Hey guys I have a common situation and am unsure how to handle it. Me and my gf have been n a relationship for about 3 years now. Basically the sex has gone down to none at all. We gave lived together for about a year now and says that she loves me but she just hasn't been in the mood for sex. She stil gives me affection but she never let's it escalate past that anymore. I have used the punish and reward system but it doesn't seem to be working anymore. Any advice?

Never put more into the relationship than the other does. "punish and reward system" is for sparking the sexual flame in a relationship, it is for getting control in your relationship. So this is wrong.

Soft Next, distant, and kind gestures are for sparking a flame. If the diminished sex/attraction continues after that, then you two need to have a sit down and discussing seperating.

Question here is, what is her interest level in you? Do you have a benchmark to compare? Typically after the woman gets you and becomes comfortable with you is when the interest level is near the borderline -- close to where you will get dumped from her. By shutting out sex, she's telling you that you're easy. By giving your affection, she's pitying you for being a lost puppy. Your game is so predictable it's like playing Atari's PONG as she now has the power. You are now on the begging side. If you kept playing the punish and reward system, you're basically pushing her interest down. For haven sakes, do not discuss that you're not getting any sex from her which will then amount to begging. Begging is NOT a manly trait.

For male traits, you need challenge, confidence and self-control. Challenge is KEY to jump starting attraction, so it is really important in any relationship to keep yourself busy and unavailable through your actions. Go back to what you were doing before gradually and make yourself become unavailable. Don't afraid to say "NO" from time to time to her. She will do this unconsciously to test your manliness.

Communication is useful only to keep a happy positive and high interest relationship going up or to ascertain woman language. When it starts going down, you need to switch from less communication to more viable actions! If her woman language told you that you're now done like dinner, make your choice if you want to prolong your agony when she had lost any passion towards you.

Women has nesting behavior and will stay with a man as long as she can tolerate before leaving you while having absolutely no passion in you. Whatever she does for you in sex and kissing are done out of self-pity. What's that said of a man who lingers around with that kind of a woman?!?