Met this girl in HK at a bar. I'm HK American, the girl's American. We both live in California. This all happened in HK.

Picked her up from a bar, had a great first night. No sex but kissed, etc.

Texted her and had a second date, made out, etc.

3rd date, i went over to her hotel and went to 2nd base.

4th date, we moved into the same hotel room and we spent 3 days fucking each other's brains out. We really hit it off given all this happened in the space of about a week and a half. Spent heaps of time going around and siteseeing together, etc.

I've usually been the one initiating contact but she's always responded with enthusiasm, and was the one who asked to move to a hotel room together.

After she's gone back to cali, she's not really made any contact with me. (i'm still in HK for another 2 weeks) I left her alone for 3 days then called her. She was pretty happy to hear from me, etc. but she didn't contact me other than initially message me saying she arrived back home.

Anyway, I'm really into this girl and totally want to take it to the next level. I don't want to sleep around given that i'm fairly certain she'd get upset and i'd screw it up. But it sounds like i might also screw it up by being too forward. She's totally involved with her work and is really busy at the moment hence the reason why she hasn't initiated much contact with me.

i know the move is to play it cool and let her do the talking. also she really is quite busy (working long hours, etc). but i'm also afraid that it's one of those "holiday fling" things where girls love to go overseas, get sleazy, then leave and forget the matter.

anyway, any advice? kinda know what i need to do but really want some 3rd party perspective on this matter.

You're approaching this entire thing the wrong way, you need to change your perspective on this matter.

You're afraid to lose her? What kind of mentality is that? You have some knowledge over game, how do you forget its foundation? Fear is paralyzing, fear is debilitating, it's venomous to love. To keep a girl, you MUST not be afraid of losing her. Oneitis, an insecure frame, beta backsliding, all of these feed off of your fears. Confidence is born of being fearless.

Passive pussy behavior is a direct consequence of thinking that a girl will LIKE YOU MORE if you convey some type of misplaced loyalty to her. Women want men that OTHER WOMEN WANT TO FUCK. The idea that you need to stop sleeping with other women to get her to like you more could be nothing further from the truth. It only shows her that you're a preselected male and that she can fuck you too. The crowning irony is of course the fact that women themselves propagate this idea; but that's only to reinforce their own priorities in a relationship. A girl WANTS to have to WORK for your exclusive loyalty, if it is HANDED TO HER on a platter, she will resent you for it. How do you expect to establish challenge if YOU'RE the one trying to show her "look, I'm not screwing up."

ALWAYS JUDGE ONLY BY INTEREST LEVEL. You're falling for the same trap every guy does before the get LJBFed. They make excuses for a girl's low interest level - she's busy, she has work, etc. All of that is ego assuaging bullshit. If a girl is attracted to you enough, anxious that she might lose you, wants to see you and make love to you; you think work or school is going to stop her?

As a corollary to this rule; if she's not showing enough initiative that means ATTRACTION in a relationship is lacking, not RAPPORT. By showing her you're committed and doing all these things to prove your loyalty to her; what do you think you are increasing? Rapport, NOT attraction. Switch your focus. What makes a girl LIKE you more? Gifts & musings of love, or solid game, jealousy, passing shit tests, and a strong frame?

The reason she's not showing initiative is because she's not very interested in you right now. I suspect that your desperation has bled out, and women can SMELL that shit. Only with an irrational overconfidence do you have any chance of winning her back. You might have clicked in the beginning, but her attraction for you is rapidly decaying. Fix it now by reverting back to the Alpha that is you.

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Matty Sorry But as I read your story I can say that the Girl is really not into you. Don't be so Harsh to your self thinking everyday about her. if she like you maybe she will at least do this

she'll call you back

Also, don’t waste another minute wondering why she hasn’t called. And, I think you’re giving her too much credit.

My advice? Go run (when you’re feeling better.) Meet up with other girls for happy hour. Go on another date. If it’s meant to be, she’ll call. Being an active and interesting person is way more attractive than letting some silly girl make you feel bad.

_________________
Read this Blog http://www.myadultdatingblog.com

I wouldn't look too much into it. Enjoy your vacation. Some people have different approaches to texting. I know a friend of mine was concerned that his girlfriend was not talking to him while he was on vacation, but she simply explained that she wanted him to enjoy his time, not spend it talking to her.

Judging by interest level seems fine in theory, but in practice deciphering a girls interest level is damn hard when their are so many signals to get mixed up on. She slept with you, and she didn't ignore you once her vacation was over. Those are two really positive signals that should be enough for you to be confident that she likes you.

If she doesn't talk to you at all for the rest of your vacation, that's fine. You have her number, so you can re-open her and you should have tons of DHV stories to talk about when you meet up in California.

Enjoy yourself, she won't ever know all the sleazy things you get up to unless you choose to tell her.

you guys are f***ing right. not sure what happened to me. one minute i was getting called by models and shit and next i'm being a total pussy.

ok, gonna hit the town tonight and live my life again. woo! it's feelin good already.

Glad to see you saw the error in your ways and realized there was nothing to fear from the beginning.

You had a good time, and like all good things, it must eventually come to an end. It sounds like you understand that now and can look back on this as a good memory, and maybe even a story to tell to your future son.

_________________
Pretty little girls, so used to getting your way. Along comes a man who challenges you, and suddenly you don't know what to say.

I'm not sure what happened the last couple of days. Maybe the extensive lovemaking beforehand. Or the fact that many of my friends have returned home and I'm stuck here exploring the city on my own.

Anyway, I'm over it. I thought she was "different" and all but as you've pointed out, she's another girl and they have the same buttons.

Next time she emails me i'm just gonna blow her off, and put the ball in her court.

I've been in similar situation but keep this in mind:

The more you start focusing on not screwing up with this girl, the higher you put her value and the more you start acting like she's worth so much more than you.

I always need to tell myself to simply have a great time and enjoy the moments.

And what's most important. Keep in mind that your thoughts (if you're having them for a longer period of time) will create your future!!!

This means, your brain is not going to decide if this is good or bad. It's simply going to get focused on the term 'losing her'...

some excellent advice guys. i can't believe how much i was worrying about it.

went out last night, # closed a couple girls. life is good again =)

Another happy end, haha!

yep =)

totally blew her off and she's texting me now. girls are ALL the same.