Hi everybody.
I would appreciate if you give me your oppionion for my sittuation ( with my gf )
So we are together for about 6 months but this girl is very strange to me i cant understand her.
I'm always the one who call her writo to her initatiate something if i dont call her she wont ever call me. She is never interested what im doing where i am, she almost never talk about her feelings, shes some kind of cold, when i write her something her answer is whith one or two words, when i say that i dont like something or that i think she doesnt love me or that im not important to her she tells me u know that it is not true. I somekind dont feel special to her, dont feel loved, but she tells me that she loves me and i mean very much to her.. I think she only thinks about her such an egoist never tells me something sweet shes like general from the army.but i love her veeery much.. but she somekind have barriers to her feelings or so.
and she's 17 im 23

problem #1 - she's 17 and you are 23. you are both young. she is younger. mentally she is a child. a child will act childish. you will never get emotionally mature behavior from a seventeen year old. that's like asking a cow to "meow" or a tiger to "bark". doesn't compute.

problem #2 - ignoring what i have just stated above - it's a big problem that you always have to initiate. you need to stop that. i would say it's time to start mirroring her behavior. and get a life outside of her, get REALLY FUCKING BUSY all of a sudden. matter of fact, don't contact her again UNTIL she contacts you, and when she does be like "oh my god, i have been so busy with blah-blah-blah that i didn't even realize we hadn't talked" and then transition into some dirty talk.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Mate you need to be less clingy.. if she wants you, she'll soon start making moves!
Sounds like you need to have some more fun!

thanks bro i think u see the situation clearly.. i tried to solve this problem by talking.. btw she made improvement in her behavior for me shes kinda get used to this that i always have to make the calls the things that we are going to do.. aint she gonna dislike when i stop giving her the attention that i used to.. i have a live outside hers and she has too.. she calls me sometimes but only when there is a reason to never calls me to see what im doing to tell me something nice or s.o. i prefer solving this problem with talking but as i see it wont work

i think it will be best to leave the things as they are just to let them be.. what happens happens. i will just stop being so obssesed by her persona

I say talk to her. If shes really that great, she will listen and understand. Does she realise what she does and how it affects you?

i told her.. she tells me why i need to call u when u call me if i have something to tell u will tell u. i told her about what i dont like and she somehow always have what to tell to defend herself.. its obvious that i have to do change in myself to see change from outside

would it be good if i only call har in the evening when our days end and let her do moves if she wanna do something with me

You can't solve the problem of someone not being emotionally invested in you by asking them why they're not more emotionally invested in you.

You solve that problem by making them more emotionally invested in you.

The best way to use psychological principles to make someone invest more, is to increase the value of yourself to them. This means

1. Have other shit going on in your life other than them. Be busy
2. Don't text or call as often as they do
3. Give them an amazing time and then don't contact them at all for a few days
4. Have them see you in the company of other women and make them jealous
5. Don't give them easy validation all the time (buy everything, compliment them all the time, tell them how much you love them all the time). Make them actually work for a compliment, and don't be afraid to make fun of them.
6. Be willing to set boundaries and walk away if they're broken.

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If I may speculate: You love her. She does not love you. She is comfortable with you, and that is why she is not breaking up with you. The moment you demand for more from her, or a better guy expresses interest in her, she will break up with you. I think making her like you is not an option, she likes you as a person, she just doesn't get the butterflies anymore. I say break up with her and stop wasting your time. I think it will make her and you in a few weeks very happy. I hope I am wrong.

I appreciate very much you help mates. BIg BIG thanks

she told me that she doesnt feel the butterflyes anymore but thats normal i dont feel them too. but we love eachother...we have feelings but not the same as the beggining.She told me that im different from hers other bf i was kind very best friend to her so when i hear that i asked her does she feels me only like best friend she sayd no no and started kissing and hugging me. i cant understand this girl she might be just some kind of strange..

butterflies are overrated.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!