I'm being stalked!



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 Post subject: I'm being stalked!
PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:58 pm 
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Hey so yesterday, I went out to dinner with some friends (1 guy, 3 girls) and we all dressed up and went to dinner. its wasnt a date or anything. we just decided to go out. it was totally unplanned. so apparantly my girlfriend saw me dressed up and going out to dinner so she txts me pissed about what the fuck is going on and shit...

when I'm eating in he restaurant, I get a txt asking me who is my blond friend, and I ask her if shes stalking me and she says yeah, you look nice, have a nice life.

weve been together for 2 months, and since yesterday night, we havent talked and her phone is off since. any reccomendations on what I should do?
I think that since I used to be with a lot of girls before the relationship, and a lot of girls want me, my girlfriend is being extremely clingy to the point of insecurity and stalking. how can I let her know I don't have anything going with those girls.

oh yeah, and she sent me a txt saying, "I'm glad I never slept with you."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:57 am 
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She's fucked up. She's sending you these texts "I'm glad I never slept with you" to bait you and make you flip out or go all wussy, basically do something stupid, so she can justify to herself that you're not suitable. Don't give her that possibility.

You know you did nothing wrong - in the back of her mind, the possiblity is that you haven't done anythign wrong, but she'd rather go into defensive/attack mode as a self protection thing, and is baiting you to make you behave like the horrible man she thinks you are. Obviously she's been hurt in the past and she's jumping to conclusions here.

Just play it cool. Make a reply, short and simple, that states your position. "I never did anything wrong. Clearly if I can't see my friends without you flipping out, this was never going to work." And don't reply to anything she sends.

Don't chase this one. Just state your position, and let it go. Don't reply to her.

Eventually - if you really do want to do somthing with her, take her up on one of her attemtps at conversation, and get her to explain herself. And then state your position in life - you aren't looking for someone who has issues with you hanging out with other female friends, plain and simple. See what she says.

But bottom line - don't expect much now. Practically ignore her and move on to other girls.



This kind of girl would have ZERO chance with me. I'm a male stripper, I do hens parties, it's my job to flirt with girls while naked, for 2 hours, then go home.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:50 pm 
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thanks for you perspective, conker

but there are other factors involved too...
1) haha like till the rest of 2010, its finals and I don't have the time to get with someone right now and neither do the girls.
2) so, if I break up, its just me solo. right now, we do everything BUT sex.
3) also, shes hot, buffering around a 9.
4) another thing is, winter is settling in, and she lives just a few doors down from me in my hall haha.
5) she has also said that she wants me to be her first. I want this relationship to work, and I want her to by my first too.
6) everyone has their faults, and your right, shes been heart broken before, and she needs to know I wont hurt her.

I am thinking about just taking a break for a few days..


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:26 am 
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There are some things I'm certain of, but it's not going to be enough to "follow my instructions", hopefully this will set you in the right path but 75% of the work will be up to you.

What I'm certain of is she wants you, she has wanted you, she still wants you - but she's overreacting because she's been hurt in the past.

You still need to be a man as I described earlier, and just simply state - you were just hanging out with friends. Then, you must talk to her in a way that only a person who cares about her can. But the details of that are really up to you.

Do NOT reason with logic, eg. "I was out with them till 10pm then I called you at 10:30, if you had have picked up you'd know I didn't go home with them" no matter how true the logic is.

Also it has to be face to face, or failing that, a phone call. But if she's just down the hall, face to face can't be hard.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:43 pm 
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It seems she suffers from low self esteem and insecurities. If you do smooth this incident over, the chances are it will happen again and again. JMO

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:21 am 
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hey conker whats the purpose of this break?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:43 am 
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Hm, I never said to take a break? You said that...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:51 am 
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Haha I know i was just wondering what a break is for


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