I did single well, relationship is a whole new ball game...



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 6:22 pm 
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Well I am sort of confused right now. I got divorced about 1.5 years ago and through help of The Game, Various PUA books, I hope they serve beer in hell, I became pretty good at picking up girls having one night stands and also continuous sexual relationships with many others. But now I stumbled on a relationship where I think we are in love and only to find myself in a sea of confusion over thing like, am I being needy, to does she have any issues with me and all sorts of questions that I get from her vibes.

Little background, I met her in Vegas we didn't hook up that night. She lives about 6 hours away from me and after I had a chance to meet up with her one day over another unrelated trip we hooked up. I deployed a month later and she met me at the base before I flew out and we hooked up again. We kept in touch the entire time chatting, emailing or skyping every single day. After a while we started having really strong feelings for each other and we one day basically had a talk and told each other that we loved one another.

This was about two weeks ago. I am planning a trip to visit her when I come back in two weeks and as of couple days she has been acting withdrawn. Now granted she is a senior in college and she has a lot on ehr plate right now. She has finals, papers to do and on top of that holds a job. I get all that but she has managed to maintain a certain level of cheerfulness when talking to me every time but has been kind of withdrawn latlety. Yesterday she did not even log into SPAM and after I asked her today about it she said that she wanted to concentrate on her paper. I totally understand that she has a lot on her plate but all I needed to hear was hi and I have to get busy with this paper and that would have been fine for me but that did not happen.

She still goes out one or two days a week with her friends and she gets pretty happy at the sound of that conversation but then goes back to a somber tone when we start talking about other ordinary stuff.

Even though we have said that we Love each other I am really not sure where we stand on the whloe monogamous department. I am not sure if I bring it up if it will sound like I am tryin to control her. I guess I don't even know what the expectation is? I was wondering if I will sound needy or controlling if I bring it up. I guess my case is sort of unique since we bascially are having a long distance relationship and I don't know what is expected of us and also I feel like she is becomeing somewhat distant and when I bring it up she basically says it's just because she is busy.

I hate feeling like I have no control over this situation. When you are single and following the rules of the game it is awesome since you pretty much know how to go from start to finish for the most part. This whole relationship is a different ball game all together and much more complex. I don't want to sound like a needy fuker but I think I might be becoming one. I also don't want to come off like a wuss and at the same time I want to make sure she knows I care about her and that I still love her.

Any advice would be appreciated.


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 10:41 am 
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sounds similar to what i was just in.....I was in a long distance relationship kind of thing, well it was long distance... I had almost the EXACT situation. At first, and by at first I mean for about 7 months, everything was great... I talked with her everyday, SPAM everyday, and probably exchanged 50 emails in a day with her. It was at THAT level where it's a longtime if you dont talk too someone for a day...

anyways, shit started getting different... after about 7 months, she got more negative and much more quiet. Instead of talking to her everyday, she would sometimes just go to sleep without saying anything, even though we were in the mode where you talk every fucking day. It was weird though, the good times with her were just as good, but after the 7 months, shed not respond to some emails, felt annoyed apparently, and just generally was much more of a bitch. Than it became that the only time she wanted to talk was if it was about sexual things, and now to sum it up the relationship is over, im on NC with her, if your in the situation I was in... she might 'love' you, but she is emotionally connected to you because you hooked up, she is probably annoyed by having too talk you everyday and that kind of thing, but she probably thinks of you in a physical way primarily now...

it may or may not be like that, but thats what happen to me


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 3:34 pm 
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Yeah brother I think I am dealing with this too as you described in your post. Just yesterday I brought up a sexual conversation and immediately she got more responsive on SPAM. After the conversation was finished we were chatting off and on and there were a lot of short answers from her. The worst part is I am 32 and adult that should have his shit together and she is 22 young and immature. Like an idiot I changed my relationship status from Single to in a relationship so all my friends saw it and a lot congratulated me. I also have a plane ticket to see her at the end of the month and I am starting to think that was a mistake too. I guess what I can do is see another girl I used to hook up with near by when I fly up there. I had a similar relationship a couple years ago after my X divorced me and same fucking thing happened with this other girl, you would think I've learned my lesson. I was hopefull since the other girl had some emotional issues (cuting herself etc) so I figured this girl would be different, but the biggest problem is the age.

My girl has a foresight of a child and I am an idiot for letting my mind get all fucked up over a girl that is not mentaly equipt and ready to be in a healthy relationship.

Fuck me, come to think of it I didn't even want a relationship!! Why do I do this after my Game skills are at all time high?! I wish my dad thought me this stuff when I was growing up, it's easy to learn going to college will equate to higher salary and how to shave and other crap like that but dealing with women is another thing haha.


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 4:12 pm 
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@Fastflyer-Good to see that you were having major success in seduction after your divorce.

Lot of guys(newbies)never manage to have good game while being single.

Anyway,it's sought of a rule in the community that subjects of emotions & monogamy should be left to the girl to bring up.

If you end up bringing up monogamy,she would get freaked out(if she isnt on board).

I think she just loves the thought of love and the connection with you.

But for her to get serious would be a no-no.

Another thing is,just like LVATTEMPTS(the poster above),both of yall did the ultimate wrong which was not giving her space.

This girl is now tired of talking with you,seeing you(SPAM),and hearing from you.

You havent given her any space to fall nor for her to idealize you nor wonder what you're doing.

You should be appering as if you're to busy for her.

Make her wonder if you've met another girl because you havent contacted her for 3 days.

But in fact,she's using the card on you and having you wonder if she's still interested.

Thus she has the power and control.

Only how you can regain control is by freezing her out.

Not contating her for few days,going on with your life.

Make her worry!!!

Instead,you're the one worrying.

But it all comes down to space.

You havent given her any space to miss you.

You should only be skyping with her twice a week.

You've given her all the control.

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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 4:13 pm 
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@Fastflyer-Good to see that you were having major success in seduction after your divorce.

Lot of guys(newbies)never manage to have good game while being single.

Anyway,it's sought of a rule in the community that subjects of emotions & monogamy should be left to the girl to bring up.

If you end up bringing up monogamy,she would get freaked out(if she isnt on board).

I think she just loves the thought of love and the connection with you.

But for her to get serious would be a no-no.

Another thing is,just like LVATTEMPTS(the poster above),both of yall did the ultimate wrong which was not giving her space.

This girl is now tired of talking with you,seeing you(SPAM),and hearing from you.

You havent given her any space to fall nor for her to idealize you nor wonder what you're doing.

You should be appering as if you're to busy for her.

Make her wonder if you've met another girl because you havent contacted her for 3 days.

But in fact,she's using the card on you and having you wonder if she's still interested.

Thus she has the power and control.

Only how you can regain control is by freezing her out.

Not contating her for few days,going on with your life.

Make her worry!!!

Instead,you're the one worrying.

But it all comes down to space.

You havent given her any space to miss you.

You should only be skyping with her twice a week.

You've given her all the control & attention.

And as every women are ungrateful towards the attention men show to them.

The more attention you show her,the more she'd flee from you and want out.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 6:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 10:11 pm
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K-Loc you said it best my friend. I 100% agree with you!!!! My problem is that I got away from the rules when I deployed and now I am dealing with these issues. In a attempt to set line to our relationship I have taken away the space. I basically did a 180 deg turn on how it should be and I am paying the price.

However, I am now in a position to retake control. I have stopped saying I love you to her, but I am still being very nice. I told her today I wont be able to make it to SPAM since I will be going out with a "friend" to drink and I will probably call her in a couple days. I will see where that goes. I think it will have positive results.

Dude Honestly I appreciate the feedback and I am completly on board. The problem is that I reverted back to my wussy state that I used to exibit before I got into the game. Thanks for advice!!!!


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 8:54 pm 
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@FastFlyer-It happens to all of us.

I revert to wussy ways too at times when Im tested by a girl.

To be honest,it maybe harder than you think to play it right(give her space).

But I like your intentions and what you did by letting her know you'll be going on with friends.

Some guys would literally tell the girl,"Im going out with a femle friend...".

The girl would see through that and know that you're bullshitting.

With the way you'd phrased it(friends),it'd make her worried and wonder if your frinends include females.

Anyway,try stay strong and give her space.

Make her chase you.

_________________
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https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 9:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 10:11 pm
Posts: 144
Fuck n A my brother, its working already. I got a message from her on SPAM, she said I saw your email and I hope you had fun. Basically it's her way of seeing what I did? Bottomline, I had a couple drinks of wine and added with your advice I am back to my PUA self! God I love this forum and people in it! I would be lost if I didnt have the books and people like you to smack me around and get me back on the track. Thanks again!


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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:14 am 
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Lol I know the feeling of getting your alphaness back.

She's definitely fishing for info and for you to fill her in;hoping that you didnt go out with females.

Funny thing is,whenever a woman say,"have fun".They really dont mean it.

It's sought of playing it off when they're really concerned.

Have fun bro'.

Keep it up.

But dont ignore her totally.

Just reduce the amount of time you give to her.

Seem more busy than usual.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM


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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 4:16 am 
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Lol I know the feeling of getting your alphaness back.

She's definitely fishing for info and for you to fill her in;hoping that you didnt go out with females.

Funny thing is,whenever a woman say,"have fun".They really dont mean it.

It's sought of playing it off when they're really concerned.

Have fun bro'.

Keep it up.

But dont ignore her totally.

Just reduce the amount of time you give to her.

Seem more busy than usual.

But beawre-women are smart and good at this.

Dont be surprise if she tries turning the tide on you and say to you,"Im going out tonight".

Just to try give you a dose of your own med' and have you worrying.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM


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