hey guys,

my question is simple. if your girl lost trust/doesn't trust you, not because of anything you did (rumors, lies, etc.) can you regain it? if so, how?

my girlfriend and i had an awesome relationship. then one day her sis put pics of us on facebook and someone got jealous or something and called my house and her house and shit talked each other and our families and told us fake shit about the other. My family didnt care, and neither did I, but her family over reacted and tried to get rid of me and make her feel guilty about being with me. Despite it, she wanted to be with me and we still went out, but I struggled to speak with her dad for over a month because he kept avoiding me.

Over that period of time, she told me things got "flat" and she started having doubts about me as a person. A couple of weeks ago we broke up, but she texted me again a week later, and i brought her flowers and a letter i wrote her about my feelings and we are sort of back together, but agreed that we would take things slow and see what happens.

I realized from talking to her, that she just basically doesn't trust me, or lost trust in me and thats why she has doubts. Its not because of anything I did, its just because of those rumors and how can she ever know if they are real or not.

It's shitty that she doesnt think for herself and believes outside shit. The question I have is, can trust be rebuilt? how do i do this? If i share more about myself and I am more open, will that make her feel more trusting and more secure in the relationship?

I think we really do have a chance. We've had a good relationship and can communicate well, and despite all that shit, we clearly both like each other enough, that we weren't comfortable breaking up like that.

Thoughts?

R

It looks like you have a couple options.

A- Bring up, her not trusting you because of RUMORS and nothing that you actually did, but do it, of course, in a non threatening frame. To do this in a non threatening frame try telling a story about a random friend who fell into the same situation and how crazy you thought this was because he really liked the girl, but she just did not trust him because of stupid rumors.

B- Bring up nothing of her not trusting you, but continue to talk about that awesome relationship you had, while talking about situations only you and her know about. You talk about those secret situations to demonstrate how trustworthy you are.

DONT GET MAD OR FRUSTRATD WITH HER.

so, do you really want to be with a girl who so easily doubts your character?

i mean...i would be fucking furious that she chooses to believe other people's bullshit over what i tell her.

also...are the rumors true? even partially?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Tell her an insecurity about yourself. Specifically a story about how you have been hurt in a past relationship, if you haven't been hurt in a relationship just tell her an insecurity about yourself. This has to be something you don't tell people, and make sure she knows that, start off with "I haven't told many people about this...". This shows that you trust her, and people trust people who trust them.

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If you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything.

I'm with Mack. But if you want to keep her, she needs to understand that she has to trust you above silly rumors other people are telling her.

Just tell her directly that these are rumors, they are false, and that it's silly to believe them. The whole thing in one sentence like above, or maybe two. Then just drop it, don't mention it again, and go have a great time with he. If she brings it up again for anything other than an apology, end the date immediately and freeze her out or leave her completely. Your choice.