Hey guys - about three weeks ago I started dating my best friend of over three years. Things have been absolutely awesome in all aspects, except one: the bedroom. The issue is not so much that she is a prude, it's that she's inexperienced. I was fine with this, and knew I could show her the ropes until yesterday she said the following:

"The biggest fear of me becoming more than friends with you was me being able to please you sexually."

Now, I've never heard a line like this before so I sort of played it off, saying things have been good so far and that as we become more comfortable with each other, we can talk more about the things we like. I am much more experienced than her, and she knows it. However, whenever I talk about sex she gets quiet and intimated, remarking how I used to be a 'whore' with women (:roll:), effectively ending the conversation.

I don't want to critique her too hard, though I do want to see some improvements. Namely, she's fairly passive, especially in foreplay (no oral and very brief HJ). What I do want help is with the following:

- How can I give her the confidence to be more aggressive? She's definitely okay with sex; I'm convinced it's her lack of experience that makes her afraid of trying anything she hasn't done before, because she's not sure if I'll like it.

- How can I get her to open up more about what she enjoys? I've made some progress in this area by having her guide my hand when I finger her and shit like that.

TLDR - My GF likes sex, but is inexperienced and intimidated by my experience. How can I get her to get over her fears, and open up to me more about what she likes sexually?

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"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I'm going to give you a definite... maybe."

What you have to think about is what you would feel if this was the other way around (she was more experienced than you)

I would give her compliments that seem off the cuff and unprovoked, also make sure these are specific compliments that she will feel are personal to her instead of a general 'your really good'.

Also try not to talk about past girls you have been with as she obviously doesnt like this

anyway feel free to use or ignore this advice
hope all goes well for you buddy

CG

Thanks for the response.

Talking about past hookups with her is a big no-no I've realized. She absolutely flipped out the last time I did (made a joke about some girl doing a walk of shame past us, saying I had created a few of those ) and got incredibly upset. She knows I've been around the block a few times, and there's no need for me to verbally communicate it anymore.

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"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I'm going to give you a definite... maybe."

Talk to her while you guys make out or whatever, you can just tell her and basically "walk her through". Even if someones been with many people, you know what you like..the other person doesn't. communication is always the key

My advice, stop talking about sex. Most women are shy when it comes to talking about it, unless they are total slut bags...which is totally cool too.

Focus on turning her on, seduce her.
Have fun little games like asking her to wear something naughty for you, or to send you a sexy picture, etc. Use this method to get her thinking about sex, without actually doing it. Remember, anticipation is one hell of an aphrodisiac.
Make her feel comfortable with the IDEA of sex...with YOU.
Women are more turned on by the IDEA of sex than the act itself. Use this to your advantage by planting thoughts into her head (i.e., the games i mentioned above).
It's o.k. if she thinks you were a hoe with woman, that means when things start to happen, she will try and 'out sex' the other girls from your past.
The next time you guys are together and things start to get hot and heavy, STOP. Make her think YOU are not in the mood, in other words...take control of the dynamic. I'm sure you are getting tired of her being the one that determines if sex happens or not...right? If you keep this up long enough, along with getting her turned on, she will be the one ripping your clothes off.

Hopefully this helped some.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

Thanks for the advice, Sinful. I'm a HUGE tease in the bedroom, and take an almost unhealthy pleasure in making her (and women in general) BEG for me to fuck them. The other night she was sleeping over and I spent ten minutes getting her say to me "I want you inside me" to which I simply smirked and said I wasn't ready yet and just went back to kissing her. Drove her up a fucking wall, and let's just say she wasn't very passive after that.

Beyond that, I've focused on us having PLENTY of physical contact, with an emphasis in situations where sex isn't possible. I'm constantly kissing her, slapping her ass, etc. just to get her as comfortable with me as possible. I figure once she is completely comfortable with me physically, she'll begin to open up sexually more.

_________________
"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I'm going to give you a definite... maybe."

The other night she was sleeping over and I spent ten minutes getting her say to me "I want you inside me" to which I simply smirked and said I wasn't ready yet and just went back to kissing her. Drove her up a fucking wall, and let's just say she wasn't very passive after that.


Nice! That's how a high-status male does it. It all comes down to comfort, but it sounds like you may already know that. At this point, I would not make any advances....let her be the one to start things off. It's funny how women look for your attention if you begin to pull it away.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene