Sorry for the late reply to this thread bros...its been a busy few days.

Firstly thank you for the many replies, there is some very very useful stuff in here, and a lot I probably already knew deep down.

Post argument...

We went for a meal the next night, I apologized and tried to explain how I bet she felt etc. She suggested that we should stop going out together on nights out as this kind of stunt is crappy.

In truth I have pulled this stunt twice before since May. Each time you could say its gotten a bit more severe. I really need to ask myself why the hell I have acted as I have... this isn't wishful thinking when I say she is a great girl and NEVER gives me reason to feel insecure about other guys.

She is the kind of person who simply loves to make friends with people be they male female fat skinny short tall...you get the idea.

I promised her this shit will never happen again, and that if it did then yes - no more mutual nights out. I then affirmed my promise by saying actions will speak louder than me simply promising not to be a douche in future.

Now here, after a few days introspection, I think I have got closer to WHY I act(ed) so jelous/insecure....


My last relationship ended in her cheating on me (full sex). She had cheated before that through kissing and I forgave her (off topic but dudes - Never ever forgive ha).

...although she was a bitch to fuck someone guess how it all panned out? I was getting amog'd off a group of dudes who clearly were trying to hit on her...I reacted very badly towards her, we have a massive fight and I storm off.

She was fucking one of the dudes 4 hours later.

I think this may be my reason for being so spooked when a guy approached my GF now...it can't be that I dont trust her - although we go out a lot together, we got out separately plenty of times and I never ever worry what shes up to.

So even though my GF is 1000 x a better person than my last GF (daddy issues to the hilt)...I need to figure out how I block this kind of shit out of my mind and keep a good frame.

...And I don't know where to start with that

I like the sound of this Snarg. I feel if I am in a set with my GF that is then opened by some dude(s) I then sort of get self conscious that if I try to amog or put too much into the coversation I will either:

A) leave myself open to being ignored or amog'd back by one of the dudes
B) By amog'ing or by getting too invested in the conversation, I will show to my friends and GF that this dude(s) has made me uncomfortable and thus hand him the initiative.


By the way, I realise that my concerns regarding B) are pretty rich considering I let it be known I was uncomfortable and then some in the original post!

The best thing to do if/when you are anywhere with your girlfriend and a guy approaches her to to use your girlfriend as a pivot to become friends with the dude. I know this is sort of a play on AMOGing but I'm just describing it differently.

I've never had a girl cheat on me, and its because I always use my girlfriend as an excuse to increase my circle of buddies. You have to legitimately want to make friends with anybody, get it? I've also doubled my number of friends in the past year or so. Made some good ones, too... and I met many of them when they tried to hit on my girlfriend.

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- Lux et Veritas -

It sounds like you figured it out and alcohol makes us do stupid things. I am going through a situation myself, I posted it, but yes, aclohol was totally the cause, but I do know why what happened...I am hoping she forgives me, I screwed up pretty bad, but our situation is dicey. Anyway, it sounds like you have a good chick, hold on to her....I'm an older guy and starting to see now, ironically, that drinking and gfs tend not to mix too well. Mine really like to drink too (assuming we're still bf/gf)

JP

This.

I cannot stand going clubbing with a girl I am dating, you can't really let loose and enjoy yourself the way you can when you're single and out with mates. Virtually every decision you make whilst drunk is a bad one, and when you're making decisions around your girl and your emotions are heightened and exaggerated it is just a disaster every time.

So the introspection and discovery that perhaps you're being an Ahole to her because of insecurity from your past is interesting.

I say you tell her that you've given it some thought, and you think you know why you do it, and that instead of just not doing something that maybe you both enjoy, you want her to help you get over all of it and become the guy who really isn't threatened by it, instead of going from being the guy who is insecure about it when out clubbing to being the guy who doesn't go out clubbing and is insecure because you have no clue what she's doing drinking, getting drunk, having fun, etc.

Just a thought.