Not sure if this perfectly fits this subforum, but it seemed like the best match.

The short of it is,

I was exclusive with this girl I work with, not quite yet dating but we agreed to not see other people. In her words "we're dating, just not publicly yet, I wanna wait"
This kid, lets call him Steve, is a loose friend of mine who also works with us. He tried getting with her earlier but a mutual friend told him she's mine. He backed off, but still kept casual contact with her. Now, I get jealous sometimes, but I made it a point to make it hidden that it bothered me. They started hanging out a lot and I told both of them it bothers me a little bit, as it had gotten to the point of them hanging out multiple times a week, which is odd because theyve known eachother less than 2 months. The girl says it's not like that, and that he's never made a move on her, although mutual friends say they flirt a lot when I'm not around. I made my point though I figured, and hammering it in further would only make me look clingy, plus, I flirt with other girls all the time.

So last sunday-ish, Steve texts me saying that this girl is starting to lose feelings for me and hes playing it off as hes trying to help, when i can see hes purposely fucking everything up. (he apparently told her not to hang out with me that night, which means hes clearly trying to get rid of me) he says i should try to prove to her i really like her, and not just trying to take her virginity. i end up calling her and telling her we should meet up for a nice dinner somewhere this week when I have the time. she says alright, but the next day she drops the "we're too different" line. Her reasons are pretty phony "you party too much and you might cheat on me" "Oh, we have awkward silences when we hang out" ect ect, you get the point. I straight up ask her if its for another guy, she says no, so in essence I say "Okay, peace then" and we haven't talked since.

I find out tonight, steve and this girl are a thing now, both swore up and down it was purely a friendship and I haven't confronted either yet. It's on the DL, and they think I don't know.


Now this is my dilemna, I don't have one-itis. I hooked up with two other girls within 3 days of the 'break up'. But at the same time, I'm extremely mad that this kid snaked me like that, and I see it as I have two choices:

A.) I beat the fucking snot out of Steve. The pros being that others will learn not to fuck with me as steve did and also the revenge will be nice, the con being it gives them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me, or the possibility of an upset in the fight.

B.) I be mature about it, possibly confront them but with no physical force thrown in. The pro being that this girl might run back to me (not that i'd take her back; second time she did this. I was the 'other guy' in the previous situation, the difference being that i wasn't friends with the kid at all). The con being that I lose some 'tough' points and risk looking like a little bitch who will only exchange a few nasty words. I told the girl that if steve made a move while we had a thing, I was gonna deck him so he was given fair warning, I'm sure.


What do you guys think? I'm trying to steam this thing off, I'm pretty annoyed. Remember that I work with these kids.


We're all 17, btw. Which might change things up a bit. in high school, beating the hell out of this kid would be a total DHV.

Most people will say.. work on your game there another billion girls ect

I would be swinging windmills next time i see him he fucked you over teach him a lession

Im gonna be totally honest with you. You deserve nothing less. It got TO this point because you did nothing about it and let it progress. As soon as you suspect something going on AND hear it from her friends? It's done. Dont take her word for it. Of course she's gonna fucking lie about it. So will he. Go with your gut and cut that shit from the knees.

With the idea that you have of him trying to creep on your girl you take his advice and pull a King Chump AFC Last Ditch Effort Supreme Combo move and invite her out to dinner. Your ultimatum to her should have been her dining on your cock or getting out of your fucking life. Truth is, they both collaborated against you. You were the butt of their jokes through this whole process and got played.

I have no doubts in my mind that you're pissed. Not at all. If you wanna beat his ass, go right ahead. Just reading this makes me wanna Cactus Jack that bitch into the dirt. When you do, what will be gained from it? You'll feel better for sure but the truth of the matter is, the relationship is over. Whooping his ass will bring you no closer to getting the girl back, and maybe pull you further away. Women dont like violence like that unless it's to protect them, not from a jealous ex.

Confronting them verbally is the best way. Either way, neither of them are you're friends. They didnt give a shit enough about you to tell you what's really happening and they CONTINUE to lie to you. Say what you want, but keep it from getting physical if you can help it. You'll regret not doing it if you just walk away.

Quick Tip - Dont date anyone at work. Shit like this happens. Relationships cannot flourish when you're spending time outside of work and DURING work.

I feel for you, I really do. Chalk this one up as a loss and learn from it. If I can recommend anything, read the writing on the walls before it gets to this point man. One strike policies with women are hard to follow but they avoid shit just like this. She deserved a shoe in the ass as soon as rumor started spreading. It's spreading for a reason. If you wanna beat the hell out of this kid, go right ahead. Make sure you're doing it, not for pride or to make yourself look good, but because he truly deserves it. Whoop his ass like you're Clark fucking Kent coming to save the day, but dont get emotionally caught up in it. Also, make sure you dont lose your job over this. You dont deserve to get fired over a pair of cunts.

Im in your corner man. I know for a fact that you'll do whats right for you.

I saw the writing on the wall, yes, but the thing is that I had no solid evidence besides people saying they flirt a little. He said something about her thinking i only like hooking up with her in my car, which makes a little sense, because we did that a lot and she's never done that stuff with a non-boyfriend. I figured inviting her out to dinner would be a good way to show i'm not all about just hooking up, but you're probably right that it was planned out.



But what you guys may see as not having backbone, I see as keeping my cool. I didn't show insecurity in it, something that I used to constantly do as an AFC. I think me getting paranoid of them hanging out wouldnt have solved much, I probably would have just seemed like a little bitch. I'm trying to not blow my lid until I have a plan mapped out on this.

The friends didn't have a reason to lie. I can see what you mean about playing it cool, but by doing that, look what happened. You dont need solid evidence. You dont need to offer an explanation to them, you suspect something? Either solve it to your satisfaction or roll out. It's not being a bitch. It's keeping yourself from BEING bitched.
Do you know this for sure? Because she told you? She tells you alot of things that aren't true apparently....I wouldn't be so quick to jump to her defense for this either.

"we're dating, just not publicly yet, I wanna wait"
It all started with this - she's not sure she's found the best person that she could fine yet so she doesn't want to scare anyone else away just yet. If a girl is anything less than thrilled to death to be monogamous with you, hold off.

I know you dont wanna come across as AFC, but you were blatantly disrespected. Even when you knew that something was going on, you took it like a "champ" and let it play out. When they start hanging out that often, not telling you, and keeping secrets, do you need blunt force trauma with a large object for it to sink in? The snowball kept getting larger and larger.
There is no mapped out plan in this game. Do not over think human interactions. Were all very basic creatures with basic needs. To map out a gameplan and analyze every detail while they're off doing god knows what pretty much is the epitome of AFC. It's all about how much shit you'll allow yourself to take before realizing it's not worth investing in. By holding on waiting for the concrete proof when you had warning signs going off in all areas, you wound up with the short end of the stick trying to win back the girl that was steadily losing interest.

Dont be afraid to speak your mind and end that shit when you felt something was going on. I promise, people WILL respect you from it. Do they respect you holding on and waiting for what happened to occur? No. You simply got played.

Like I said, im not trying to be a total dick to you, but you placed way too much faith in the girl.

Reacting to gut feelings with no remorse of consequence = Alpha

Waiting for the perfect plan and the perfect execution patiently = AFC.