Read! you will find the contents interesting, but mainly I need your help.

Let me first enlighten you, I am the type of guy who doesn't like to sleep around with one night stands, I like to have a girlfriend, the one girl whom I focus all my attention on. I hate the idea of using girls, and I dream of finding a girl who looks and aspires to what I want. If I sleep with a hot girl, have only one (my ex) - I think who will she sleep with next, and wonder.

I will divide this into a couple of sections, which I hope your replies will answer to.

1)

I dated a girl for a year, first love, first everything, and I cannot get her out of my head 7 months later, I try to win her back every time I visit home, and now that I am home I am so nostalgic and confused on how to talk to her, finally being on talking terms again, and how to play it to get her interested, even though she has told me several times to move on and has gotten with other guys. She is mentioned every single day in my life, brought up everyday and I am eager for her to come back to me, again, 7 months later. The reality is, I know I have absolutely no chance, but inside, I deny it, and beg for it. Your thoughts:

2)

I come alive at night, I wake up around 2 everyday and reminisce about my past, my high school days when I was a big fish in a small pond and I cannot accept that I am done with it - the best part of my life. I no longer aspire for anything. In fact I keep in touch so much with the old people in my life that I am ashamed of my present and don't know what to do to make my present exciting and better than before. FACT - I believe that my past will be the best time of my life and anything that comes my way in the future will not be as nearly as good as my past. What is the point?

3) I know that my ex isn't the ONE, yet because she ended it with me, the first girl to ever say no to me, I have changed. I have become someone who has just CHASED a girl to prove a point. And it is not attractive, and I am always curious as to what she is up to, everyday, I am no longer living my life. In reality I feel like I am better than most guys, I had a massive ego, cocky, and people told me it but most of all i liked it. Now I feel like a masochist - someone who likes the attention of feeling down, and I dont want this. I am not me, if I talk to someone, it is probably to find out about her.

In the end of all this, The thought of her with another guy, makes me feel sick, makes me want to throw up and I ask myself how could she, when I get with another girl, all I think about is her. I wonder if it will go back, and how will I get better.

Where does this stop, change, where do I get better and find better?

Can someone put this into words or actions or something that can help me because i literally cannot stand this anymore. Quite frankly I am a bit scared.

oh, my friend, i was once there. my first love was an amazing girl, and even though we were young then, to this day, i've never met another one like her.

she fucked me around, she jerked me around, she used me, but goddamn she drove me wild in the bedroom and elsewhere. just something about her was like an addiction for me.

after we broke up, she haunted my thoughts for the better part of five years. during that time, i slept with other girls, had a few crazy threesomes, partied, lived life, but there she was, always at the back of my mind. i always felt incomplete without her. like a shadow of my former self. like i wasn't living, but was instead waiting to live.

and as fucked up as it sounds, "living" would be the day that she magically came back into my life again. these thoughts really affected my happiness.

in my situation, i went years without talking to her or even seeing her. eventually i sought her out on facebook (yep, i know, ex-facebook stalker, not cool, very AFC), but not to get with her, just to try to let her know a few things: what an amazing chick she was, how bad she fucked me around, to tell her sorry things ended in such a fucked up way, and really to catch up with her and wish her the best in her life going forward.

i am about to use the gayest word in the english dictionary. here goes. this kind of gave me ... closure (LMAO) ... as i was able to take her down off her pedastal. i realized that all those years, all that time, all those thoughts, i was worshiping some idolized version of her from the most passionate few nights we shared together and completely mentally blocked out all the malfunction.

you've got to get this idolized version of her out of your head.

you've got a potentially FATAL case of One-Itis.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I enjoyed the story, but the way you said this part in particular made me fucking guffaw.

Edit: and it looks like I just topped you with the gayest word in the dictionary.

I like the way you explain your situation. I am not going to lie I have a massive oneitis and to be honest things fucking suck without her in my life. If I meet a random person, I wonder what she would think of her and so on. To be quite honest I need help on how to move on. What do you suggest. I am back in the same country as her now for a month, and when I talk to her I am like an eagle, trying to find out who or what she is doing, I hate it. I dont know how to talk to her and I said we would meet up so I can give her something and say something! I was planning on doing something cute, a letter to give her to read to say sorry or something. What you think?

How do you get someone off a pedastal, and find someone else to put up there

Like Mac said we've all been here I was with my first love for 2 years if I'm honest the best 2 years of my life. She wasn't a bad person in fact she was the person that got me off my feet, made me do things i never thought I could never fucked me about or mentally hurt me. You may say the perfect relationship But she just had enough I did nothing for her never took her out I didn't have a job so i couldn't afford to treat her how she should of been. Then she ended it said she loved me and she will one day regret doing it but she could no longer let me bore her or stop her from achieving her goals. Funny thing happened after opening up on this form allot of special people took me from the grave and bought me back up it took time yes but I was in the darkest place I have ever been was stuck in my room from weeks didn't eat it felt like someone had died. Then i got over it went back out gaming and she saw how much I changed got a job etc... started working out and on myself she emailed me saying how nice it was that i changed and how she is proud of me, Then she said she misses me still loves me and she saw me with another girl the girl I am dating now she said she didn't like her because i was getting serious. Then a few days later she rang me crying down the phone saying if she could change it all she would saying please come back to me I will do anything. I hated hearing her say these things it made me feel so low because I just fallen for another girl yet the girl that was haunting my dreams the girl I would of happily spent the rest of my life with was asking for me back. You can not imagine how tempting it was back to square one but I told her how much she meant to me what an amazing person she is and she can do better than me wished her all the best and told her to follow her dreams which she is working towards. So what I'm trying to say is letting people go is hard but in the end it's better than keeping them from their happiness so let her go move on and one day you will find your one she isn't worth it. Sorry if i hijacked this post but i hope you get something out of reading this because it was the biggest life lesson i ever had and to this day I wonder if that will be the biggest mistake of my life because she was one of the most amazing girl I have had the pleasure to know.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.