Girlfriend losing attraction? should i ignore her?



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:47 pm 
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Hello, I've been together with my girlfriend for 4 months now, the two months were the best two months in my life, everything between us was so perfect and we loved eachother and had only a few arguments but solved them immedietly.. She'd always tell me that she loves me and she'd come surprise me and come to my house with a gift for no reason.. We'd talk for hours until she sleeps.. Her dad is a bit annoying and he doesn't let her go out alot and it started to piss me of that i would go out to parties and with friends without her being with me, i wanted to have fun with her, not with other people.. I takled to her about it and she was as pissed as i was because it was out of her hands..
I started acting like a jerk about it and chose to go out with my friends when i had the chance to go to her place.. When she had fights with her parents so she could go out and they didn't let her, i made it worse on her by fighting with her about her not going out... She started changing and the way she talked to me changed and it seemed like she was losing interest.. My friend talked to her and she told her she was hurt because of all the things I did so I realized that my acts were going to make me lose her, so i bought her flowers and cupcakes and wrote her a letter apologizing about everything stupid i've done and that i care about her and will change and hopefully we'll be back to the old US.. at first things went well but she changed again and it seems like she's losing interest.. She tells me that she loves me but not as much as she did in the first two months.. she's not as sweet as she used to be, we don't talk alot like we used to be, it feels like she's being forced to talk to me... is it because I care too much now than i did in the first two months? is it because i'm the one who buys gifts now?( she used to do that and surprise me every once in a while in the 1st two months).. I know she loves me and i'm sure i love her so much and i feel like my life revolves around her now, i can't afford to lose her.. i thought about ignoring her for a while so she could realize that she might lose me and gain attraction again.. Talking with her about it won't solve things cuz we did it a few times and nothing got fixed.. Thank you in advance.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 6:18 am 
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Spacing is very helpful


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 8:55 am 
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That was hard as fuck to read man.

It sounds like the 'honeymoon phase' of the relationship between the two of you was fractured by your immature behavior. Why fight about whether or not she can go out if she already fought about it with her parents? You just begin to associate yourself with negative emotions when you do that.

Further, her pulling away has whipped you into submission. It sounds like you are a stone's throw away from becoming a pathetic lovesick loser that no woman wants to be with. Women want confidence, and it sounds like you are kissing her ass because she is kicking you to the curb.

"I can't afford to lose her" ? What kind of talk is that. If she doesn't want to be with you, then you certainly don't force it. If you REALLY want to be with her, then you have to be confident. Make her have fun, don't smother her, keep it low-pressure, and certainly don't start any 'serious conversations' with her about "why are you acting like this, are we going to stay together, do you love me anymore" etc.

My advice? Go out and meet more girls. There are plenty of fish in the sea. After a couple of successful dates with some other girls, you will either find it easier to move on from your current girlfriend, or you will be energized with confidence. Either way is win-win for you(for both of you really).


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 12:22 am 
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Dude, she doesn't trust you anymore. Either earn it back or move on. Meaning no more of this submisive begging crap. Its unattractive and makes you look like a wuse.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:08 am 
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hey man I'm in the same shoes as you right now.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:40 am 
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I am going thru the same exact thing as well. I have found that backing off just alittle and being Playful, fun and confident seems to be helping. Ive just chilled out and let her initiate contact and I act busy or don't answer right away. It took a good few weeks and a few good conversations for me to chill out but I'm finally making progress again. I would recommend trying it out. Hang in there man stay confident and Goodluck.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:18 pm 
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Don't make the mistake of believing that she is any different or special. I went through a reasonably similar thing where the dynamic changed, I thought we could "talk things through" and now I am in a no contact phase that probably will not come to any favourable conclusion.

Just let her initiate, let her come to you, take a step back and don't be afraid of talking to other girls. You don't have to fuck them.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 9:43 pm 
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Quote:

Just let her initiate, let her come to you, take a step back and don't be afraid of talking to other girls. You don't have to fuck them.

This is working very well for me.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 11:34 pm 
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If she is in the process of losing interest i think ignoring her would actually cause her to really just lose interest quicker. Don't be too available all the time as if your living for her, but don't ignore her. If it were me, I think i'd do something such as taking her out to the first place you met her or something romantic like that, and take the next few days after that to gauge if anything changes. Actions speak louder than words or in this case, being a better boyfriend says something more than just apologizing for messing up. Also depending on how old you are, just man up and talk to her dad about it, i'd imagine unless hes a fucking asshole youll gain both respect from him and definitely your girlfriend once she sees you were man enough to handle the whole not going out situation and im sure she would be appreciative as hell. Good luck though

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:02 am 
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Quote:
I am going thru the same exact thing as well. I have found that backing off just alittle and being Playful, fun and confident seems to be helping. Ive just chilled out and let her initiate contact and I act busy or don't answer right away. It took a good few weeks and a few good conversations for me to chill out but I'm finally making progress again. I would recommend trying it out. Hang in there man stay confident and Goodluck.
Thanks Bro, My chick pulled away due to stress of new job/fight with her mom and I got all bent about it and I turned into an emotional faggit. Just 1 day of me chilling the fuck out she's asking me to kiss her during dinner.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:12 am 
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do your best to get back the attraction.

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