Okay so I typed this out and had a browser crash and lost the whole thing. This will be the condensed version

The background
I've been a relationship with a wonderful girl for the past 5 years. We're very much in love.

Two years ago we had a new friend join our social circle. A true definition of AFC. He was a likable guy though. Well read and intelligent. Loads of esoteric knowledge and interests so conversation was always interesting. Always flirting with and complimenting people to make friends.

He very quickly developed a crush on my partner. I ignored it because it didn't bother me. He wasn't a threat so why should I worry.
After a while things started to get intense. The crush turned into an infatuation. That was kind of annoying but I figured I'd ignore it because it was harmless.

Eventually I found out he was actively trying to break us up. Subtly trying to badmouth me to my partner and make her believe our relationship was a sham. He was real clever about it. If he wasn't doing it to me I'd admire his dedication. But he did do it to me and I wasn't impressed. I told him directly to cut it out. I liked him regardless, but it wasn't cool and it would loose him friends if he kept behaving like that.

This is when the shit really hit the fan. He had been caught so he changed tactics. He sent out rumours that I was emotionally and physically abusing my partner. We had many loving well meaning friends offer her support and try and convince her to leave me. I wasn't so warmly welcome at parties anymore. Once again he showed impressive dedication to his cause. Complete dick move that I really didn't find awesome, but it definately had an impact.

He is currently still trying to break us up (almost two years and still unsuccessful) and destroying my reputation by manipulating our friends

The situation
It's been almost two years of this. And I see only one option left. I have so far I have ignored his behaviour, that only seems to encourage him.
I can't talk to him like an adult, because he is convinced the ends justify the means and so long as he gets the girl, everything he does is okay.
I can't beat the bad behaviour out of him because then I look like a violent person.

Since there is no way to change his bahaviour I need to sort something else out

The way I see it is that without his influence over others, he has no way of negatively impacting me and my partners life. I'm about to say something that will get me alot of negative feedback but I'm hoping there's at least one person out there who can relate to my situation and be willing to help. I want to game my friends into not wanting to associate with him anymore. I'm busy trying to read up about NLP like mad SPAM

Has anybody had experience with this sort of situation before/done this? Anyone have any advice?

wait a minute...

two years after he waged he campaign of terror against you...

and he is somehow still in your life?

in YOUR GIRLFRIEND's life?

what am i missing here?

something is wrong with this picture...

is your girlfriend still speaking to a guy who has basically been terrorizing you?

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

It was roughly a year ago that I called him out on the mindgames he was playing against her. We've severed contact. Unfortunately he's still actively social with friends we have in common, and still runs a slander/mindgame campaign with them. He believes that dispite his actions she'll come back into his life if we breakup. It is some serious panty-sniffer psycho bullshit.

Damn... and you still liked this guy???
He's activly trying to destroy your 'life'.
You know that.
Does your girlfriend know he's still doing that?
My question for you... What do you fear in the whole situation? You fear losing your girl? You fear losing your friends? You fear he might 'win'?

Akward situation, and i don't think NLP is the answer for it.

Hey mate! I'm really to hear about this fucking psycho fucking with you, damn.. It's bloody unbelievable that people are crazy enough to do theese kind of things.

Now, I'm no expert - but I kind of experienced the same thing - Just in a much less severe way.. Anyways, the way I dealt with it was to simply spread the word about what's happening, go have a talk with all your friends that he's manipulating, and tell it like it is. Tell them that you're really worried and bothered by it, and that you're really sad that he's making you look that bad, because you really love your girl and you'd never hurt her in anyway. Perhaps they would see through his lies? Afterall - If you - and your girlfriend both agree that this is pure manipulation, then your friends really should believe what you're telling them. If they won't believe you - Have a talk with your girlfriend and tell her that you really need her help in solving this - because it truly is a problem for you. Maybe she would help you out - And talk to her friends about the fucker that's manipulating them?

If your good friends are still friend with that guy after knowing what he is doing to you and not believe YOU, you need new friends.

I love mind games.
A symptom of Sadistic Personality Disorder is humiliating people in front of others.
This is a pleasure I'm sure this faggot inch worm is in tune with.
Don't talk about him behind his back, actively make him look stupid in front of everyone.

Which will piss him off and then he'll...

OK fuck, I don't know.
But pushing buttons at random is usually my preferred technique when I have an issue.

_________________
Life is too important to be taken seriously. (Church of FSM)

Queries:

What has your response been to your social circle so far regarding his statements?

How are you currently dealing with it socially?

What is your girl friends take on this?

Damn man... really admire you for keeping your cool in a situation like this, i know it would really fuck me up if i were in your shoes.

Seriously though can't you ask your girlfriend to tell this guy straight to leave both your relationship alone? He'd probably listen to her if shes really what hes after.

If you can't cut this guy completely out of your life i'd say try to be abit more aloof around him (encourage your girlfriend to do this as well) the more you let this guy inv involve himself in your life the worse things are gonna get.

Also let as many close friends of yours know the situation as well, the more people on your side the better i think.

Hope this douchebag leaves you both alone soon, noone deserves something like this to endanger their relationship.