Okay: I flirt with girls, obviously- and my girlfriend knew about this. A couple of them got sour and when she asked them outright if we'd slept together they said yes. I came back from work and she asked to see me.

Anyway she had all my stuff in a bag (including every birthday, valentines day card and presents I'd ever given her- including a locket with a picture of us both in it, snapped in half).

I was like wtf and she was proper hitting me and saying I'd cheated and everything. I know she loves me and she's just massivlely hurt.... but she said 'I will never believe you, I hate you'.

So far I've tried to offer proof on one girl (I told the girl I lived at 154 when I live at 145) so she obv wont be able to know my address.

I've told her repeatedly I haven't cheated. I DO love her and I want her to believe me. Any ideas people?

Ciao
xx

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

I'd be really grateful, people :/

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

You know what's the root of the problem? That she believes a jealous stranger more than she believes you.
She didn't have enough trust in you in the first place to believe so easily that you cheated on her.
Maybe she was suspicious of your "player behaviour" before, thinking that she should be careful with you because you might cheat, and thus, at the tiniest slip from your part, all her old suspicions can say "Told you so!" and that's where she goes crazy.

It seems you tried the nice-guy way of solving things. It works sometimes (it has to - you can't be badass all the time) but I think it's time you changed strategy.

What I'd do now: Next time you meet her in-person, start off "nicely" asking why she doesn't trust you after all this time you've been together. She'll either have no answer to this, or talk about your suspicious behaviour.
Then you can say "That's what I figured. Look, I'm getting sick of this arguing. I didn't cheat on you. Ever. I could've fucked them, but I didn't, because I love YOU. And I'm sick of busting my nuts trying to prove it to you when you don't even value our relationship enough to trust my word over a jealous stranger's one. Think about this and call me when you figured yourself out." and leave calmly and firmly. This way you show her you aren't afraid of losing her anymore (counterbalances your weak behavior, begging for forgiveness) and you keep your strong frame. You either get her back apologizing to you after this, make her think again, or if she is truly crazy, she breaks up with you like she wanted to in the first place, but in this case you are better off without her anyway.

And remember, logic doesn't really work with girls, it doesn't matter what you tell her, but what she hears from it.

So this is what I'd do... Can I have a seal of approval from someone more experienced?

No your theory is impeccable- I needed to hear it from someone else. I know my logical brain is shutting off right now and I'm going right back to afc emotional justifications...

+ 2 rep

My fear isn't not being with her- it's the fact she might get with someone else. I'm the only guy she's ever been with and there's something special about that and if she got with someone else i don't know what I'd actually do.

Thanks though- I'm gonna do that.

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

Yeah, I know that feeling. It goes hand-in-hand with all breakups with people you care or cared about and it's terrible.

Good luck with the plan, I hope I am as right as I believe I am.

she is insecure and jealous ... she prefer opinions of other people above your - she asked other people first.

she should have asked you first instead she believes total strangers...this is cheating in some way on itself. dump her .. she isn't worth it, you don't need to dump her but you have the right to do so.

don't even mension how much you love her and don't try to prove you weren't cheating . the more you try to prove the more she will think you have done it.

just tell her to shut the f*ck up ... really .... don't let her lead the relationship.
just tell her you are f*ucking sick of her jealous behaviour and ridicilious attititude tell her she needs to get a grip on her maturity. .. if she's trying again to argue if you cheated or not just walk away .. call her 2 days later.

don't threath her leaving her ... don't make logical points because woman are emotional beings - they don't respond to logic. Don't come up with plans how to change her mind because they don't work and it would save you alot of time.

she is being immature here.... if you are going afc again i swear i will try to find out where you live and i will put you in back of my car... ducktaped ...

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Dont go tryna turn me on with the threat of duct tape...


Actually she just started asking me questions about it- I'm taking that as a sign of her having doubt about my cheating.

Suits me- but when she starts being all 'yeah i don't wanna talk to you' I'm just saying 'okay talk to me when you get over yourself'

She gave me all of this shit about how even if i ddnt cheat the trust wouldn't be there... I had to point out that if I hadn't cheated then no trust had been fucking broken, therefore she's being a dick.

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OKAY PEOPLE:

The girls told her they were lying. This is what followed:

she's talked to me now and yes ok i'll believe her, i still don tfeel 100% about it because you could have just told her to lie for you
the fact that she's said it in the first place will always just play on my mind
If it does all turn out to be lies part of me will just hate you for even letting it get this far, its let me know that I have been far too trusting for you to even flirt with other girls, people always gave me looks and told me it was wrong but I told them that it's just the way you are but why should I just accept that. This is just too much for me all together, all this shit you have now put me through will not just vanish because it turns out a few people lied. You were telling people that we barely even know about me and our sex life FAR too much. Robyn? she can run off and tell everyone everything about me. I never told anyone about the threesome because i wasn't really that comfortable with it, it didnt really bother me when all lizzies friends found out and andy or whatever but I could just never actually bring myself to tell anyone else apart from on tumblr because i know that way nothing shit would happen and wouldn't get spread or anything, Ive always been wary of it since high school when everyone found out we had sex. I look back now and don't really care but it did affect me wanting other people to know things about me. I stopped telling lauren and hannah ANYTHING about me really and it changed the realtionships I had with them so yes this has affected me a lot and it's gonna take a while to get my head round everything

2 hours agoPaula Monaghan
I knew you were flirtatious but you went too far, i never knew it was like that

24 minutes agoThomas 'Stifler' Francis
Okay, but understand that personally I see no difference between me telling a specific person and you announcing it to the world- you never know who reads those sites- you dont know if someone we know found it....

I really cannot believe that you thought I'd cheat on you in the first place. The fact you only half believe me after lucy even admitted to lying really pisses me off because this totally feels like you just want an excuse to be arsey with me. You wanted proff, I gave you proof. Then you even told me what to fucking say to her. And now, after you have all the proof you can possibly have, you still think I've broken your trust.

Sorry but not once have I ever done something you asked me not too. You can't say telling other people about us is breaking your trust cause frankly it's nothing you've not told people- whether they were strangers or not. You feel hurt that I tell other people stuff, yet I feel the same way because of what YOU say, and I feel you're having double standards- that you can say shit but I cant.

It also pisses me off that you think I wold ever go near LIZZIE. Okay the messages were super well done, but no offence but if you noticed I was more playing off other conversations- Katie Coe says her biggest fantasy is to be tied up in the woods and used.... next thing, I tell Lizzie I want to tie her up and use her.

Look at the things we've 'done'.... not one of them is anything im even into.

I gave you my facebook password- trusted you not to read the messages because of last time....

As far as I'm concerned I haven't broken your trust in any way shape or form- you might have trust issues over the 'maybe' that's there, but that will go- you can't have a go at me for telling people anything because you do that too and you broke my trust by reading through my messages.

I love you and ofc I want to work through this but you HAVE to accept that I'm not the only one in the wrong here. I agree I shouldn't have flirted so much whether you said you were okay or not- you're my girlfriend and I should have looked past that. But equally you shouldnt read my messages after I've asked you not to, and should have believed me when I told you it was bollocks.

Neither of us are really in the wrong about saying anything about us to anyone because we both did it and neither of us complained about it.

16 minutes agoPaula Monaghan
no this IS your fault. Look what you have said to people look at what you've made other people believe. None of this is down to me at all. The only thing i agree on is reading your messages, but i'd been told straight on that you'd cheated on me. I flipped the fuck out and wanted every dirty fucking little detail on you. and it just so happened that your messages fitted everything perfectly

15 minutes agoPaula Monaghan
im not looking for excuses to be mad at you, I AM angry
I can't help what i feel

6 minutes agoThomas 'Stifler' Francis
don't run away from this. Don't tell me that it's okay for you to tell people stuff (even strangers) yet it's not okay for me to tell people.

The content of the messages weren't different from the first time you read it- there was just more in them. Why at no point did you tell me it bothered you?

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

Is it just me, or is she looking for any fucking excuse to pin blame on me because she wants to know she was in the right for being such a bitch?

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Let's get smashed and fuck all night!!

Rocknroll - Any updates here? I've just read through the thread and wanted to know if this issue of trust was sorted?

How did it end?

Hope all is good - Good luck bud