Breaking Up



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thetransformation
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:28 pm 
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The OP handled the breakup well. I now realize I handled my previous relationship on a somewhat bad note. Sometimes it is situational where it is very hard to control your state of mind (as a guy). In my situation, I let my engaged fiancee's interest level drop and she allowed herself to wander and put herself in situations where it is was easier for her to fall for someone else. Other guys took the cue and took advantage of this. I became a passive aggressive monster..

I have something to learn from this for sure..
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Rusty8t8
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:26 pm 
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You did amazing in the response. It doesn't matter about the facebook thing, just remove the comment asap.

LISTEN CLOSELY. Now give it 3-4 weeks of no/little contact. Do things which you enjoy, spent as little time as you can thinking of her. If she speaks to you, be civil and nice. But do not push anything. In one month ish, suggest you meet in person. . In the meanwhile, she may call you, especially the good way you ended it. If you meet, make sure you are happy and make her feel good. Show her your cool and will live your life without her, even if it is killing you at the moment. If it is meant to be, she will come back to you.

Why do I know? Experience, very recently.
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jack12
 Post subject: black love
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:17 am 
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Sometimes relationships plays an important role to improve your life.If you are honest with the other person the relations will go for a long.But sometimes the relations breaks up because of a little understanding which is a part of black love.You have to sort out your misunderstandings with the other person so that you can save your relationship in future.
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A-team
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:27 pm 
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My Girlfriend of two months broke up with me saying how she has been acting very rude to me lately and she does not know what is going on with and how I deserve better than her. I was actually on this thread when i read that so I thought instead of me being needy and try to kneel down to her, I replied with "okay" . I thought it was funny as well, kind of like a comic relieve haha ;)

I think she was expecting me to fight for us or try to keep her with me. Have not talked to her since that night ( been 3 nights). Yesterday she was online on FB and i posted a status about partying it up that night and having fun. Soon after she deleted her account lol.

I have a feeling that she still likes me but was confused and wanted me to show more affection and keep our relationship strong? I would like to get back with her obviously however I am a strong guy and can go on either way. I think its always worth a try as you never know what may happen?

Question: What should i do? Should i contact her saying to try to talk it out?
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MickCoffee
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:26 am 
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Quote:
My Girlfriend of two months broke up with me saying how she has been acting very rude to me lately and she does not know what is going on with and how I deserve better than her. I was actually on this thread when i read that so I thought instead of me being needy and try to kneel down to her, I replied with "okay" . I thought it was funny as well, kind of like a comic relieve haha ;)

I think she was expecting me to fight for us or try to keep her with me. Have not talked to her since that night ( been 3 nights). Yesterday she was online on FB and i posted a status about partying it up that night and having fun. Soon after she deleted her account lol.

I have a feeling that she still likes me but was confused and wanted me to show more affection and keep our relationship strong? I would like to get back with her obviously however I am a strong guy and can go on either way. I think its always worth a try as you never know what may happen?

Question: What should i do? Should i contact her saying to try to talk it out?
Hey A-Team, to answer your question you should acknowledge that she initiated the breakup and assume that in her perception, it's over. These things happen and it's important not to lose control with the way we handle these situations. Kudos for staying in control btw, very well done.

My honest advice, let it go. If you're curious about why she thought that you deserved better then ask her but make sure she understands that you understand that it's over.

Seek wisdom from your emotions, ask what it is that uncomfortable feeling wants you to do. At first, you will assume to get back from her but after further attention you'll realise that they'll be wanting you to move on.

All the best!
Coffee.

_________________
"At the end of the day these are women's lives we're dealing with, not mere entertainment."

"We are what we repeatedly do. excellence therefore is a habit and not an act."
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A-team
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 2:15 am 
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Thanks Coffee! I do want to know the reason, one for just for the hell of finding out and second to see if i maybe did something that I could prevent from happening again. I will see if see tries to contact me if not i will contact her in couple of days!

Thanks!
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Kaher
 Post subject: Re: Breaking Up
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:21 pm 
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Quote:
Hey guys. I broke up with my recent girlfriend today on very good grounds, thought I'd transcript the break up here. Some men find it hard to keep control in this area of the relationship.

And also, yes I am feeling a little down by it and I'm using this as a productive way of venting out my emotions. Better than what some other men do.

Kay: "We need to talk.."
Me: "Ok.. lets talk."
Kay: "I've not been so sure about how I feel about our relationship. *continues to proceed how she's been feeling messed up in the head - good reasons*
*stopping her mid-sentence, put my arms around her* "Listen, no matter what has happened in my life I have always ended up finding happiness. Whether we should stop seeing each other or not I will be happy with the decision. Are you sure this is what you think we should do?"
Kay: *looks at me, opens her mouth (obviously surprised witth what I said)* "yes, I don't think this is going to work out*
Me: *Smile* "Ok I understand." *Kiss on the lips* "Cmon, you can walk me out."

We walked down stairs to the door. I opened the door.. she said "Mick.." I turned round. "Don't be a stranger?" "Same to you." and walked home.

Have to say, I feel slightly better.
I really cant understand how you succeed in this, we all know this is exactly how we have to behave when the relationship becomes bad, but man, that's so hard to accept the relationship is over ...
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madtiger
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:34 pm 
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Keep it same way 8)
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MickCoffee
 Post subject: Re: Breaking Up
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:48 pm 
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Location: Scotland
Quote:
Quote:
Hey guys. I broke up with my recent girlfriend today on very good grounds, thought I'd transcript the break up here. Some men find it hard to keep control in this area of the relationship.

And also, yes I am feeling a little down by it and I'm using this as a productive way of venting out my emotions. Better than what some other men do.

Kay: "We need to talk.."
Me: "Ok.. lets talk."
Kay: "I've not been so sure about how I feel about our relationship. *continues to proceed how she's been feeling messed up in the head - good reasons*
*stopping her mid-sentence, put my arms around her* "Listen, no matter what has happened in my life I have always ended up finding happiness. Whether we should stop seeing each other or not I will be happy with the decision. Are you sure this is what you think we should do?"
Kay: *looks at me, opens her mouth (obviously surprised witth what I said)* "yes, I don't think this is going to work out*
Me: *Smile* "Ok I understand." *Kiss on the lips* "Cmon, you can walk me out."

We walked down stairs to the door. I opened the door.. she said "Mick.." I turned round. "Don't be a stranger?" "Same to you." and walked home.

Have to say, I feel slightly better.
I really cant understand how you succeed in this, we all know this is exactly how we have to behave when the relationship becomes bad, but man, that's so hard to accept the relationship is over ...
I'm absolutely psyched that after a year this post still exists and is still very ongoing.

Kaher: Yeah I won't lie it was very hard for me at the time. I liked her, she was a very cool gaming girl who I jumped into a relationship with too fast. I blame myself for everything that happened to me in that relationship and I also am very proud in the way I handled the breakup.

Don't let your emotions undervalue your self-respect. Always be an effective leader even if that means facing your fears: lead into the relationship, through the relationship and out of the relationship.

_________________
"At the end of the day these are women's lives we're dealing with, not mere entertainment."

"We are what we repeatedly do. excellence therefore is a habit and not an act."
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Houtty
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:39 pm 
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I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year about 2 months ago.

and it's almost a month of NC. only except on her birthday i dropped her a text wishing her happy birthday.

Somehow from a mutual friend of ours(mich), mich keeps insisting me to give my ex a call. i dont know why.

Part of me wants her back but i'm kinda enjoying my single life, knowing new girls and doing things i want to do.

But if i do get her back, i'll probably wont make the mistake i did.

Should i drop her a text or call asking how has she been?

p.s she still has some stuff of hers in my room.

_________________
"Dude she has a boyfriend"
" Yeah so?...Soccer has a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score."
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Rough Operator
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:51 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:32 am
Posts: 960
Location: England
I recently broke up with someone, we just realised that we weren't all that compatible and it was too long distance. I handled it pretty well, admittedly there were some sad moments and I allowed myself a few private tears and I think I even sent some stupid drunk emotional texts.

But when I could see myself possibly going into a downward spiral I just messaged her and said I just needed to take some time out and get some space before I could really speak to her again as a friend. It is as close as I have come to a clean, amicable break up :D
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mother_fucker_2000
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:38 am 
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In case anyone's suffering from breakup this helps [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-pzefexjQ8[/youtube]
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