lets first start off with incongruence of your inner game and purpose of life , the goal is to find something which unconcious and giving problems. You need to balance and align both your values - goals - inner game , any contradictions are the symptoms or corruption.
everything im going to say is actually everything you or any guy come up with .. so there will be alot of ''Duhh'' moments - it's the total picture which matters , the single pointers are just building blocks.
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Goals: I wan't to grow my business past the point of complete stability without my involvment, I want to build a healthy relationship, I want to start few nev ventures and improve my work ethics in long term
how do you want your business to grow and what do you need to improve work ethics on long term ( which traits or feats )?
some question to consider : 1.
what is the relationship between work ethics , and a healthy relationship.2.
Do you have the tendancy to let things grow without being involved ?
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Purpuse (as I understand it): I wan't to help people help themselves, I wan't to make people around me be their best selves, I wan't myself to be my best self, I wan't to make a difference in community
How can you make your girlfriend feel good ( best self) if you are jealous about her interactions with other people ? There is a corruption in one purpose here, you really need to solve it because this benefits your whole life ..... if benefits your bussiness it will benefit development in work ethics. There is a unconcious behavioural pattern which is corrupting a certain value, this is triggered out of fear or fear of succes.
What do you think you deserve ? (in business and relationships)
I pressume that how you live your personal life is very important to
a; achieving your goals and
b; living you life purpose. Solving this inner issue will benefit everything , solving this inner issue will automatically bring you closer to your goals. That to me sounds like enough leverage... it isn't only your personality on the line here but also everything else.
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Your ego always try to find things you don't have wether it be negative or positive - this is true regarding personality traits. In other people you will unconciously try to find the opposite traits of things you don't like , in short words ;
what you don't have you will try to find in other people because that is what your brain is defining as value.
people always :Search things of value - focus on subjective value
give meaning to situations
the terrain is something which is unchangeable , it's objective thus you cannot judge - if you like it ot not is a whole different issue.
how you travel is changeable...
it's a subjective programming of your RAS.(
Reticular activating system). in RAS there is a restricted amount of value which you can focus on , all the things outside your RAS is outside your focus as well. This is how problems are created unconciously or conciously by throwing the mind of balance. So the mind always unconciously tries to focus on things of value and so automatically moves you away from things which are subjectively rationalized as ''non value''
That's why sometimes you have to do the
counter-intuitive because when we are programmed by are parents to focus on different things - things which can move us away from succes we need to do the counter-intuitive. this can be done by action or thought , you need to know which neuropattern(results in behaviour )is wrong and correct it by doing exactly the opposite.
Behaviour and personality is also from by action and not only by thought so keep that in mind.
Your parents give you certain rules to live by - certain values even tho you do not realize the significance or insignificanse - these values can already make a mess out of our psychology by either contradicting personality too much or promoting our personality too much. it's almost 20 years of hardwiring - taking over some behaviours from out parents -
behavior which we don't even like but it is buried in our subconcious corrupting our values and personality.
So lets say things you don't like about your dad .... even tho you are conciously aware of them ( thinking ) those 20 years of hardwiring can make you act different... thus it's almost woman psychology - how you act and what you think are not the same but in man psychology this is terrible. There is a in depth factor a repeative behavioural pattern which need to change .. it goes like the saying ;'' most people think big but act small''.
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i don't like that he's not at all assertive and he never was very ambitious.
if you encounter a problem in your relationship caused by your inner game and you are not being assertive about it ,you are not taking control. Things you don't like in your parents or other people are just opposite projections of the prefered traits. Your jealousy and your ability to not solve it directly decreases your inner game and confidence because unconciously you do not identify with the trait your prefer. The more you look like your parents in a certain period of your relationship the more insecure you become - you just lose a big part of your masculine energy. a part of your male identity....
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I hate that he gave power to my mother
by your negative affected masculine confidence described above you automically give power away to your girlfriend. The one that causes emotions in the other person has the most power according your ego , your ego does not see the difference between her being the problem or you being the problem - all your brain is saying ''
hey my self esteem is affected by insecurity ''. there are different layers of interaction in a relationship ... you have different layers of psychology ;
ego , concious and subconcious - when these are in balance according to your balanced value and inner game you are your real authentic self but when your values are corrupted you will probably act out of fear.
jealousy is just a byproduct of fear - the fear of losing will adjust your RAS to getting something BUT only if you allow it. A wrong value or negative value which you unconciously perform can influence your whole psychology. RAS is also influenced by your ego ... the question is ... what do you fear ? why is your brain focusing in jealousy instead of something productive ?
Changing behaviour and certain values wether we got from our parents or from ourselfs can instantly make your brain focus on something else. it's like changing the hardware thus you run a different software - both need to be compatible otherwise you can't function in daily life. SO we need to do the counter -intuitive ... once we know which value or neuro-pattern is corrupting you we take action in the opposite format to get positive results.
Everytime you move through fear you get back your masculine energy... 40 % moving through fear gives you 40 units of confidence. there is no room for fear in business or work ethics ... by taking great risks you can get great results. Fear is counterproductive in any way ... if fear is the product - you need to do the counter intuitive to get the opposite product.
action is the surface layer ... anytime you have certain insecurities or negative emotions arise you need to focus on something else. Disrupt the pattern by complimenting your girlfriend on how she interacts with her friends .. i mean she always replies and so forth .. kind of respectfull right ? yes it will be incongruent when you give the compliment but you being insecure or jealous is even more incongruent ... win win or win loss ... you choose.
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5.) what do you like in men ?
I like a man that knows what he wants and how to get it. Proactive man that has clear goals in his life and clear purpuse. A man that knows how important is to be your best self.
A man that can respect women and understand them as human beings not as pussy. I like ability to take matters in your hands when needed. I like a man that is assertive. A man that is not looking for validation but is respected even if thru fear (you get to know people like this when you move around larger sums).
you need to know how to be your best self and get rid of jealousy
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Regarding your mom , like i said before ; you will move away from negative aspects instilled by your dad. You will move to traits instilled by your mom even some negative ones.....
men need woman and woman need men ... the ego is always trying to get things which you don't have - men are hardwired to get woman no matter what. Men are just insecure around woman because woman are higher value to a man than a man to a man. it's just instinctive... we all want sex... it's just another feature of the terrain which can't be changed .
The thought of sex will be dormant but not absent , the day you are born you are already hardwired to seek out woman. Men are just way more attracted to their mothers , men always attain submissive structures to prevent confict with their fathers - When men want to avoid conflict they adopt more female energy - example : the afc guy in the club when he makes eye contact with the alpha - he will turn his eyes away from the alpha guy. Men that do grow up without fathers often are natural leaders even tho they are not concious aware because they had no competition of confrontation with their fathers thus they did not adopt submissive structures which are present in a social group. We are prone to copy behaviours from our mothers since we are hardwired to value woman to a certain degree.
as a child you also give your power away to your dad by attaining female energy ( oppsosite of masculine mature energy ).
But when do we break free from this pattern ?
What is becoming a mature man ? is it breaking free from social conditioning caused by your parents so you develop to a more individual authentic person ? i think so....
Guys probably think this guy is nuts etc .... that i am saying that as long you have too much respect out of fear to your dad you will not grow to a mature man.
like i said fear is not mature .. it's counterproductive ... fear is childish - courage to move through fear by taking action and responsibily is mature ... we all can agree with that.
Have you ever said to you dad what you don't like about him ? alot of the guys never said what they don't like about their dad - they all supress it which lead to contempt and weird behaviours . you need to break the patterns you have adopted while growing up.
Tell your dad what you don't like about him... just ask him why he did some things. , if being mature is breaking away from our parents conditioning then why do we never adress what we don't like ? why do we supress our personalities and slow down our development to being a mature man ?
Contradictions cause imbalance like'i've mensioned above , parents teach us honesty or respects ..... both are a contradiction.
how can you be respectfull if you aren't honest to someone ? Not being honest is repressing ... this soon can develop in a repeative neuro association - as children we are supressed and controlled. As long you don't tell your father what you don't like about him you will not improve on honesty - being honest is respectfull. being honest will work in relationship and it will improve work ethics.
most men are dishonest to woman because they do not to show their personality in a social situation , they repress themselfs... a by product of social conditioning of parents.
the first solution was taking action on surface - more reactive
what im presenting now is to disrupt a pattern you have gained a long time ago.
pattern disruption by confronting repressed thoughts
some questions :
Do you like more like your dad or mom when it comes to personality traits ? (passive or active .. and so forth )
does your girlfriend have similar traits like your mom ? ( what you like or don't like about your mom etc ) ?
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5.) what do you like in men ?
I like a man that knows what he wants and how to get it. Proactive man that has clear goals in his life and clear purpuse. A man that knows how important is to be your best self.
A man that can respect women and understand them as human beings not as pussy. I like ability to take matters in your hands when needed. I like a man that is assertive. A man that is not looking for validation but is respected even if thru fear (you get to know people like this when you move around larger sums).
what you like in other men is just a projection of what you have , you like to have yourself, or how you like to see yourself. with all the text above can you see how your masculine side is affected ? Confidence is mature masculine energy , if you lose it by negative emotions your manly side get affected. Guys feel bad but in depth they lose a part of their male identity.
how can you be assertive if you never confronted you dad what you don't like about him , i mean hold these opinions to yourself for many years. You cannot be a subconcious hypocrite, it's incongruent with your values.
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4.) what do you hate about your mom ?
I hate the fact that when she felt helpless she reacted by being passive agressive. I hate that she wasn't self aware enough to figure out when she was depressed and instead found unrelated matter (at home or not) and be mad instead of feeling down.
I actualy (I just figured this out, yippy) hate the fact that she tried to protect me and my brother in different situations from "real world". For example when my aunt was dieing I was told she's just "sick" when quite a few people knew she had terminal cancer. I was 16 at the time and she obviously thought of me as not being old enough (I was running small business at the time). I always had the fillling that she trusts in me 100% and I really apreciated it so things like that always make me think if it's just an act (who cares anyway).
I hate it that she wasn't "brave enought" to start her own business despite the fact that she was more then enought competent.
She is a good mother anyway. I'm just trying hard to find things about her I hate.
you will not find things about her which you hate ... because it will be hating yourself. in underlying context it's the question is '' this is a projection ... what do you not like about yourself....''
this is repressed .. this is all subconcious .. if you have a problem you need tp acknowledge it... if your business formula doesn't work you need to change it.. differentiate or die , you cannot ignore it because it would be heading for disaster.
you have way alot in common with your mom.. did you tell you mom what you like or don't like about her ? ( just like i've mensioned before with your dad). Ask your mom what she does not like about herself , and try to look if you posses the same traits. If you never tell your parents what you don't like about them you also don't know what you don't like about yourself in complete knowledge. ... most of our behaviours are just copied from our parents, it's no trial and error - it's copied. confront your own conditioned mind by confronting your parents .... yes i know if feels cheesy .. and yes you don't have to bust their balls - you can also tell them what you do like about them.
you look alot like your mom and you like your mom the most, thus i believe you copied most of behaviours from your mom. Asking her what she doesn't like about herself could be a huge eye opener - it could show you your own weak points in your hardware - very important i assume.
question : if you could choose or change the fact that your girlfriend is getting all these messages would you change it ? in other words would you try to keep her safe from the real world ? or would you change the way you feel ?
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what you hate in woman is probably a projection of what you hate in yourself and your girlfriend. this does not mean you always portrey this .. it means how you feel right now with these problems.
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I hate passive woman, I hate it when a woman knows what she wants and do anything to get it. I hate the ability to obsess with completely irrelevant matters.
check .. you have showed these markers
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I hate neediness, I hate the need for a woman to "get back to you" when she feels bad by any random matter (A random girl calls me and a girl I'm with just calls her guy friend "to get back at me" just because she feels bad and can't pinpoint the problem, Not a problem with current GF just to be clear).
sounds a bit like you right now
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I hate manipulative women.
doesnt look like you yet
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I hate unability to communicate her feeling before acting on them or just feeling bad.
defenite yes ...
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I hate possesive or jealous women (I know right???)
well you probably know ..
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I hate immature women.
well the above behaviours are signs of immature behaviour.....
what makes us immature ? did we not fully grow up ? did we not let go of our parents ? which personality feats create these negative behaviours ( so you can do the counter intuitive to balance it)
unability to communicate ? insecurity .. dishonest.. the opposite of assertiveness ?
you could finish the list by looking at all the above behaviours you don't like in other woman and feature/write down personality feats which create these behaviours.
.. why the heck .. what you like in other men is a projection of what you like about yourself ? what you like about your mom and don't like about your mom is also a projection that is describing you ?
what is the difference between these 2 in type , structure and relation ? 
CHAT
