Communication problems



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 Post subject: Communication problems
PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 5:35 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:12 am
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Hi, I've been with my girl for over 11 months now.
She is the sweetest girl in the world.

When we are toghetor we are just perfect.
Best sex in the world, 30+ orgasms for over 3hours & sometimes a 30minute aggressive quicky. We have the best chats, do the most stupid shit toghetor, it's a neverending high.

BUT..

She lives a few hours away and we don't see eachother very often. Like once a week, sometimes every 2weeks.

We never were really good at calling / texting etc. But I talked about it because I felt like in comparison to other succesfull couples we didn't even communicate 5% of what they did ( only when we are apart btw )and I tried to make an effort, so from then on I carried my phone with me at all times so I could text her and that way it didn't take me 4 days to answer a simple text.

She however never changed. She's exactly the same. She sucks at texting & also, she doesn't do it on purpose.. no, she just doesn't realise.

When we, for instance, both go out. I will send her a text at night just to let her know I had a good time and that i'm about to tuck in. Just so she would be at ease.
Any normal person would reply back, " oh yeah, i'm about ot tuck in too, glad u had a good time blablabla" or if she got back earlier and tucked in before me she could at least let me know the next morning. But nahhh, she doesn't get that. 48hours just silence..
Also when I ask her to text me when she arrives home safely after a 5hour drive she just forgets.

When we are apart the communication sux ass, seriously.. I'm more in touch with a friend I haven't seen for years then I am with my girlfriend.

I had a talk with her about how important good communication is a few days ago & that it's necessairy we fix this before we are apart for 6 months.
She texted me good for 1day & then it went back to before.

I haven't whined about it either, I just said that if we don't communicate well when we are apart for so long there is no way for this relationship to survive.

So what to do? SHe just doesn't GET certain things. She does text me every like 3days to ask how i'm doing but the small things she just doesn't get.
She drives 5hours to my place before even letting me know she's comming because she vaguely told a friend of mine she knows that she might be comming that day.

I mean seriously, out of ALL the woman I've ever dated, she is the only one that is so crazy about me and so crap at communicating at the same time.
And trust me, she is crazy about me. She loves me massively & I know for a fact she is not cheating on me. SO none of that bullcrap :p

Thanks for reading through this,

Advice would be much appreciated.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:20 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:41 am
Posts: 1193
Seems odd that you guys are so "close" and yet you don't talk at least every couple days. I would have a serious talk with her about were the relationship is going, and what you both need from each other, ask her what she needs from you ect....tell her you would like to talk to her more often.

The thing is if she tells you she see this relationship at some point developing into something more then she should have no problem talking to you more often, if she does or if she thinks your needy then is this really the girl you want to be with any way? seems odd to me that she wouldn't talk to you got almost at week at a time?

I am of the mind set that if something is bothering you then it needs to be communicated! and I don't think its out of the ordinary to want to talk to your gf more then once or twice a week lol

You both need to sit down and have a long talk about what you want in a relationship, in a partner, and what you need from each other....out side of sex perhaps you are not meant for each other? or perhaps you are but you will never know unless you sit down and talk about it. Perhaps to you communication on a daily basis is important while to her it is not, this could cause problems in your relationship, there also might be other issues that need to be shorted out.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:42 pm
Posts: 30
Location: Right by da beach, CA
It would seem your assessment of your relationship it incorrect. Living with your GF or being around them a lot is a real relationship, this just sounds like a pin pal you fuck. Communication is one of the, if not the, most important things in a relationship. If she cannot communicate with you on a basic level of a text message, maybe you guys arent in the relationship you think you are in.
Just think hard about where your relationship is and where you want it to be, if you cant get it to a good place then why stay in it?


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