Hey guys, I didn't know where to post this. The situation is now over, well for now, but I want some opinions here please. Also thought I'd share it, maybe it can help others. I'm unsure.

Right, yesterday I returned from the north of England, I went there for new years to see my family (we had a new arrival in the family) I have some friends there too.

One of my good friends (a girl and HB10), she picked me up from the station, around 45 minutes from hers and my family. Everything was good, no problems, spent time together, all the way up until new years eve. I've got a lot of love for this girl and care, she generally has a heart of gold, known her around a year and spoke on a daily basis, how I do with most close friends.( Not in love with her! She's more of a friend, yeh we've kissed blah blah)

We were meant to go out on new years eve, planned, I bought tickets etc. New years eve comes, she's out and about all day getting furniture for her new apartment, says she's tired and unsure about later, I was obviously a bit annoyed (as my other friends had plans, and it's not like in London where I know lots of people and can make other arrangements) but I never showed how it affected me, until later anyway.

I then find out she's going out with friends in the end, so I got annoyed and let her know (my day was a bit crap anyway to be honest), she could tell I was angry and lost my composure (which I rarely do in any case.. was over Blackberry message)

Reason I was annoyed is because, my other friends had plans, me and her made plans, and because I'm away from home, I was stuck. So I'm annoyed because of the principle of the situation, not the tickets.

She then said she wants nothing to do with me any more, reckons I have no respect towards her, she thought I was different, but I'm just the same as her ex's and she wont take bullshit off people any more because she has been hurt too many times in her life. I apologized for losing my cool and blowing off, but maintained she shouldn't have done things the way she did, and suggested lets meet in the middle, forget it, but she was having none of it, and again, now wants nothing to do with me.

While I was there I went a bit AFC-ish and sent a few texts, stating to forget what happened, lets meet in the middle etc, I said take 1 hour of your lifeand let's talk, before I'm 5 hours away again, I did this because she is a good friend to me and I've got a lot of time for her. She said it's always one mistake with people but things happen again and again (so labelling me because of her past basically) On my last day, and the last text I sent, she replied back saying get a grip and fuck off, so since then, I haven't text back, I removed her from facebook, deleted her number, messages etc, because nothing I did deserved that plus I'm no prick. Yeah I made a mistake, which I regret and wish I could go back in time, but I know, apologized and stated my mistake.

So, did I go to an extreme by removing all contact? Or did she? I think I did the manly thing. Realizing my mistake, and trying to sort it in an adult manor.

So what's your thoughts guys? I refuse to contact her at all now. My birthday is next week and hers around 3 weeks after, so that ill be interesting too.

Your opinions are appreciated

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

I don't see why the fuck she is so offended?

Maybe you didn't wrote her your exact words, but if she is offended because you are "annoyed" by her going out with her friends, she is NOT reasonable.

You have every right to be annoyed.

But i wouldn't remove her from facebook etc. One day she will notice and say "look, he even removed me from facebook".

And BTW; if you were so good friends; why she didn't told you she was meeting friends? Why you couldnt go with them???
Strange situation mate..

Nah, this is the situation mate. This is why my head's in two places, because I'm annoyed I've lost a good friend. I removed her off facebook because she started using words where there was no need to and told me to fuck off, I might have got annoyed but I never started swearing at her, I'm past all that shit, there is no need.

I was going to go out in her town with her and her friends, then go out and do what we planned on doing, but that never materialized, so when I found out what she then went and done, I got annoyed, and let her know about it.

I said to her, one day you'll realize what you did wrong, she said I was patronizing her, which made me laugh, because the more I look at the situation, it seems laughable, but extremely annoying! I manned up about things.

Some people eh?

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Weird story, so she was double booked!? She made plans with her friends and with you...

She knew she was going with her friends before you arrived?

Or she planned that after you arrived?

She made plans with me, to see her friends I had the option to join her, then we were going out in my town, as planned.

She then said she was tired and made nothing of it, then found out she was going out with friends, she never told me, that's when I got annoyed, later in the night, when I never saw her, around 10pm or just after.

Again, the principle pissed me off, if it was me, I'd be straight up. I don;t regret making my point, just getting pissed off the way I did, then again, if I never, I'd be taken for a fool again in future.

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Well, she played with you in one way or another, I think you have the right to be mad, certainly when she says fuck off, she shouldn't have invited you if she didn't want you there it's that simple...

She did invite you, and then blows you off with a lame excuse, that's not how you treat people, certainly not people you consider a friend!

maybe she didn't consider you a friend in the first place? (i don't know ur situation offcourse, so no offence) and was annoyed by it -> still she shouldn't be telling you it's ok to come and then blow you off...

so that considered, you had the right to be mad...

that's my opinion on it, don't know if it helped, haha!
cheers!

I know what your saying, but trust me, she considered me as a friend, she calls/messages everyday, picks me up nearly 1 hour from hers, then takes me home when I never asked! Also came to visit me 45 minutes away for the next 2 days. I wouldn't do this if I weren't someone's friend. She's opened up to me a lot, and I have, about my past, that's what friends do, they're there for eachother.

Course I was annoyed, and most people would be in my case.

People have hurt her in the past, but because of one mistake I made, she should have just put it aside when I tried fixing things, but hatred came out instead. Of course, things happen and we get hurt, then comes a time when enough is enough. I just think she needed to take a back seat and realised the effort I made and why I was annoyed. Don't mess up things with good people though. In time, I'm sure she'll regret it.

Cheers for the replies guys

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

Sounds like this girl has a boyfriend. She probably flaked on you so she could hang with him and her friends. It would have been weird for her to meet her friends and current bf at the bar with you tethered to her.The reason why she acted extremely angry when you confronted her was she felt guilty. Guilty people tend to overreact when confronted.

I see your point, but at the same time, I know 100% she doesn't have a BF, I know part of her friends/social circle. She was into me, until I confronted her. I also agree that guilty people over react with the heat of the moment. The situations done now, and I have no desire to chase her, she needs to wake up and smell the coffee.

The main reason I posted this was of course to get opinions, so thanks everyone. I like the psychological side of things!

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

I dont know an attractive woman or even a somewhat attractive woman that 100 percent doesn`t have some guy orbiting around her. Whether or not he`s the bf, there always some guy...The ironic thing is I used to do something similar to what your female friend did to you, but I would do it to the girls I was playing.

She lost you. Girls come and go man, you ve helped me a lot when i was literally being played by a girl. You deserve someone who appreciates you, and she's clearly not that person. You said she's a good friend, but i don't see her being a really "good friend" to you. I think what you did is totally the right thing to do, and since she's the one who told you to "fuck off", just cut her off and don't make any contact with her.

Mr.Amazing, I was that guy I just wasn't her BF, of course, we never know the true insides or outs with women, well most of the time. She's a good person, like I said I know her social circle, she's been hurt bad a few times in the past, by people closest to her, which I hurt her feelings by getting annoyed and letting her know about it, so she thinks I'm just the same, but I had the right to, and she needs to realize that, I was not in the wrong, I stood up for myself, and let her know, I'm no idiot. If she wants to label me the same as her EX's because I 'hurt her' because she never expected me to be like that, then fine.

Jay Dog, thanks man! I appreciate the good words, we're all here in this community to communicate and help each-other when possible. She was a good friend, someone I had a lot of time for, I tried to sort things, but as soon as she said "fuck off" I never replied, that was uncalled for and I lost a load of respect towards her. I'm not making any contact with her, if I receive a birthday message next week, I'll return the favour 2 weeks after for hers, because I'm courteous.

I'm glad I posted the situation, to see your opinions! So, thanks all!

_________________
Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/