how you feel, it just makes it seem like you don't really like her, and it was just some sort of ploy or tactic to get a cheap makeout when you don't really care

sex is not a big deal, girls love it more then guys, they just pretend they don't because being a slut = worse then death

keep it discreet, don't judge her sexually, don't talk about std's ever, don't talk about girls being sluts ever (absolutely don't judge any girl for her sexuality ever in front of another girl, not even as a joke), and take the damn responsibility for everything, do everything without permission, your fault, all on you, lead don't follow

GOOD LUCK


Last edited by pumpington on Mon May 21, 2012 2:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:47 pm 
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Dude we were fucking like rabbits right up to the breakup day. I fucked her four times that Friday night, I fucked her right before dinner on Saturday night. It was a sper sexual relationship and we could talk for hours about all kinds of stuff from personal to intellectual to silly. She would tease me that she thought I was an animal that I wanted to fuck so much, yet she also couldn't resist and pull my pants off right at points when we were about to go out. It was almost too sexual. But believe me the conversations were also amazing. There was just some shit I did she didn't like, like always dominating the conversation, and some other shit.


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:50 pm 
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Dude we were fucking like rabbits right up to the breakup day. I fucked her four times that Friday night, I fucked her right before dinner on Saturday night. It was a sper sexual relationship and we could talk for hours about all kinds of stuff from personal to intellectual to silly. She would tease me that she thought I was an animal that I wanted to fuck so much, yet she also couldn't resist and pull my pants off right at points when we were about to go out. It was almost too sexual. But believe me the conversations were also amazing. There was just some shit I did she didn't like, like always dominating the conversation, and some other shit.
well if the rolls were reversed and I was in your situation, my best guess would just be she has interest in some other guy, if you don't care about the whole relationship thing, just keep hanging out with her, for a little while just take her on a date or two that doesn't end in you and her getting it in, after a couple of those, just go back to getting it in as normal and don't push a relationship or anything (keep in mind she could be seeing some other guy)


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:58 pm 
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Well I do want a relationship with her or least try to see if we can head in that direction. The first day she had some free time last thurs she calls me. It might be bullshit but I know her company is going through some shit right now so she is working like a dog.

So you reckon I just keep hanging and not cut her off like all the books say? I don't want to be her buddy nor do I want her just for sex. I reckon based on how much we would go at each other she can't possibly see me as a non sexual friend now. And do I let her initiate or can I reach out to her as well?


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 3:46 pm 
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Dude, when she called you and wanted to meet up, she was horny and wanted to have sex. You even said that she was escalating on you. Its difficult to say whether she wants a relationship or not, but on that particular day that she called you, I can guarantee that she wanted to have sex, it was a booty call.

I know that this probably doesnt help with the overall situation in determining what she wants or what the problem was in the relationship, but it should put a small part into perspective.


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:02 pm 
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Yeah probably. But all my buddies were like whatever you do don't fuck her tonight. Put it this way, we met at this coffee shop and then when that closed she ends up walking towards the coffee shop right under her building. Should I have or should I not have, I don't know. Fucking her would have turned us into fuck buddies and I want more so I didn't push it. Now whether I should just back off and wait for her to call again I don't know. To make matters worse I got a text from an ex I was dating before her and she wants to meet up. And had like 7 chicks email me on match.com this weekend so maybe I just need to hook up other chicks and let her sort herself out for a while.


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:22 pm 
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well man, a little bit of space to give her time to miss you would be ok, but she hasn't really done anything too wrong, and you don't seem super needy or anything, maybe you are feeling needy (if you are you can tell better then anyone), sometimes you just can't get what you want, that is why you get to know the person before you sleep with them and manage expectations before you sleep together

not saying that a relationship won't happen, but if it has been a month and there is already problems, something is going on, exactly what it is, is only a shot in the dark and you shouldn't take analyzing this too seriously

probably just something in her life, or she likes you and some other guy at the same time and wants to see you both without ''cheating'', so she can uphold some sort of moral code or something,

really you just have to ask yourself what you want, if you want to keep seeing her even if it doesn't turn into a relationship, then by all means, but if you find she is cutting you off from sex all together, might as well move on, unless you want a friend (and you say you don't), so really this is just a call you have to make based on what your gut is telling you


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:23 pm 
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Yeah probably. But all my buddies were like whatever you do don't fuck her tonight. Put it this way, we met at this coffee shop and then when that closed she ends up walking towards the coffee shop right under her building. Should I have or should I not have, I don't know. Fucking her would have turned us into fuck buddies and I want more so I didn't push it. Now whether I should just back off and wait for her to call again I don't know. To make matters worse I got a text from an ex I was dating before her and she wants to meet up. And had like 7 chicks email me on match.com this weekend so maybe I just need to hook up other chicks and let her sort herself out for a while.

Exactly what you need to do, hook up with other chicks, you'll be surprised how quickly her attitude will change when she realises you dont need her anymore


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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:57 pm 
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Yeah i hear you Pumpington and league.

A friend of mine described it as embracing uncertainty which none of us is willing to do. Thing is her story is complicated by the fact that she got super serious with a guy and a year later he said to her he can't marry her because his family will not approve of someone of her background/religion, which am sure fucked her up, especially as he only told her a year later. I don't think there's another guy but one has to be open to any possibility I guess. I think she's got trust issues and perhaps backing off now and just 'hanging' out with me will make her realize that we are more than just humping dogs around each other. I'm gonna line up some dates this week.

What I hate most is that I feel like I use new chicks to get over old chicks, and it's just a cycle. It's like an alcoholic trying to get over whiskey by drinking vodka. I literally go from chick to chick and yeah as a man it feels good to have a woman around but it also sucks that one of the first girls I met in a long time who I can just sit and talk with for hours and also be super attracted to, i can't even date for a while longer to see if our connection was more than just a short term thing. Yeah she had her reasons to want to take a break and yes so early is not good (though we went quite serious in a month to be honest). All I know is my gut says there is still some potential with that one and I just need to chill out, live my life, and be open to the possibility


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:39 pm 
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Dude we were fucking like rabbits right up to the breakup day. I fucked her four times that Friday night, I fucked her right before dinner on Saturday night. It was a sper sexual relationship and we could talk for hours about all kinds of stuff from personal to intellectual to silly. She would tease me that she thought I was an animal that I wanted to fuck so much, yet she also couldn't resist and pull my pants off right at points when we were about to go out. It was almost too sexual. But believe me the conversations were also amazing. There was just some shit I did she didn't like, like always dominating the conversation, and some other shit.
well if the rolls were reversed and I was in your situation, my best guess would just be she has interest in some other guy, if you don't care about the whole relationship thing, just keep hanging out with her, for a little while just take her on a date or two that doesn't end in you and her getting it in, after a couple of those, just go back to getting it in as normal and don't push a relationship or anything (keep in mind she could be seeing some other guy)
hangon, this could be the wrong advise here,

im ina similar situation now. i became too keen too soon.

at first, she organized the date beven bought me tickets/drinks etc.

she knows the game exists, was guaging me up around other guys i know, telling me shit like im too touchy feely, asking me what if i got AMOG'd? that i like affection too much etc. i didnt care, just escalated anyway.

fast forward last week, she got smashed and ended on my bed naked, for fucks sakes i didnt put it in because she had an injury, and we were fucked off our heads.

the day after out in town i asked if she was down to come home and she said no, she wanted to hang with some friends and told me even if we are dating, shes still a single girl.

shes flaked on me twice, i've frozen her out for a day, she initiated contact with a lot o smily faces, i just said im busy and fobbed her off. one more day goes with no contact, i sent her a random text asking how she is, no contact.

if i meet her again, jusdging by your advise, dont you think its the best to escalate to sex instead of acting disinterested in this situation? i'll be more of a pussy if i didnt.

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 5:57 am 
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Quote:
Ok so it's been just over a week. A chick I dated for about a month and had a great time with all of sudden says we need to break up a week from last sunday. I wasn't destroyed by it but it was kinda weird because we were spending so much time together and also having a great time (sexually speaking). Anyways, I figured maybe I acted too AFC and fucked it up with her. So I left her alone and then 4 days later she calls me and really wants to meet up. At first she says just checking to see how you were doing, and I played it really cool. Then she asks if we can meet and as much as I was reluctant to do so, i went with my instinct (call them my afc instincts if you want) and met her. I played it really cool and laid back when we met and eventually we ended up talking and having a good time. There was some kino going on on her side but nothing massive and I didn't push it on my side as she knows the PUA game so she would sense what i was doing. Anyways, left it there and i haven't nor has she reached out since. At the end of the night she was like hope we can hang out if it's not too weird for you right now.

I don't really know what to make of things. I think we went too serious too fast and she backed off for some air. Also if you had a hyper sexual relationship and have been friendzoned, is it easier to get out? I don't know what to make of this situation but this is one of the hottest chicks i met in a while, we have great conversation, have great sexual chemistry, but somehow she's backing off because of her previous experience being dicked around by guys I reckon.
You were too easy of a catch to her and she got bored. Secondly, you fucked her too much meaning that she knew that she was your only sex toy. You were way too available, which means she owns you.
Seriously, if you have other things and stuff to do genuinely, she can sense that energy. If you try to manufacture games because you had nothing else going on is when she smells a PUA game. Women who prowl on the streets long enough have well developed antennas that can smell weak energy emanating from a weak beta male. If you're sincere and have a full social plate of other women, they can sense that too. Men who she hung out with longer probably fit this profile of a natural game player. Probably it was the Alpha male who dumped her after he's had enough of her meat with all kinds of reasonable excuses. And she probably tell you those excuses as make believe.

Go out and be sociable with other girls and be busy enough with other stuff. She'll know if you have become unavailable and hard to catch. But then, are you sure you want her in a relationship? You know that beautiful exotic animals (the 2 legged kind) require special exotic SPAM.


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