Hey everyone! I've been in this relationship for 2 months now. Yes it is really not a long time I know but this is getting really serious. Now the whole story is not very important I think, I will try to stick with the important parts. We kissed once about a year ago, then after a while we both broke up with our partners and now we're together. Thing is, I feel more attracted to her than to anyone in my life before. And her love against me is also very passionate and, for this short time, surprisingly deep. (This strong affection can be derived from the amount, and quality of sex we're having I assume) Now 2-3 weeks from now, the next semester will start, and we've decided we'd live in the same room in the studenthousing. Now this changes a few things. First, sex will become fairly easy. We won't have to wait for our roommates to leave or mess around, we just fuck whenever we want. And this is good. But living in the same room is a pretty big step, especially for this short time. Our personal time will consist of 1) our classes when we're not together and 2) the weekends we spend home apart from each other(1-2 per month). I'm not afraid of moving together, in fact, I want it. I just also want to be cautious. Now for the summer we live 4 hours away from each other with bus. So usually when we see each other it's for 3-7 days every 1-2 weeks, and we've NEVER had any problems, fights or anything like that yet. What I'd really like to ask you guys about is what are your thoughts about this and if there're some tips you think I could use I'd really appreciate it.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Hm... Two things stand out:

1. You've been together for two months.
2. You've never had a fight.

Fights almost always start after the second month in my experience. It's not bad thing. Fights are how you resolve issues you've been having. It's perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. I'm just concerned you'll be going into this with an unrealistic expectation of you two being perfect for each other or something.

I would never move in with a girl who I've known so little. It's going to put extra stress on the relationship that would be better put off until you had an even stronger relationship.

Finally, maybe these are just my own demons haunting me, but seeing a girl who is extremely passionate and having based the relationship on sex reminds me of an AFC relationship I was in, where I later found out the girl was insane and extremely clingy. Didn't end well. I'm definitely not drawing the same conclusions here, by any means. But I know that sometimes when you're in a relationship, you close your eyes to some things, and only focus on the good, and it can lead to disaster. Just another tip towards waiting a while until you know her better.

Good luck!

Hi and thanks for your response. Few things then If I had been asked the question: "would you move in with a girl you've only known for two months?" 3 months ago, I would have answered "NO FUCKING WAY" without hesitation. For the fights, of course they are healthy... I just said we haven't had any because it is kind of strange . Well for the sex part, the relationship isn't really based on that, I was just trying to say that it really works well and that could be the reason behind the amount of passion we have against each other. It's not like she's being needy she just lets me feel how she feels besides the 'I love you' phrase in intense and sometimes very creative ways. And I know REALLY well the last thought of your answer. I wouldn't say 'sometimes', I'd rather say, 'usually' Now I don't think that we are the perfect match for each other because it's not been a long time enough to decide that. We might, or might not be, eventhough things are looking awesome from behind this pink fog currently. However this moving in thing was decided a week ago and we've already made the necessary steps for the studenthousing to let us. So there's no moving back and despite the fact I really apreciate your answer, I would need advice in how to get the most out of this situation while also having the best chances of avoiding the 'disaster'. Of course it might be my fault a little that I didn't stated that 'Not moving in together' is no longer an option.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

No problem. I could already tell that you were going to do it. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I would be prepared with some sort of failsafe just in case three months from now, you realize this isn't working, but you have no where else to go. Just prevents some misery.

But what we're going for is to never even reach that point, right? Ok.

I would, every once in a while, have group events at your house, if allowed by your housing people. Not like a big party or anything, but have some friend events of your own, and encourage her to have some as well. Have a poker night with the guys at your place, for example. Especially with a new relationship like this, you don't want to burn out too quickly all the passion that has built up. And having too easy of an access to each other could do that. Mix up some of these events at the house as well as out of the house. Perhaps alternate. (For example, Tuesdays is Poker for you at the house, tea night (or whatever thing) for her outside with her friends. Thursdays is Movie night for her in the house, Bowling night for you and your buddies. The idea is that you don't want to always be leaving to do your thing, but rather sometimes anchor it at the house, so that she knows where you are. It will simply help her know you're not cheating on her, which is another concern sometimes when a couple takes on extra commitment like this. (They see they are putting in a lot of effort to the relationship, and want to be assured the they are just as committed.) Plus it will build trust between the two of you.

I wouldn't do this scheduling thing with sex, though. keep that spontaneous.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you need anything else, and I'll help if I can.

This! A very good idea indeed. Trust is not an issue, non of us is a jealous type but I also see your point in the extra commitment part. Oh also if it doesn't really work we can always just change rooms with someone. Since we are a couple and normally genders are not mixed up in the rooms it might take a bit but not longer than a week. (People leave the hostel constantly. whenever a guy leaves I just take his place and it's done and she can get a girl roommate as soon as someone needs it) So that's for the failsafety part:) Thanks very much. I was thinking about something like this in order to get some private space but that house-party thing never came to me.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

TheFreshPrince nailed it.

I'm going to be blunt here, so please don't take offense. Chalk it up to me being a bit older and crusty if you'd like.

I have a question for you: why did you two decide to move in together? If you can give me an answer other than "because we're really whooped on each other" or "because the sex is great", then you MIGHT have a chance of making this work.

You haven't been together long enough to determine anything (you say this yourself). You also say that 3 months ago your answer to whether this was a good decision would be "no way". So what, exactly, made you change your mind? Again, other than butterflies in the stomach or great sex?

See where I'm going with this? I can't fathom why a young guy in college would want to share student housing with his girlfriend, much less a girlfriend of all of two months. You're being impulsive because you're riding the high of infatuation, and you just increased the odds of things not working out immeasurably.

My advice: turn back now. You just made this decision a week ago--it can be undone. It might take some work but there's absolutely no way it's "too late", I promise.

Good luck.

camus. I really appreciate your answer and if it were not about me I would definitely agree with it 100%. Why? Could you ask again. And the answer is: Curiousity. I am curious. I have never lived together with a LTR and whenever we would decide like this during the year, it would be a whole lot complicated. So we've just said: Hey, let's go for it. We two have a lot in common, and both of us are very tolerant, patient and are very good at managing anger and solving problems at the same time! Now for the other question. Why have we decided this way? This will be long... When I was at hers and she got the e-mail from the student-hostel that they have accepted her request I just said I better write that request soon too because I might be late. And then she asked why didn't I go to hers, because I could mention that on the sheet. So it wasn't really my idea in the first place, it just seems good and I really want to find out how it would work. It's not like we will be spending the 24 hours of the day together. We will have our own lives they will just sort of interfere with each other in a hopefully good way. I discovered I have good instincts during my "PUA carrier" if you can call it like that... I sensed...at the first month of my last LTR that there would be able to be issues. There weren't but I felt that way. Long after that they came. At the moment, we started that long distance shit I knew it wouldn't last long. It didn't matter how much I loved her and how many butterflies were still in my stomach as you say. Now with this girl, I could make an ever longer distance work for the past 1 and a half month(the last time we didn't make it that long) without any issues and if you count we were together just for a few weeks then, while also spending a whole week with her without any issues I believe, and my instincts say this can, and will work. And I never go against my instincts I learned that the hard way. Also it's not like I don't really know her at all, I just don't know her enough for the moving together thing to be reasonable. But now I don't really care. We were sort of friends from last years august to this year june when we finally got together btw. Now sorry for this long post it just wasn't easy to explain why we decided this way and if I have to be honest I still kept it short.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Haha wish I was in this boat

You might be... It's only up to one person in the entire world

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.