This whole page, down until you see bold words again, is just a summary of my relationship with this girl. Feel free to skim through it without reading carefully, but this would really help you to give me the proper advice on the situation.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 9 months as far as the "girlfriend" title goes. But technically we've been together for over a year. By this I mean that I dropped most of the girls that I was talking to, and everybody around us already knew what was up. I hesitated to make it official.
Let me explain, I'm a year older than her, I'm 18. Freshman in college, I'm going to a community college right now that doesn't offer on campus housing so I still live with my mom and don't attempt to talk to girls on campus. I hesitated to make it official because I was a senior in high school at the time, she was a junior. I moved out here for my senior year (to another state) and planned on moving back so I kept telling her that I was leaving so I'm not interested in a relationship, this is also what I told every other girl that tried to move in on me and get emotional. She was different, she was the only one that wasn't trying to impress me, I was the new guy and everybody was all over me, except her. This made ME curious, because I was introduced to her and I wondered why she didn't fall all over me like everybody else (cocky? Idts. lol) she did give me little signs but nothing major, one day she took me to a staircase and started making out with me. She was with he ex at the time and they were having a terrible relationship, he cheated on her and everything, and supposedly the reason she stayed with him is because she drilled into her head that he was the one and that she just has to suck it up and put up with his shit.
I found out she had a boyfriend through somebody else and never really mentioned it to her because originally, I wasn't looking to move anywhere past the physical aspect of things. This changed very fast, things started heating up between us, and she broke up with her boyfriend and I still told her I wasn't looking for a relationship. 3 or 4 months later, I decided what the hell, because I had feelings for her and I told her let's just make the best out of the little bit of time that we have left, and asked her to be my girlfriend. This little bit of time was the greatest, I decided to stay in state at a community college because my GPA wasn't the best at the time so I couldn't get into any really good universities. Everything was GREAT for about 3 more months, she went out of the country for seven weeks during the summer. When she came back, everything was still good for about two more months. I'm not going to go into too much detail here, but basically, I found out that she was still talking to her ex after telling me how much she hates him, and she would tell me that he texted her good morning, and she told me how she sent him this really up front and direct and kind of rude text about how she doesn't want to ever speak to him again, yada ya blah blah. Next, her "close friend" wanted to hang out with her before she went off to college, I said fine, have fun. She asked me if I wanted to come, I said no, go have a good time with your friend. This was after confirming with her that he was actually only a close friend. She called me later on in the day and said that he tried to kiss her while they were out and she ended up walking home instead of him dropping her off, etc. etc. She told me about how she couldn't believe him and she hates him too , same old story. Come to find out, 2 months after all of this, on her birthday, I find that her ex messaged her on facebook (she didn't tell me about this, I found out myself) it went a little something like this:
Ex: "Get on SPAM lata so I can tell yu happy birthday"
Her:
OK! Just text me whenever you want me to get on.
I had a big problem with this because that doesn't seem like the same guy that she "hates so much" and the same guy that she told off multiple times. I saw on her twitter that she was talking to some guy with the same name as her "close friend" from earlier that she supposedly doesn't want anything to do with anymore. I ask her about it, she says that it's her friends boyfriend, I said "well that's funny because it says #TeamSingle on his twitter profile" she freezes and says "really?!" I say yea and she says oh and changes the subject, I know something isn't right but I trusted her enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. 2 months later, I confronted her about these things, it was in a "different" way tho. I brought it up to her, she suddenly got defensive, I changed the topic suddenly and said "hey, u wanna go to breakfast tomorrow?" she said yeah. I never had any intentions to pay for her meal. We go, everything is fine, I order like it's my last meal, she acts weird and doesn't really order anything. She senses that there's something wrong, I told her I'll tell her later. After we get done eating, I tell her that we're gonna go sit in the car and talk, when this happens, I ask her about the situation with her ex and she lies, I tell her that I know about the fb messages, then she starts giving me what I want to hear, which are also lies. I finally get her to tell me the truth, and then I ask her about the "close friend" thing, turns out she lied about that too, to my face.
Well, after I made it seem like I was done with her and stopped texting her for about 3 days while she blew my phone up, I told her that she has one more chance and that she should tell me anything and everything that she feels like I should know at that moment. She did. I feel like she's changed A LOT since then, she actually messaged both of the guys on facebook and told them that she's moving on with her life and she didn't really want anything to do with them. I actually witnessed it this time, she blacklisted their numbers, etc. keep in mind that I didn't tell her to do these things. Now I feel like she's everything I could ask for because it's so hard to find a faithful girl that would happily take care of you, etc. etc. I do love her, and I do want her to be the one that I marry. Since then though a lot of problems have came up, she's scared to tell her mom about me because we follow two different religions, she follows islam. She's afraid her mom will try to keep her from me, this is affecting me, a lot because she pushed me to tell my mom about her the second month it became official. Every time we go hang out, it's because she lied to her mom. She doesn't tell her mom that she's coming to the movies with me, or anything like that. She'll tell her mom that there's a meeting at school or something like that. I keep telling her that if it's gonna be like this, I don't want to hang out with her, because I wanna marry her and I'd rather her mom know about me by her telling her straight up than to her mom know about me by catching us out when she thinks her daughter is at school. All of this bothers me, please don't tell me to ignore it and don't let it get to me because remember, I'm not trying to be PUA or Alpha, I'm trying to be a boyfriend.
With this said, I tell her about that all the time, she says that the religion thing is the main problem, and once we figure that out (she says that we should each learn about each religion again, and then choose one together but I honestly don't believe that I could be any other religion than the one that I am now. I feel like she always forgets about this and I keep telling her that it's holding us back from moving on to the next level of our relationship, etc.
With my relationship background in a nutshell, let's move on to the problem:
I was back in my hometown for some time recently, and I went out to a club, had a little bit to drink, and me and this girl across the room kept making different faces at each other (it was a flirty type of thing, don't think about weird faces, think about sex faces, smiles, and winks) She was very attractive to me. But I didn't want to approach her because of my relationship and because it was my last night in town.
On the way home I began to think. Next year I think I plan on transferring to an HBCU, preferably Howard. So we very well might be going to different schools, but in the same state and not too far away from each other. But I was thinking, and I caught myself wanting to go back to my PUA ways and fuck a lot of different girls when I transfer, because the ratio is amazing. It's about 7:1 girls and guys, and about 30% of the guys are gay, so more girls for the straight guys.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should let her know this, or what. I really want to marry her, but I also want to have fun now. I'm a really adventurous guy but I'm not able to share that side of myself with her because we barely get to go out and when we do, it's no where interesting because it's always in the middle of the day. I don't know what the solution to this is, I don't know if I can have both some how, will I have to pick from one or the other?
P.s. We lost our virginity to each other so she's not a hoe and she's the most faithful girl that I know now. She also loves taking care of me, making me breakfast, etc. But that girl in the club really got my heart pumping and kind of made me miss being single and question if my current GF is the type of girl that's really right for me.
CHAT