| I think we all know men and women think differently. Men work with logic (i.e. couples should want to biologically mate, relationships obv need physical emotional balance) and women work with what 'feels' right. This being said, the solution isnt in getting her understanding of your frustration or concerns, its getting her to almost subconsciously desire physical attention.
So how is this done? The same principles of pickup apply.
Have you ever tried to walk out on a random girl and display anger bc she wont get physical with you? we all know this doesnt work, and im not talking about a freeze out.
If she doesnt desire sex from you, dont get upset. Start to feign losing interest in her physically. Dont pursue the topic anymore, and stay friendly, confident, and collected. First she will shit test you and try to call your bluff. Be patient (to do this you really have to be ok with the situation and learn to not take her actions personally, shes acting off of subconscious push pull emotions).
There will come a turning point where she starts to wonder why no longer pursue her physically, and thus a void has been created.
Subtle ways to poke the bear? Maybe she notices you casually checking out another attractive women (dont overdo it).
Also important, don't defend your behavior aggressively. She will start to realize that you're actions are not that of a bad boyfriend, but in fact exist in the general nature of any man. Dont apologize for your growing lack of physical interest in her or your appreciation for physical beauty in others. She needs to see this is a natural cause and effect type of interaction.
She will approach you on the the topic eventually when it starts to sink in that shes losing your interest, because lefts face it, everyones ego needs to be reassured. If she truly has any feelings for you this will hit her where it hurts. This being said, don't be emotionally distant! she needs to see you are the same guy, and this is not some stunt you are trying to pull, otherwise you're "the jerk" of the situation.
When she does approach you, it might be in tiny ways to test the water, like small teases to see if you pursue or maybe even direct questions like "why dont you ask me for sex anymore"
The most crucial thing here is to NOT be an AFC who gets frustrated and needy, and not be a cocky jerk either. A true confident male is balanced and complete without a woman, and if you can reward her sexual interest with playfulness of your own to match her energy but not overdo it she will know you are not harboring any resentment and maybe shes missing out on something.
In terms of foreplay and her pinning things on ED etc, ignore that. You need to set the stage that if you two start getting hot and heavy, the natural progression is some 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base action. If she starts giving you shit you pull a Freeze Out. The idea here is you have returned to the table with a new set of unspoken rules that she can either abide by or stew in her void of physicall attention. She needs to be reminded internally you CAN leave her anytime, not that you want to.
Keep in mind, relationships are about honest communication, so if you have to mediate your sex life with pua techniques all the time she might not be the right match for you. This will probably bring her around, but it wont keep things alive forever and is alot of upkeep.
To add some credibility to this advice, ill share that my current gf and i are very adventurous, but her last (and first) boyfriend and her barely had physical intimacy. She says she never know how open she could be and it took the right person to get her there. It was definitely a slow start for us physically bc she was reserved and shy, but things couldnt be better now. With my first girlfriend i was an AFC and my sex life was average, and i wasnt going to make that same mistake the second time around! she loves my confidence in the bedroom, but I dont hint of our dirty side to others in public so she feels more safe. I think anyone can be that 'right guy'. Good luck!
|