I had this weird, sex with my ex. But in the end it proved an invaluable PUA lesson. I would like to sharethat with you.

april.

I break up with my LTR. We were still very attracted to each other, but I didnt have the time anymore and she had crazy expectations.

We decided tot stay friends and I would still help her out with some stuff concerning some legal and insurance stuff that she cant deal with herself. She always said that after a breakup its best not to see each other anymore, but she needed me.

Everytime we were on the phone or I was at her place, I would start joking that I expected sex as a favour in return of the things I did for her. But I would always do this from a strong frame, and be as little needy as possible.

Do bear in mind... I only spoke... I never made an actual physical move. Now this is tricky. Because you are used to cuddling, fucking, making out and whatever, but now you have to completely stop. So just give her a kiss on the cheek an not toch her or stare her down... nothing! But talking about it is ok (in an extremely CF way)... its like reversed pickup.

Now after a couple of weeks, she called me saying she felt so alone and she just wanted to cuddle with and be together for a night. I said no because I would just be frustrated because I cant fuck her. She understood, and we didnt do it.

1st action:

Her move. I helped her with some company on the phone, and as soon as I hung up and had some good news for her, she jumped up to me to hug me. But instead she started making out like crazy. Later she blamed it on me. Saying I was the one who started kissing, but that was BS. Stupidly I tried to move it to the bed, but their she started giving me this whole lecture about having sex after the relationship is wrong.

2nd action.

Her move againg. Midway through may, she texts me with a request, and I call her to explain I am busy. She totally went beserk and sent me some nasty text. I froze her out.

3d action

Her move once more. Please note that you have to be extremely calm and not look for the interaction. If the ex ever suspects that you regret breaking up, you are doomed!
she calls me and is in tears. She says she does not want me to remember her as a bitch and that we should talk. I explained to her it was no big deal and I forgave her. I said I had to work early the next day and her house would be en route, so maybe a sleepover would be most efficient. (so I reffered to her proposal 1,5 months earlier). She stated clearly that it was okay, but that she didnt want to have sex. I said sure: no problem.

4th action.

My move: I didnt know what to expect, and I didnt really expect things would go all the way. But as soon as I saw her. Our bodies just exploded. We were making out, talking romantically, and as soon as we went to the bed. We couldnt stop it. Only 2 seconds b4 I started penetration did she softly moan something about not going to have sex. But thats all the LMR I got. It was about 1 hour of foreplay and fun. And a millisecond of LMR, wich completely surprised me in retrospect.

We made love like crazy and she was definitely needing it badly. The next morning she even woke me up for it before the alarm clock went off. haha.

5th action.

My move: bad move: I tried to turn this into a FB situation. But I was also ambushed by feelings of love. I said we deserved a weekend in a hotel and that we should do that. Also I stated that these things are not to be interpreted as a new chance for a relationship. It is just sex.

Later she called me up off course, full with buyers remorse. All deals were off again. But no more bitching or whatsoever. Everything was fine, LJBF... But later she explained that it was really humiliating for her when I clearly stated that it was just going to be sex. Maybe I went wrong there? Who knows. Well at least this was very weird, but I learned that if you lean back, you can virtually achieve anything with women, as long as they are attracted.

Please let me know how you think about this guys, what did I do wrong and what did I do right, and how do you manage expectations?

Love to hear.

Greetz

Buccaneer

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

Well me and my gf just broke up. But we are still attracted to each other. She said LJBF i said no, that i couldn't be just a friend because of the attraction i had to her, and that i wouldn't be able to handle being with her and not being able to touch her. So I left and froze her out for a day. Next day she told me she wanted me back, but didn't want a relationship. I was cool with that so we're kinda fuck buddies now.
My opinion is that probably shouldn't have been doing favors for her, since she clearly stated she didn't want sex. You should have completely cut communication. In your case, like mine, both of you are still attracted to each other, but she wasn't cool with you touching her. At that point I say move on and don't think about her in terms of sex. You shouldn't have had sex with her.

Imagine how much different this situation could have turned out if you hadn't pushed to redefine your relationship with this girl immediately after sleeping with her again. The lesson here is to know when to shut up, something I have posted about extensively in the past. There's really never any reason to define any relationship until the woman involved in said relationship brings it up.

As men, we have an innate tendency to push for the 'contract,' or to try and close the 'deal,' which is helpful in business transactions but a terrible idea when it comes to our romantic involvements. The better path - the more fruitful path - involves relaxing, letting things be whatever they are, and swimming in whatever uncertainties life throws at you.

Meanwhile, instead of telling her what you want your relationship to become, start treating it like what you want it to become. You'll be amazed how quickly it will transform into exactly that.

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

It's a lot of work for something you've experienced to the max already, don't you think? It sounds like this girl likes you a lot. You sure you're not just sticking around for validation?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

yes I am interested too??

Off course I want to be validated. Is that so wrong???

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson