I have several girls I'm seeing and f-ing (thanks in good part to PUA community advice!) and now my #1 problem is simply time management: how to deal with who to see when, and questions like

"What did you do last weekend?"

"Are you seeing (/fucking) other girls?"

"How do I know you don't say the things you say to me to the other girls?"

"It's me or them" / the Exclusivity Ultimatum

I haven't false promised exclusivity with anyone, but with most of the girls, I haven't explicitly said, "Yeah, I'm screwing other girls."

There is one girl with whom I've managed to secure explicit one sided exclusivity (she knows I fuck other girls but she says she doesn't want to fuck other girls, and she knows I'll drop her if she does), but she's always sending long emotional emails about it. With the other girls, it hasn't explicitly come up yet - but I'm sure it will.

I've heard the usual PUA advice is to be honest and just straight up say you are doing stuff with other girls. I can see the advantages (preselection, easier to keep track of, appears and is more honest and dominant and alpha than skulking around / 'cheating').

But any contrary thoughts, as well as more specific advice, anecdotes, other people's strategies, would be really helpful.

You could start by identifying what kind of relationships you have with those girls? assuming that non of them are a LTR, so it's either FB's or MLTR.

Read this, it's gold.

http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... rules.html

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Start taking matters into your own hands, don't get lost, seriously, it's like financial management, categorize needs and all.

If you're "treat" the girl like she's the only one, she will build hopes on that, and she will nag you about it, it's not just about "being honest, and using words for it" unless she opens that exact subject up.

but hey this is just advise, you do whatever you want. best of luck.[/code]

The harem drive is natural. Women are supposed to share one guy, the one they perceive to be the most Alpha within their vicinity. Alpha males are supposed to fuck multiple women. Beta males are supposed to touch themselves. People forget that monogamy is a fairly new and artificial social construction. One-sided exclusivity isn't that big of a deal, nor is it unnatural. If a girl fucks another guy, the baby is still hers but her original partner loses out. If a guy fucks another girl, the baby in his pregnant wife isn't going to magically transfer into the new girl. Biologically, what you're doing is perfectly normal. It's everyone else who's married or in monogamous relationships that's crazy. Jus sayin'

You don't need to be honest, nor do the girls want you to be "honest." They just pretend they do because that's how they've been conditioned to react to the guys banging them. If you blatantly tell a girl "I'm banging other girls," you make her feel like a slut. And no girl wants to feel like a slut. Even if you're banging other girls, she wants you to subtly manage it so that she doesn't have to hear about it, and can keep getting fucked by you while avoiding the slut label. Nor does she want you to be dishonest - she just wants you to perfectly weave in between honesty and dishonesty. The realm of blissful ignorance.

To demonstrate, this is the routine I normally use:

She asks: "what were you doing last weekend?"
You reply: "Just out and about"
Her: "So you were with another girl?"
You: "What? Why would that even matter?"
Her: "just tell me if you were or weren't"
You: "I've already gone through heartbreak once, I'm not jumping into anything exclusive again. And I thought you were different? Please don't be like every other girl out there, I need someone like you in my life."

Amp it up with emotional turbulence, but avoid the question. You don't want to come off as a player who's hitting and splitting, you can't make a girl feel like a slut. You need to be the Don Juan who dates multiple women because he's looking for the PERFECT one. You want to be the guy who's spinning 5 plates because you're looking for "true love" and still haven't found it. And when women perceive you as THAT, they will be perfectly okay with joining your harem in an effort to finally attain an exclusivity clause because they WANT to be the 1 in 10,000 of girls you're looking for. They WANT to compete with other women and show you they're of higher quality than everyone else.

As for maintaining your relationship with them while avoiding an "official" relationship; find an excuse. I typically use "I've been heart broken once, I don't believe in love anymore," that always makes the pussy tingle.

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

The last one yes but I don't like the previous avoidance tactics. After having sex with them once or twice you make it clear that you don't do monogamy and you won't be exclusive anytime soon. If they want exclusivity they will have to go elsewhere. Don't string them along (more below). If they want you they will have to play by your rules.

The ultimate tool in harem management is nexting (soft and hard). If they create drama, play games to get you to go exclusive, soft next them. I would for instance
soft next your 'one sided exclusive girl' for creating drama with these emotional emails. Once they realise you are serious and that they can't change you they will either accept or go elsewhere. Not every girl will be down with it. The ones that are will appreciate you consistency, openness, and honesty. Note a lot of poly arrangements are temporary. Fuck buddies for instance tend to fade out over time.

If you are serious about going poly and don't want a monogamous relationship in the near future e.g. the next couple of years, then please don't act like they can be the one to change you. They need to know you won't change your stance. Otherwise it's very unfair on the girl and leads to broken hearts (remember leave them better than you found them). Reading other's posts pua-zone.com http://www.pua-zone.com/ has a brilliant poly forum, girls will often leave when you deny them exclusivity, but occasionally come back after going out with a beta AFC for 6 months. Makes you think. It also seems young girls e.g. 18 and 19, who are in the height of sleeping around are the most open to a poly arrangement.