Dear Members,

I truly never thought I would put myself in such a messed up situation. The problem is as follows, me and my x broke up 8 months ago ( together for 2.5 years) . But we would meet up, here and there a lot of fighting etc... and in the past 2 months things have calmed down, we meet up sometimes not often, things are smooth we sleep with one another etc... she has not kissed or gone with anyone (or so she says, and I do believe her) in those 8 months.

However I have slept with a few... she doesn't know this.. and it would destroy her if it did... however things have been going really smoothly with her and she been quite sweet caring etc. Very different to what I was used to with her.. it like spending 8 months apart started us from afresh... not convinced though, we used to fight like mad.

The other part is that there is another girl, she's is no where near as good looking as my x ( my x is a HB9 - 10). But we speak on the phone a lot have tons in common and get along like crazy, when she comes over we never sleep we enjoy each others company, however she won't let me sleep with her in any way shape or form ( she says, she won't sleep with anyone until she's in a relationship). and she tries to control the situation, but not I'm freezing her and taking it over extremely quickly.

However I know that once my x is done from her exams she will want to be back completely... and i know that at the same time the new girl and me with some friends are going to a nearby island to spend a long weekend, i know things will take off from here...

So im screwed and wish that one of them would just end it with me.. i don't care which, Its just trying to make the choice is driving me crazy... do you guys have any suggestions... I'm truly, truly lost.

Take control and pick one, it'll be hard but it needs to be done.

Is it the Ex girlfriend's idea for you two not to be together until after exams or yours?

Thank you for your reply,

Its is no ones idea, I just know that by the way things are going... its going to be that way.. Ive had sleepless nights over this trying to choose....

Im scared of losing my x, because I'm still madly attracted to her, and she has her good points.. although we don't have that much in common.. but that seems to be constantly changing.

Im scared of losing the other one because we have so much in common and we get al ong so well.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

It'll be hard, but it's obvious what you have to do; make a choice. Choose your ex and forget this girl/don't be intimate with her or forget your ex and do what you want with this girl/any other girl.

It's a simple as that.

Good luck.

That's pretty much your choice unless you find a way to merge both these women in to your one perfect woman (probably not gonna happen). Sounds like you're looking for a relationship however this goes, so choose who you thing will make you happiest over the long run...and don't cheat on them with the other one in a couple months time!

I had a similar 'problem' last summer. I chose the new girl and cut the ex off. At times I wanted to go and see my ex but I stuck to my decision. You are either one foot in or one foot out. It's not fair on the new girl to be hedging your bets. If you are not ready for the new girl you need to let her know. This will only get harder as time goes on and you get more involved.

In my case it didn't work with the new girl and my ex ended up happily in a new relationship. I was annoyed as I felt I lost both girls. But I am proud to of acted like a man and stuck to a single choice. I know I gave it my best shot and I learnt so much from the experience. I have no regrets because the past year has been filled with experiences with the second girl which I wouldn't of given up for anything.

My advice; take some time to yourself, think it through, make a decision, and stick to it. Don't fuck either girl around. Be honest and open with everyone involved (to the point of letting the new girl you are still getting over an ex - in my experience this brought respect and trust).