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| Author | Message |
| PlayToWin212 | PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:51 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:18 pm Posts: 38 | | technically I was only ever seeing this girl but it lasted about 6 months. She was SO fucking chilled, cool with me fucking other people, good banter, but i just got bored.
Ive never been an awkward convo kinda guy and usually dont discuss or voice the small feeling of annoyance i get towards girls, or say anything to them when i get the 'ahh fuck, now ive got to text her back feeling' So all that kinda built up and I recently broke it off with a phone call like this (she had the integrity to try to maintain her nonchalant frame through this whole convo which i massively respect)
now hashtag this whole convo with a ridiculously awkward vibe.
Me - 'hey you alright?'
her - 'Two phone calls in one night, aren't i a lucky girl'
(now it/I gets awkward)
Me - 'I know right, listen I'm gonna be blunt, i think I'm gonna have to break this thing off between me and you'
Her - 'Ok thats cool'
Me - 'Im just so busy it doesn't seem fair'
Her - 'Yeah thats cool'
Me - 'Ok...(long pause) (i mean longgggg!)...are you sure?'
Her - 'Yeah'
Me - 'ok cool....(another ridiculous long pause)..well enjoy your ice cream, see ya'
Feelings were there, i man enough to admit that but it was a proactive decision as she was not the right girl for me, and i found myself avoiding texting or calling her so that cant be a good sign.
Although I'm not going back on my decision at all I feel terrible now cause she was such a nice girl and did nothing wrong. And have an urge (which I'm 100% not going to do) to ring her back and try and console her and just try and discuss SOMETHING.
Has anyone every been here before?
experiences you can share?
etc??
Cheers
PlayToWin212
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| User13247 | PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:33 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot | Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:08 am Posts: 415 | | I think you did it quite well in some respects, you were decisive and to the point. However, I think you shouldn't have broken up over the phone. Breaking up without face-to-face contact made it hard to judge whether she was really cool with it or just sad and quiet. Also, you could have hugged or kissed her goodbye if you were in physical proximity.
As for advice on how to continue, it depends on what you want from her. You say you got bored with her, and why would you want to talk to a boring person? I think your urge to contact her stems from guilt about making her sad. This feeling of compassion is good and natural, but you should realize that: a) she may not be sad at all, in which case your guilt is misplaced; and b) if she actually is sad, contacting her may only serve to make her feel worse. _________________ One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.
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| vhou812 | PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:26 pm | |
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm Posts: 587 | | I tend to think after reading this that she really was cool with it, and you are the one struggling a bit.
It sounds like normal withdrawal to me. Even though she wasn't THE ONE for you, if you had feelings for her and thought she was cool, it's normal to miss her a little bit. You'll get over it, and so will she, and you both will be fine.
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