I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl and my insecurities are starting to get in the way, and I need your advice. Heres the story, I am 25 and live in New Hapshire, and have worked with this girls dad for 5 years. She is 19 and from Virginia, and visits her dad every few months and always has been around my work when she visits him. Earlier this year when she was visiting she suggested that we hangout after I get out of work sometime which took me by suprise, as she was younger and I didnt realize she had an interest in me, it was something I had never really thought about. So we end up making plans to hangout and ended up going on more of a date, it was a good time and we both talked non stop, we clicked more than expected. I could tell she was very nervous and had a huge crush on me. After that night we continued to hangout everyday for the remainder of the time she was here, she spilled her guts and told me shes had a massive crush on me for years, and to make a long story short, I fell madly in love with her and a month later we were dating. Things moved VERY fast over the course of that month and we were texting all day everyday and she would call me 3 times a day(keep in mind she was back in Virginia). She even made a trip up here to see me at the 2 month mark for 2 weeks and everything went so well, when she got home it was even worse, she would SPAM me alot, text me all day and call me...She became my ONE-ITIS. Everything has been so intense and we clicked so well we were always on the same page. AKA The honeymoon phase but more so than ive ever experienced in my past relationships (Ive been in 2, 4 year relationships before this so pretty long term. She has never had a REAL relationship)
She started talking about being with me forever and a future and all that stuff within 1 month. We have now been dating for 4 months, and all that has continued, but slowed down as expected. With her ive always found a great balance between showing alittle neediness and being strong and independent which has her hooked. There has only a few minor bumps with me drinking and texting stupid shit that turned into arguements which fueled alittle insecurity on my part. unfortunately it has repeated probably about 2 times in the last month and we had to talk thru it because I was afraid of messing things up. We just had gotten all that situated and I layed off drinking with my friends until about 2 weeks ago when my dad passed away...., and i developed anxiety and unwanted stress and insecurities which have taken a towl on the relationship because I have let it. I turned from confident and dominant to insecure and needy FAST. She immediately seemed to react by backing off. She doesnt text nearly as often as she used to, she calls once a day and conversation is strong sometimes and weak other times, shes trying to be supportive but actually hasnt been. It has been driving me crazy. I randomly started checking up on her over facebook and instagram to see how often shes on and who she talks with, I ask her questions about our relationship, and I have been smothering her in need of comfort. Since there has been such a drastic change in our communication so quickly I have fallen extremely insecure and desperate... fast like I said. Im ruining things, and worrying about things I dont need to, and its apparent she is reacting to it. Now im leaving to go see her in 2 days.. which is one thing she is really excited about and I think I have an opportunity to redeem myself. We had a long SPAM chat over all this tonight and the whole time she was looking down and not showing a whole lot of interest, I apologized several times and she said everything is fine.. but I can tell its really getting to her. Yeah my dad passed away and its been tough but I am totally ruining things by being REALLY insecure and constantly asking her if everything is ok between us. My value in her eyes is low right now and I need suggestions on getting everything back to the way it was, if possible. I have been studying pickup and relationships for 5 years on this site and immediately thought to post this in this section. It goes to show how fast things can be ruined my neediness and insecurity.

As of this morning we had a really long 2 hour talk on the phone and she told me I have been making it seem like she is doing something wrong all the time, she feels like I have a constant watch over and question everything these past few weeks and it making her emotional and down. She said she doesnt want to have to worry about the relationship all the time and hopes I return to my normal self soon.. The problem is I know exactly everything I was doing wrong and its driving me more insane, I definitely need help at this point. Thanks guys!