Okay i'm new here,

ive been unplugged for over a year. adopted game mostly from shark and roissy.

im 29 and my girl is 26.

backround on girl is shes mostly a good girl, not much for drama and does not seek male attention. id say shes a 6 at best. we have been together for a year with 4 months of her chasing to get me to commit to her.

*ive never beta backslided at all in our relationship id say ive got 80% of the control or more.

*is always kept the golden maxims in my relationship in regards to texting ratio and the like

i recently did a soft next on her that i feel might have backfired, ive done a soft next on her before and it worked wonders had her at my doorstep crying and all that. but this time it seems as if shes uneffected by it. i started the soft next cause she got drunk at a bar while i was out of town and drove home drunk. to me this is unacceptable. i lost 2 friends in the past year over drinking and driving. the first day of the freeze out she text me "i miss you " on Monday and of course i kept my freezeout until late weds. (NOTE: she hasnt tired to contact me at all) that day her father was in the hospital. and i found out. and didnt call/text her i waited a few hours and didnt mention it when i called her. when i called her i acted as if everything was okay. she didnt mention anything about the freezeout and asked me if i could bring her an air mattress for her father to sleep on. i said okay ill be right over. i get there and she was acting SUPER distant. noticed it right away. i asked her if she had anything to say she saiid:

Her: Well do you? cause you have been ignoring me for 3 days.
Me: well i didn't want to talk to you. ive got better things to do then to spend time with someone who doesnt deserve it.
her: you know i had a really bad day and you always want to kick me when im down. (This here is bullshit.)
she started getting ready to cry, and i saw the conversation going in a direction i didnt want it to go.
i said: point the finger at me im the bad guy. and i walked out. cause i was not going to let her get emotional and try to manipulate me.

today she sent me a message saying "happy thanksgiving and that she loved me"
i texted her back and said "i love you too"

i sent her a text 7 hours later asking her is she still misses me and she said "a little" this is not normal. what she would commonly say is "i miss you too" or whatever... so i said id like to see her and she said "ok" and again this is not normal. so at this point im not sure what to do. my inner AFC is telling me i should make an effort here. however the alpha part of me is saying that shes just butthurt and to give her some more time to cool off and have her come to me.

on a side note i feel like i might be lacking rapport. i do love this girl and id like to keep her cause she really takes care of me in ways that no one else has. im talking about the good quality motherly effect that most girls don't have now a days. i.e cook for me all the time. make my bed, do my laundry without me even asking. and she fun witty and has a great sense of humor.

so im here looking someone to point me in the right direction.any insight would be greatful thank you in advanced.

do not call do not text do not reply, act as if she is dead. work out get a haircut focus on yourself, if you try to reach her she knows you miss her so now she can relax and focus on what she wants to do. you do not need this girl she does not understand how lucky she is but you know another one will. even if you dont plan on breaking up with this girl this is the most effective way to react to this situation.

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Live and let live...

Reading between the lines, I get the impression that you regard this relationship as a power struggle, and I don't think that's healthy. For example:

"ive got better things to do then to spend time with someone who doesnt deserve it."
You are angry with her for drunk driving, which is totally understandable and justified. But you don't say that you are angry with her for drunk driving, you say that she does not deserve you. Instead of pointing out unacceptable behavior and telling her why you find it unacceptable, you attack her personally and put her down. I would ask you whether you did this intentionally. If so, is this your goal, making her feel as though she doesn't deserve you? Do you think that is a good basis for a long-lasting relationship? If you did not do this intentionally, e.g. you reacted in anger, I would advise you to think longer about what exactly you are going to say and what impact this may have. Because if a girl ever told me that I do not deserve her, that would be pretty much the end of the relationship for me.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Timo, not the message i was trying to get across at all. and now that i think about it, you make sense here. the point i wanted to get across was "you fucked up. i'm not going to spend time with you cause you fucked up. i have better things to do." that is all.

another thing to consider is i've never really dropped any emotional bombs on her at all. only thing ive said to her was i love her. or "you'll never know how much i love you". she often says i love you more then you love me.

i called her after posted this. and she was in bed sleeping, first thing she said was i thought u were coming over? i told her we had a late thanksgiving and i just got home. we had some small chit chat and we said we missed each other and agreed to hangout today. so this is where i am now.

so at this point i feel i may have been dejecting her too much. and i need to focus on rapport but nice and slowly in an alpha way.

Being in a relationship, especially with someone you classify as a "good girl" for the most part is very different from gaming.

If she does something that bothers you, soft next is not the right response. Honest and direct is the right response. The soft next should come into play if her response to your mature, adult approach to the real issue is recieved poorly by her.

For instance, on the drinking and driving, a serious conversation in which you tell her it bothers you very much that he did this because you lost your friends, and because you care about her and her well being is a good approach to the core issue, which was her drinking and driving. If she recieves this well, she will appreciate your sincerity and how much it means to you, and won't do it again. If she get's defensive, and puts up a fight, THEN this is can be met with a soft next.

From what I've heard, if you care about her and she's a good girl, chances are she'll be receptive to a good approach to problem solving. And if she is not, then the "good girl" status may not be accurate, and you can and should treat her like someone you can be very happy without.

i'm going over to her house today after work. should i just act as if nothing is wrong? or should i have some kind of talk with her? i know relationships are counter intuitive, i want to talk with her and and tell her i care about her and that i may not always do the best thing when it comes to dealing with problems in our relationship.

also if anyone else would like to chime in please do. is really like to hear input from wolf.

Now why would you say that? It sounds like an apology from you, when her drink/drive behaviour caused you being disappointed (which is totally understandable). Sit her down when the time is right and follow vhou812's advice, it's spot on!

Acknowledge only to yourself that you could've handled the situation better and learn from it.