I went out with hb8 for the 3rd time last night, drinks and great talk. I k-closed on the 2nd time. The 3rd date was spur of the moment and she told her parents she'd be home early. We went out for drinks and we had fun. Much more personal conversation but I tried to make it seem like I'm not just interested in doing her but looking for something more. In 5 weeks we went out 3 times.

We kissed a few times throughout the night but dropped her off. I told her after she told me she didn't want to come over because her parents would be nervous I told her I'm a pleasure delayer and don't desire sleeping with a girl I'm really interested in right away anyways. While we were out I asked what she was doing Saturday night and she said nothing and then I told her we were getting together and she seemed receptive. She told me I'm not like other guys and how we always have so much fun. She kisses my hand for no reason and genuinely seems interested.

Now I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of texting her later with plans but I don't know what would be an appropriate date and I don't even know if she considers me as someone to get serious with and I don't want to be the one to bring it up. Now when were together we act like were in a relationship but we never talked about it.

What would be a good idea for a 4th date, should I give her a few options and let her pick? Also, am I coming across as too needy or just someone who knows what he wants and shes happy being with me?

you're the one that decided you guys were going on a date, you have to decide where to take her. in this situation if you let her pick the place she'll either come back with a "I don't know" or if she does know(which is rare) then it'll lower your value a little.

You said this...but I hope you are physically showing the opposite...if not...you better be!

You setup the date...you decide...never give her the option once you take the initiative...it will make you look less attractive...like you have no plan. It's one thing to say...let's get in the car and do something spontaneous...it's another to set a date without a plan...she's going to ask...if you have nothing...then say it's a surprise to buy you time...but you will need to think of something quick prior to the date.

Don't give her options either, it's this or that...that's it. Here's an idea...have her do something that you enjoy...bring her into your reality...then it won't be so awkward... if you want a relationship, might as well show her what you like...then ask her what she likes and do something with her she would enjoy...

These questions in this section always get fumbled...a relationship is not pick up...once in...you don't have to game...you have to build and find each others strengths, weaknesses and find a common ground on which this relationship can strive. If she doesn't like what you do...don't get ass hurt there will be things that you won't be into that she likes/enjoys and she can't expect you to like them all nor should you have to, it's you...but please use common sense...don't take her somewhere you wouldn't take your mom/sister or close family member with the risk of embarrassment...I.e...You are into guitars...take her to a music shop and look for some small stuff or just go and look at "sales"...you need a shirt, take her to help you find one or whatever you are into, afterward get a bite and then a walk in the park, good way to move place to place....You get ahead faster if you hit 2 or 3 places in one day rather than one LOOOOONG lunch or dinner...don't take her to a smoke shop, porn shop, strip bar Etc...I know it sounds like common sense but I have said that without specifying and I was then told...well, that's me and she got grossed out/pissed off/turned off...Doh....I wonder why? !

If that's you...keep that part of you to yourself...that's cool...but unless she is freaky...don't expose yourself in that manner to her.

Find a local paper...you can always try something new with her...also, any local live bands...just another idea.

_________________
You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

Thanks Cedius, she ended up getting sick and had to cancel the date. Thing is she never requests a raindate!



This is my problem. When we're together she acts like she is in love with me. Holds my hand kisses it, plays with my hair, hooks arms, loves kissing me. However, she never texts me firsts, hardly suggests a date, and often takes a while to get back to me. The getting back to me part isn't important because I know she's busy and she tells me that my texts are fun and exciting.

I mentioned this on our most recent date about how she's lucky I am so persistent because most guys wouldn't try after you don't respond for 6 days. She's like well I'm glad you are.

This could be one of a few things in my mind. I never call her. When we first met I called her to plan dates and left her voicemails. She never called back just replied back via text so I took that as a hint we should communicate through that so it would be a dead give away if i start calling her.

PLEASE do not tell me to forget about her because I know I melt her heart. I know she is interested because she went on 3 dates with me, tells me she missed when we meet up and will most likely go on a fourth but it's so hard on my part to come up with creative ways to open a text and ask her out.


and no she is not shy! she is extremely friendly... There's a good chance she wants me to chase her and I have no problem with that but if she doesn't and is just taking things EXTREMELY slow I do not want to come off as needy or desperate.

It SUCKS because when we're together there already is attraction and I'm thinking I need to build comfort and strengthen our relationship. Then after a few days I feel like I need to make myself attractive to her again. It's like a circle and it doesn't seem like the relationship is progressing.


Why is she doing this and what can I do to break the cycle and get this girl to start initiating with me?

Don't worry about not clarifying what the relationship usually is. I have gotten away with the relationship being implied by what you do together. Keep the dates fun and simple at first. Don't do formal dining because it might make her uncomfortable and think you are taking it too seriously or fast. I would say that if you have been the one contacting her always you might want to back off do a freeze out until she contacts you.

Exactly that. Good advice. She is testing you by not contacting you first to figure you out. Mix it up a little.

By not contacting her you achieve two things. 1) Build mystery by making her wonder what you are up to resulting in her being attracted to you from higher value and 2) testing her to see if she really is interested. If she really is into you she will make the effort. If she isn't you will know and there is no point chasing someone who isn't into you. Besides a P.U.A. shouldn't be chasing.

If this is going to work you need to make the commitment to not contact her first under any circumstances whatsoever or put the ball in her court by saying something along the lines of 'Get well soon, get in touch when you are ready to reschedule.'

I suggest just blanking her to mindfuck her