need advice, asked for break



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 4:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:26 am
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My girlfriend and I have been talking for almost 3 months but have been exclusive for about a month, we both went home for break and beforehand i went home with her met her fam, stayed for a few days, had great sex, then drove home. Now that i've been home things have been tough we really miss each other, but for the most part we have been doing really well. 2 nights ago we sexted sand she talked about how she can't wait to fuck etc...

Meanwhile my ex gf texts me, i respond, act civil, but clearly let her no there is nothing between us and that i will not be cheating on my gf with her, or even hanging out or getting coffee with her.

Because my ex is crazy and i know my gf is worried about her, i didn't want this to surface down the road and become a huge fight, so i told my current girlfriend that my ex texted me asking to hangout, i showed her the text saying

"me and (new gf) are going to last, if you are trying to get me back you should stop"

my ex says you shouldn't text her back.

I say trust me you are the most important girl to me, id never take her back over you.

she says she worries that ill cheat, etc etc etc says im being sketch or something..

I snap

I tell her why would she be mad at me for responding when i clearly showed her i told my ex we would not be hanging out or hooking up. Especially because my current gf responded to her ex while we were dating....

She says I stopped responding to him a week ago.

I said "i didn't know he was still texting you, and i don't care, but i find it pretty hypocritical that you are mad at me for texting back my ex when you've done the same, and wanting me to tell you but you don't want to do the same."

we start fighting, i act somewhat beta, and as i realize this i say

Listen, I spent 2 years in a relationship with trust issues and jealousy and constant fighting, i can't do it again. this isn't working. We need to take a break until i get back to school, she is free to hook up with whoever and we will talk in a few weeks back at uni.

she says okay

since than i have been doing NC




How could i have better handled this?

and how should i proceed when she breaks NC. In the chat some people said wait atleast 3 days before responding to her to talk about it. That's if she responds in 3 days.

I've been gaming other girls and stuff but I don't feel like fucking anyone else, just like knowing that i could if i wanted to.

We've never fought before this distance came between us, and i think the lack of sex is making us irritable. I know she is VERY into me. How do i react when she contacts me?


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:28 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:32 am
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Location: England
Honesty is good and everything, but I don't really see the reasoning behind showing her the texts. She probably read something else into it rather than you showing absolute honesty with her.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 6:42 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm
Posts: 587
The answer is simple. Don't text your ex back, and just show her every time your ex does text you. Fuck it, just call her when it happens and tell her. Each time you choose not to text your ex back, she'll see you choosing her over your ex, and her issue is solved.

You're creating the problem by texting your ex back. If you're not intent on being friends with her, or going for coffee ever, what's the point in telling her anything? Not replying says everything you need to tell her, with less effort.

I would quit the NC myself, and just tell her you thought about it, and say you're sorry and that you thought you were doing the right thing by showing her the texts and all, but that next time you won't even bother replying. All you gotta do to understand is ask yourself how you'd feel if she was texting her ex. Even if she shows you, the fact that you can't resist replying back shows weakness, which means if she showed up in the wrong place, wrong time, you'd fuck her.

Just ignore your ex, and show your woman the proof that you're doing that, and eventually the ex will go away and it won't be an issue. But every time you respond, you give your ex hope.


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