After a 8 month relationship me and my ex split up, we went into a long distance relationship, and i am in my second year in university, so it just fell apart, her nan who she was close to died, and a few days after she split up with me, (although weeks before i was close to splitting up with her, due to me making more effort than she was).

The break up went alright, as the relationship was becoming like a strain and i can't say i am feeling oneitus, being at university, i have plenty of females around me, and there is plenty more fish in the sea ha ha. But i am just wondering whether or not i should say happy birthday to her next week by texting her, or ask how she is. I don't particularly want to be friends with her, but at the same time i would like to see how she is doing, and i don't know what the rules are regarding this. Its been a month now, and she hasn't established contact with me, and i haven't been tempted to.
however i see many other people have light communication with exes, and i was wondering if this was healthier.

There are no rules man, not in a relationship. Do what you feel is right...

My advice is if you are only contacting her in hopes of getting back with her then don't, go live your life and if she contact you sometime down the road then great but don't go down that road unless you genuinely know she wants to get back with you and she is worth it, at which point take it slow!!!! and be smart.

If you are over her and just want to be friends then go for it!

To many people want to live life by the books, they want guide lines, and sometimes you just have to ignore the "rules" and use instinct and common sens. Yes there are general rules but at the end of the day only you know whats best for you...

If you have one bit of curiosity what is going on, in her life you aperhaps still have feelings for her.

My advice would be polite and sent her the txt just, telling happy b day... and nothing else since you guys break off on a good way, there isnt a reason why you shouldnt at least tell her on b day... other communications are pushing a little too much.

_________________
Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

Yeah that is right, its just it was my first relationship. I only miss her a bit, but overall I'm happier being single and i know its the right thing. It ended well, so i don't want to agitate anything further.
I have a close female friend and it feels like I'm in a relationship with her anyway, and the whole PUA values made it easy for me to not get stuck with oneitus.

Hey man, it's her birthday. She wouldn't mind exchanging hello's on that day.

It's cool to ask her how she was..

If she's not trying to contact you, whatsoever, she's the type of girl who can deal with it.