Dude,

the grass will always be greener on the other side, and you will still have to mow the lawn. If you don't like the way she's behaving and you still want her as a gf then you just need to be straight up blunt with her about this.

"Listen baby, I fucking love you. I will not do this this and this. You are as good as I am. I love you but your behavior is seriously turning me off... etc . etc. "

There will always be that one problem in a relationship which makes it difficult to stick with each other, and it takes two to make it work. Your girl is obviously insecure about the long distance relationship because honestly long distance relationships are pretty fucking hard to handle. You just got to help her feel certain that you love her as much as she does or appreciate whatever the fuck she does and encourage her to go out and live life and go have fun and do everything that's fun. Tell her lovingly don't be straight up rude about it, women don't work like men. We can take criticism to change and improve but they take compliments and appreciation. Let her know that by her going out and having fun, it is really attractive to you. For her to stop complimenting you so much, this will make you want her more. Sometimes you gotta spell it out to her. She doesn't have a guide or manual on how to attract you to her like how you have one right now. She probably doesn't have access to a forum like you do either. All she has are her feelings and what to do with them.


There's nothing wrong with losing attraction. It's natural and it happens. You're a guy, and shit happens. Who is to say something natural like losing attraction and having desire to check other girls out are wrong. I have my own morals and ethics and I'm not expecting you to live up to my standards. That is for you to decide. You need to ask yourself, what is important to you? Is she really that important to you?

You do talk a lot about looks and how she's hot and everything. Does that shit really matters or is it your ego that tells you it matters? You need to figure out what you want man. Before you worry about feeling guilty for having such thoughts and your thoughts about the relationship, you need to worry about yourself. You need to ask yourself why you feel this way and what is it that you really want. You said your ex was a bitch and you worked for it, that means you love a challenge. Obviously with the way things are going, your gf isn't a challenge to you at all. Are you okay with that? Are you willing to commit to this relationship knowing that you're bored and not challenged? Are you going to let your gf take this kind of behavior from you? If you're bored and shit, it will radiate through your words and actions, as a girl, she will pick it up and she WILL FEEL INSECURE. With this insecurity, she will respond a certain way to hold on to you tighter, which as a response will make you feel even more bored. It really does takes two to tango. You're doing this to yourself, the way she treats you is how you taught her to treat you. If you're not too happy about how things are, why not be a man and lead. Lead the conversation else where, and if what she says turns you off, let her know it turns you off, tell her to stop, and move on. Challenge her, tease her, joke around and shit. Familiarize her with this type of interactions and when she gets comfortable she will talk to you the same way you talk to her. Start slow and be patient with her.

There's a lot more ways to work things out, but I'm going to be honest. If you're not willing to commit to this relationship and you're going to half-ass this relationship then I suggest you cut it short, break it, and move on. Because you don't deserve to be in that type of relationship and neither does she. It's not fair for you and it's not fair for her. It wastes both of your time and you can do better things and find better girls as well as her finding that guy who truly loves her and will certainly treat her better. Like I said, think about what you really want at the current moment and whether or not you are willing to commit because if you're not and you feel obligated, then that's not a relationship. It's a chore, and I don't remember a relationship being a fucking chore, EVER! So that's something for you to think about. Take care and good luck.



- Nelson
ps. I respect for the honesty, I've been there done that, just my own perspective

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

You are most probably right.

I just had an erasmus with lots of girls and fucking. I became kind of used to the lifestyle of a free man going to clubs and checking out girls.

However, my gut feeling says that if i break up with this wonderful girl (which she is), i'll regret it the rest of my life.

Something inside me doesn't realize how hard it is to find an honest and sweet girlfriend, if i can find one after all. It's clearly my lack of experience.

I'm not going to break up with her for now. I will see where this goes. I hope to settle down with her soon.

Very good post, thanks.

Hmm, so you're afraid of regretintg the decision later should you decide that you don't want to continue to be in a relationship with her, that makes sense as she's in essence giving you everything that "should" matter, I suppose.. however there are problems.

Have you ever been "in love" or had oneitis in a previous relationship?

I had 1 relationship before with a bitch GF, and i had oneitis. But it was the result of my inexperience thinking that i can't get woman. Now i KNOW i can get woman.

Its actually a good thing cos your in the driving seat. The problem is she is insecure and may have little to do with you.

If you want to stay with her then make sure you are reassuring that your not running off. She needs this reassurance. The reason she tells you she loves you so often is so you'll say it back (but dont get pulled into that trap).

LDR create a lot of worry sometimes cos the other person is always wondering what the other is upto. Just be reassuring, but also tell her that she doesnt need to be so pannicky. Be nice about it obviously but she needs to cool it,