Need advice on keeping it cool with the ex



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 5:37 pm 
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Short of it is, I was with my girl for 1.5 years. Very invested in each other. I took her virginity, and we at one point moved to a new city to start a new adventure together. She recently moved back home in order to go to college. She is 20 I'm 26.

I was never jealous until the end of our relationship and after about 2 weeks of her being away we split up. She didn't break up with me, but I told her that I'd rather be apart then to see pics of her at parties with other guys and all that. She didn't seem to take it hard and just said ok fine.

She then starts chatting up with this guy on fb and it was driving me up the wall. She posts flirty comments to him and he post little hearts on her wall and stuff. I had some friendly chatter with her for this time, until I lost my cool and just said that 'I can't be talking to you any more because I fell in love with you and I need some time alone in order to forget about you'.

At that point I thought that she was already over me. 3 weeks after 1.5 years seems quick no? So I travelled back to my home town and hung out with a mutual girlfriend for a couple of days. Partly to make my ex jealous and partly cause this girl is a serious cutie.

Just recently my ex sent me an email asking what's up, adding at the end if I went back to our old city. I responded saying i was doing good, and that I had gone to go have a little fun, not mentioning what and with whom.

Well she responded with an angry tone. Saying:

'nice to see you're travelling, I've just gone on a trip to the sea as well. How did you like your trip? I should have known you wouldn't say anything if you where around, heh. Good luck, bye.'

Note that she had been acting like she was completely over me over the last 2-3 weeks.

Now, does her getting emotional mean that she still has feeling for me? If towards the end of the relationship I has acting like a chump, how do I now turn it around and make sure I have a good enough rapport with her that if I visit her I could get her in bed again? We are ultimately not meant for each other, but I would like to have her as a friend with benefits, and do still have strong feelings for her. How should I respond to her e-mail?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 5:59 pm 
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I wouldnt be worried about that guy she talks to on FB an all that. But you gotta keep in mind, she is 20, and your 26. She still has a lot of partying to get out of her system and part of that is flirting with guys. The more cool you seem about things, the better. Dont bring up the relationship or talk about it...let her do that if she wants to. Keep going out, and hanging with that girl your talking about. Become the friendly fun guy to talk to when you talk to your ex. Light hearted, fun conversations. Dont tell her, but show that you have moved on (even if you haven't). I'd say give a few days before you respond to that e-mail. say something to the effect of my trip was great had lot of fun how was yours? and just ignore her little jealous anger rant.

My ex acted completely over me for months. Now shes jealous? It's a game man. You wana hit that still, you gotta let her warm up to you as a friend. If she flirts, flirt back, but dont initiate it. Hopefully someone can get on here and give you some more tips. But keep going out and partying, meeting girls, do your thing. Keep her as a backup not a primary.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:48 am 
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hey man i dont have anythin to contribute but...

im trying to win my ex back SPAM, by the sounds of this post jealousy seems to be a big hit. do u guys think i should use a jealousy plot if i want her back?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:30 pm 
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Quote:
do u guys think i should use a jealousy plot if i want her back?
This is the first time I actually want to get my ex back in the sack, so I don't really know. But not being needy seems like a must. That means just having a good time with out her for the time being.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:02 am 
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Good call man, just go out and have fun and don't worry about her. Plenty of girls out there, if you do want to keep your ex as a friend with benefits then simply treat her like one. If she replies angry and frustrated, clearly she's frustrated at you for not acting like you care about her. That's good because you got the upper hand. Just casually email her back, not even responding to her frustration like icup said. Let her flirt with you, and when she flirts, flirt back. Tease her sexually and go on about your day doing whatever you usually do. Let her be sexually frustrated, keep on teasing her and flirting with her. Keep your composure, if you keep this up, she'll be visiting you :lol: Women love a challenge, challenge her. ;) If you tug a ball of yarn in front of a cat, she will chase it. Good luck bro


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 5:32 am 
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Stay Alpha


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 6:34 am 
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A couple of things: rise above your emotions in all circumstances. Be strong and not a slave to them. I know its tough, you're still young at 26, I only just got this at 33!!! You have to show you're strength as a man wins out against your emotions as a pussy (we all have them!!) at all times. Very important.
AND
Dont stress about her seemingly rude email-you gotta rise above that too. Let it go and provide no further contact. Its a shit-test. I can't gaurantee, but I would say if you let it go from there she will come back with some weak/apologetic tone in the coming days/weeks.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:48 pm 
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Clearly, after your long relationship, she couldnt forget you so easily, and the fact that you have moved on makes her jealous, keep that going on.


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