I feel really pathetic and powerless right now, as I keep having this problem with my girlfriend for a while, and don't know how to fix it (if it's even possible)

I know this girl for more than 4 years, and we've been friends all that time because I always wanted to be in a relationship with her.I was even obsessed with her for a while (got over it now)
During this time, she was in a relationship with a guy, for more than 3 years

6 months ago, I finally found a pickup artist community and started changing my behaviour, and the timing was perfect as she was having a rough period with that guy
So I took this opportunity and started seeing her.
It all started casual, and while we were dating, she was still technically with him
But as things started getting more serious between us, they broke up, and now only see each other and talk

I tried to completely separate them a few times before, but it didn't work out so well as I would only push her away.We finally had a discussion,and I told her I can't keep seeing her if they're still seeing each other
She told me she'll end it with him by december 31
But a few days ago she told me she simply can't do it, as she still has feelings for him, as it was a 3 years long relationship
So I told her it would be best if we took a break, until she figures out exactly what she wants

I now feel as if it wasn't the best decision I could possibly take, but I simply don't know what to do anymore
I love her, and I'm not ready to end it just yet, even though this seems like the easy thing to do

She limits her feelings for me.She doesn't want to invest too much in the relationship with me.She doesn't even want to go public on facebook yet.I'm sick and tired of me trying so much, and she almost not trying at all

I'm really feeling lost, and don't know what to do anymore
Should I go on with this break?If I give it up, it might be the good thing to do, but I'll appear as insecure as I don't follow through with the things I say I'll do
Will she always have feelings for him, and the harder I'll try to forbid it, the more I'll push her away?
Should I simply accept her as she is, and not want more from her?I feel as if she doesn't love me back, and it kills me inside to see she limits her feelings for me

I really don't know what to do?I'm a very analytic guy, and I've looked over this problem from all possible points of view, yet I don't know what to do
None of my friends can give me a competent advise, and this problem doesn't let me focus on anything

Also, she's 21, and I'm 22.
This is the second relationship for both of us, so neither of us has too much experience in this "field"

Dealing with this same shit. I just ended it with her a few days ago. I'm not doing anything with her until she figures her shit out. End it with her, and see if she misses you. You're just setting yourself up for more heartbreak if you don't.

Tried doing that, but she's a psychology student, so she knows how the human minds works, and she also know I'm in love with her
So she's telling me that if I'll totally ignore her, it will only drive her away, and if I think about it, it does make sense

Cause if I knew 100% that totally ignoring her would fix it, I would push myself and not look for her until she'd come back to me by herself.But I'm not sure it's the best plan.Some people say to totally ignore her, some say to shower her with love and show her I'm better than the ex, while she says she needs my help to go through this

I'm not sure what to think anymore!

From what you posted, she's limiting her feelings for you, she's just not that interested in you. If she was, she wouldn't be seeing him on the side. If you don't look out for your best interests ie. distance yourself from her for a little while, you look weak. She'll know she can keep doing whatever she wants with him on the side, and you'll stick around. I know it hurts, I'm dealing with the same shit.

The thing is, she's only talking to him when they see each other
They don't sleep together or kiss or anything like that
So the fact that she sees him doesn't bother me that much

What's bothering me is that she still has feelings for him, and I believe that's one of the reasons she's limiting herself to me
But ignoring her is like punishing her for her feelings.It seems as if I force her to love me
That's why this seems wrong, and I can't dedicate myself entirely to completely ignoring her

Because no matter how much I'd want her to love me more, I don't think this is the best way to go
Actually, I don't even know if there's anything else to do but to break up with her

Ok, so she technically cheated on him? But she still has feelings for him?
And you believe her when she says they only talk now?? Wake up man, get out ASAP!
First of all, the fact she studies psychology shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with her being able to manipulate you.. She wants it both ways, and she probably has the other guy wrapped around her finger the same way she has you.

Are you her puppy? You really sound like you are. Stand up for yourself, tell her she can't have you both so until she figured it out she should leave you alone.. That's what a real man would do.
Tell her if she still has feelings for him, she is not ready to be in a relationship with you.
And you know what? If she pays attention to her "psychology" stuff, it will show her you have high value, decency and self-esteem. On top of that, you are not afraid to walk away from your love and look for a new one.
If you do believe that, then she really is good in manipulating you. IF there is a way she will end up with you, going no contact is the only one.
Learn to have more self respect, don't let her treat you like that. To be honest, I hope you will find another girl.
If you have the balls, go and ask her ex if they are "just" talking... You can tell him you are seeing her and just want to make sure things are over between him and her. Don't be surprised of his answer!

CMD, she's not some kind of heartless bitch, who's trying to fuck both of us
She really is just confused right now, not trying to intentionally hurt me

He is a loser.My brain does try to make him the bad guy, but that's not the reason I'm saying that.
He's an addicted World Of Warcraft player, and doesn't have know too much about girls
That's even the reason why it didn't work out in the first place.He ignored her to play WoW, he didn't appreciate her and he didn't try to do anything when they were starting to drift apart
They weren't even sexually active that much.

He got fatter lately, and he's not that good looking.She told me she doesn't feel sexually attracted to him, and I believe her not because I want to, but because I know it's the truth.She does NOT sleep with him.He's a whimp.

She still has feelings for him, and still talks to him and meets him sometimes.If he were a smart boy, he could have won her back, but he's too retarded to know what to do.
My problem is that I don't want to leave him this chance anymore.I want to cut it off between them, before he wakes up to reality and realizes he could have her back if he tried a little harder

Look, she is not over him alright? That's the title of your post. If that means they just cuddle or whatever, it does not matter at all. If he was a loser, how come she is still so attached to him and doesn't wanna move on? He can't be that useless...

Excuse me for thinking she does not only talk to him about WOW, but this statement from you "while we were dating, she was still technically with him" does not make me believe she's a great girl. A descent girl breaks up with her boyfriend before she starts dating/cheating/whatever you wanna call it. Of course I am assuming here and it is up to you what to believe, you know the situation better.

But does the advice change, even if she's only confused? Not at all in my books. Move on man, don't give her an ultimatum. She has baggage and she needs to sort out her stuff first.

She probably knows that herself and that's maybe why she does not officially want to be in a relationship with you. How to fix it? Let her know she can contact you when she is ready to be more serious than just fuck buddy style... Because it's about what YOU want, and that is a serious relationship with her.

Thank you man!
That is EXACTLY what I needed to hear
I know what I have to do now

Why would you want to be with some one who only half wants to be with you, I'm sure she is a great girl but at the moment she is the one who is in control, no shit she doesnt wanna go public because
She doesnt want to give up the last bit of hope she has with getting with her ex, you are the one waiting around for her to make a descesion on who she wants to be with.. And trust me this entire situation is not going to work out well for you, I can almost certainly say it won't.. So stop being a little puppy waiting for her and go find somebody who will invest 100% of themselfs to you, instead of being the reserve player.

Forgive me for being so harsh but you need to put your hand down your pants, locate your balls, and start using them!!!!!!!

i'm a hypocrite for saying that because i was the same a few years ago so i know full well the only way you have any hope of getting with this chick (don't know why you'd want to) is dumping her ass without an explanation, just tell her you cant be arsed anymore then go no contact whilst gaming other girls

right now she knows she could literally click her fingers and you will come back, which reeks of low value which is why she still wants her ex

if my gf said she still had feelings for her ex that would be the immediate end of the relationship, i wouldn't text her, return her texts, calls, carrier pigeon messages or anything because i'm too busy trying to get my dick wet which is a win win (she goes mental wondering why you dont give a shit anymore and you get laid)

Yea, I cut any contact with her, and I'm now playing the waiting game
Last night she tried calling me 8 times in a row, but I didn't answer

And I won't talk to her until she wants something serious
(she's actually calling me as I'm writing this)

I keep thinking about her going back to him, so this gives me strength to ignore her
If this doesn't work out either, I'm going to quit trying, and move on

you aren't convincing a girl to be with you. You must somehow become the new alpha in her life. Get your ass in gear and start showing the core principles of being a man. A woman won't think about her ex if you are better than him. So start going to the gym more, hobbies, start doing shit ! I am in your shoes right now and i have decided to fuck my oneitis on the side and game other girls who are ready for an emotional relationship. Keep poking at her barriers and being there but do not become to available or she will put you in her line of potential suitors.

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

You need to take action, stop "playing the waiting game" be proactive and look for new women.

I know what you're trying to do. you're trying to be a 'nice boy' who stands by her waiting for her to see the light and come back to you because you're a good and nice guy. It's not wrong to be a nice guy but it doesn't attract women especially in this situation. You don't understand women and attraction. They're attracted to the guy who is out gaming other women not the one who is playing a "waiting game".

You think: "She's calling right now, that means she wants me." No that means she's calling to make sure her 2nd choice is still supporting her.

The above 3 posts got it right.