Moderator edit: Post deleted as per request by OP

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Heisenberg.

her behaviors and fears are normal. women come in all shapes and sizes (physically and mentally). a girl who is insecure just needs extra reassurance. i would think that when her insecurities pop up, you have two options.

the first option is to gently and lovingly reassure her. this is if you see her as long term relationship material. if you are GENUINELY reassuring (and not condescending or defensive), you will assuage her fears over time.

the second option is to not reassure her. this will force her to become more and more insecure until something breaks.

those are the options with an insecure girl. but insecure girls are sometimes the sweet girls who make actual good ltr material. the secure girls are more often than not a female version of us - pua's. lol.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Well, thing is this is something you have to work on as a couple and something she has to work alone.
Your not gonna get out of this situation without talking about it.
If your gonna talk about it chose a good time to do so. Do not do it in reaction to a spesific event. You need to explain to her that you cannot not interact with other girls. Let her understand that you have one girl freind and a number of freinds who are girls. If your ex is a part of your life she needs to understand and accept that you had a life before her and that your ex is just an ex (of cours especialy on this point you have to be very congruant. If she feels any lingering tension between you and your ex, your done for).
As for the body issue that's gonna be harder. Now your in a relationship so that means you can tell her she is beautifull. You have to tell in her in a sincere and true way. She needs to feel your telling her the truth. You also need to make her feel beautifull. Let her see you checking her out. During for play explore her body.
If she likes you, you can tell her flate out that you are a guy who could have any number of girls at any time but that you chose her, that you wnt her and not anybody else.
Tell her (gently, nicelly while handeling her with kiddy gloves) that she is beautifull but that she can't see it and that she has to work on her self to get to the point where she can see her self the way you see her.

Now this is all a long terme process. Do not expect results over night.

My ex was really insecure. She constantly cheated on her fiance with other guys (including me) and at times had up to 2 other BFs. I figure she was so insecure about me talking to other girls because she knew what she was well aware of her actions. Her excuse was she cheated to find the right guy. I put her behaviour down to her first BF cheating on her and physically abusing her.

I'm not saying you're GF is cheating, but insecurities usually occur from a significant event or from constant exposure to something negative. Knowing the root of her insecurities can help you help her deal with them, but ultimately its she who has to help herself

Thank you to all of you who replied to my Issue, I have taken all your comments into acknowledgement and you have helped me in a very big way!

Thanks

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Heisenberg.

I read this post and found it similar to another post about a guy with a very shy GF...the difference...the other post had sooo many replies that stated....LEAVE HER!
Not cool, especially if you are asking for advice with how or why or perhaps even just a word about what you did if you ever experienced it...and I am happy to see that no one actually chimed in and said... "Get the fuk out of that!!!"(or perhaps I'm really into this Ruffie Colada and missed it)

Awesome points made here, just wanted to add what I wrote but I will modify it so that it makes more sense to what you ask...


All good points...make her feel special and show her you care. Make her feel sexy without coming off with an agenda.

ONE WORD OF CAUTION: This just may be the way she is...don't give up if this is what you want...but understand...if this is the way she is...you may only be able to get her in bed, and that's it, no spice or fantasy and that may not change. She could be set in her ways. Honestly, you most likely have a good girl on your hands that will really take care of you...but sexually, she just may not feel confident and sometimes...and I do mean sometimes, you just can't change that no matter how she looks to you or what you say...if she doesn't feel it, it can be hard for her and you honestly don't want her to fake it either...it can be an up hill battle. I've been there and it was for me and I just wanted to share what my feeling were when I was with her. It was rough and it caused a lot of fights and misunderstandings. I'd try something new or better yet...I.e. She was into walking...so one day, I got up early, made some SPAM and toast for us both and said, hey, Let's take a walk after breakfast, she became quiet...I asked what was wrong...after asking why are you so quiet now...she replied, why do you want me to walk, are you not happy with how I look??? My reply...Not at all, I figured you like to walk, I want to walk with you, we can talk and just do something good rather than stay home on the couch...she opened up to the idea, but I really had to explain myself all the time and maybe it was how I was coming off...but then I would get notes, voice mails or texts about how I make her feel good and sexy, like a woman!!! Sometimes, I really really didn't get it...but I did try...and no, that's not why we broke up...but it's something similar that I thought I'd share.

Do what has been suggested and if you care about her...be patient, understanding and let her know that you are there, no matter what.

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.