ok so I just got into a new relationship about two weeks ago after dating this girl for a few weeks, I had to steal her off her ex (when we first hooked up she was dating him). Whilst I knew she still had feelings for him I was confident it would pass with time and we always got on awesome, she seems real into it saying she misses me all the time, never wants me to leave, saying how lucky she is etc etc.

Then this morning she posts on twitter "i cant believe you deleted me, i thought things were ok, i guess they're not." Obviously she is referring to her ex. I'm not going to lie this annoys me. She obviously still has feelings for him. But despite him having chased her recently telling her he'd change for the better and really wants her back she has told him no and that she's with me. After this twitter update, half of me is saying she still has feelings for him and i should just ditch her, the other half of me is saying they just broke up and of course she has feelings for him it will pass and that she just doesn't like people not liking her.

I have made it clear to her previously that if she isn't fully into our relationship and if she has wavering doubts about who she should be with then no big deal but I don't want to be involved with her. I said this to her very early on when she'd just broken up with him.

I haven't texted her regarding her twitter post but I'm planning on talking to her tomorrow to organise a date over the next few days. I will ask her about this twitter post as if I don't it will play on my mind.

How should I approach this? Would you bring it up on the phone before setting up the date or would you wait till the date and talk to her then? What would you say?

I do like her and realize my emotions are affecting my judgment, this is very afc of me and something I need to work on.

Thanks for the help guys, sorry about the long read.

or maybe I should just suggest I give her some space for a little while?

she was cheating on him with you, at first?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

yeah, but after she hooked up with me the first time she stopped seeing him.

She does have feelings for him obviously. When someone is truly over their ex, they don't care what they do. How old are you and her? I ask because this situation seems to arise more in younger people.

Since you have only been together two weeks, I wouldn't make it a big deal. I would have a quick talk with her about the situation (nothing accusing/mad) and then give her some space to make her realize she appreciates you. Sometimes when people are constantly around, we tend to take them for granted. This is your only move really. If you force the issue/get upset, it will push her back towards her ex.

once an indecisive cheater...always an indecisive cheater.

good luck. have fun.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Yes, she obviously has feelings for him. But you should know better--not only have you barely been together, but she went immediately from him to you after having cheated on him WITH you!

Those residual feelings for him are normal at this point; the real question is, is she ultimately (or will she be) over him, and more importantly, will she want to be with you? There are no guarantees this early on, even if there were none of these ex boyfriend factors.

I would have to admit that your circumstances are certainly not without risks. If you choose to pursue this girl, just be sure you're willing to accept them. Good luck.

I'm 20 she is 18...
Whilst I do agree with this to a certain extent I don't think its likely in this case. We were friends for a few years (one of us was always in a relationship with someone else) before we recently started dating. We also have lots of mutual friends, I just think she has far too much to loose if she cheats on me. Also her ex treated her like utter shit and neglected her, so her cheating on him was only a matter of time.
Yes I should have known better, but in this case I just couldn't help myself. Yes it is a worry for me, I don't know how long it'll take her to get fully over him, I hope this isn't just some fucked up rebound thing for her. "Will she want to be with me?" Why wouldn't she

I will pursue her for now, but I think I will try and become as emotionally detached as possible so that if shit does go down it won't be a big deal. I will also make sure to give her space (I've been doing that already anyway). I am definately going to ask her about this twitter update but I will definately do it as bigryana suggested, cool, calm, indifferent. Would you guys suggest casually saying something along the lines of "I realise you just came out of another relationship so obviously still have some lingering feelings for him, do u think you're getting over him, cause if not I don't want to be involved with this..." Or do you think that is overkill?

Thanks for the help so far guys, it's really helped me get my head around this a bit better.

I think that's a great idea.
Honestly, imho I don't think you should bring it up at all. You know it's extremely early both in the relationship and since the break up and you understand if she has residual feelings for him. So what do you really hope to gain by bringing it up? Best case scenario it shows you're paying close attention to what she posts online and are already invested enough after 2 weeks to question her feelings, and worst case scenario you put her on the defensive for even having residual feelings and force her to mentally compare her feelings for him with her feelings for you. She's *already* dealing with mixed feelings, and imho just about anything you could do in this scenario could jeopardize the situation. In the end she'll make whatever choice she's going to make anyways, it's really too early to tell, so I think doing what you said above is the only thing you can do, and certainly is your best shot at giving it a chance.

Good luck.

Here's an early sign. If she cheated on or left someone to be with you, how do you know she won't do the same to you? One of the problems with taking a woman from another man.