So I've been super into this girl for years. She's my best friends sister and we practically grew up together. I eventually mustered up the courage to ask her out she said yes so we went out. First date. We end up making out and she was all about to have sex. I stopped her because I wanted I take it slow. Second time out I'm with her and her friends. We hook up and she's all over me. Then I ask her out on a one on one date then she tells me she doesn't feel the same way. She doesn't see me as more than a friend. Any way to salvage this? Is this a shit test? What do I do?

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AFC Level 1

Sounds like you kind of missed your opportunity. Wanting to take it slow, could be translated as fear, very unattractive.

It's not so much a shit test, sounds more like she see you as a bit too much of a nice guy and connected to her sister makes it a bit painfully messy.

She probable fears your going to turn into this love struck puppy. I'd just play it cool, like the whole thing doesn't bother you and if another opportunity presents it self escalate quickly verbal and physically.

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My blog: Makeshift Alpha

Sounds logical. I wish I could think of these things on the fly. I'm going to play it cool like you said and next time we go out ill hit on other girls in front of her and maybe she will react to it.

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AFC Level 1

God dude that sucks! I've done that before though... She's probably a good girl if you really know her like that and still want to date her, but I'll say this is a good thing because you were ready to dive down into a waterfall of love and even if you two did have sex, this probably would have still happened, once she started working out the logical part of her brain unless you are just the man at keeping a woman emotionally high.

all in all this is an experience for you to add to your rep. take her up on her offer and go back into friends slowly. Girls in her social circle will know you're cool and chill enough to have that happen and say F it and move on without severing the relationship.... (this has got me dates and even her friends all over me at bars which led to the girl I wanted, noticing me )

I appreciate the positive attitude. I can most definitely slide back into the friend role but that's not what I want. She is the perfect girl. Everything I can want in a girl. A perfect match for me every way I think. I just don't get what I did wrong to fuck this up. Whether I'm not attractive enough or my personality. Idk. I'm just upset that I couldn't get the perfect one. I'm not attracted to other girls when I go out. I can't imagine ever finding another girl as relatable. This girl is beautiful. Plays Xbox sports and loves cars. That is once in a lifetime stuff there. No other girl is as attractive as she is. How can I possibly approach another girl when none of them are half as good?

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AFC Level 1

The answer is time friend... I feel very similar to you this very moment but I have been where your at precisely and not too long ago! in fact her name is Ashley and I talked to her for over an hour on the phone today about the girl who left me last night lol. She was great in every way and looked like Actresses Victoria Justice and Selena Gomez mixed. I thought she was perfect and the ground she walked was gold, she even wanted to date me but it never ever worked out.
It could work out in your case brother, but You stand a high chance of severing the relationship you two have... maybe you should take sometime away from her to see if she will start to miss you... thats gotta be your best weapon ( the Element of Missing Someone )

I want to be with her eventually I just have to find a way to get her to want to be more than friends.

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AFC Level 1

Dude! Probably every single guy here has had oneitis as some point. I also had it bad... thought she was perfect in every way but trust me, there are better girls out there. This is a simple case of oneitis.

If the PUA world has taught me anything in the short time that I have been in the community, Is that don't get hung up on one girl! This will probably all sound like nonsense because your emotions are telling you that she is the one, But you must overcome your emotions and let your brain take control.

Do a search for oneitis here and read 100s of posts by others they all sound exactly the same. Best thing to do Or I would do in your situation is that i would remain friends but keep contact to the bare minimum.
Date other girls, at first you will be like none of these girls even compare to ...(oneitis), and eventually you will realise how wrong you are.

I myself am currently getting over my Oneitis who fucked another dude while we were sort of on a break, and the only way to get over her is to date other women and go out a few nights a week (whcih I am currently doing)

That's easier said than done. I had a oneitis two years ago who introduced me to heartbreak and I still haven't been able to get a girl since her. I've slept with a couple girls only since her but they weren't girls I genuinely enjoyed. I need to actually find girls who are better which I haven't. This recent girl was in fact better but I failed at her. How many girls will I find who have the complete package like she does? Sports video games cars and looks? Not many. I may find more physically attractive ones but odds are they are bimbos. I need to build my game I know that. I've only slept with ten girls my whole life at 23 yrs old. And I've only ever had one girl that I've been in a legitimate relationship with. Idk how to improve my game. Reading only does so much.

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AFC Level 1

I know its hard man, I am going through it right now.
Dude you are 23 and you have had 10 sexual partners, that's 4 more than me and I am almost 26. But the only way to meet other girls is to go out and search for other girls. I'm only saying this because I am currently forcing myself to do the same, even though some nights I really cant afford it or even be bothered. I wouldn't preach what I don't practice. And honestly I still think about my oneitis almost daily but its much... much easier to cope with now that I am meeting new people.

I think the best way to improve your game is to become an active member of a PUA community. You get some great advice, Links to videos, Feedback on issues and even meet people to go out sarging with.

I'm definitely trying to become more involved in the pua community. I want to take the power back into my hands. But one thing still bugs me about this girl. I never got to get her on a real date. We only hung out with friends after I told her I liked her. We never had a one on one date. I feel like I never got a chance for her to think of me as a dating partner. Should I confront her about this?

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AFC Level 1