Okay simple question, but this is new for me.

I F-closed a 32 yr old women on our first date. Now I'm trying to meet up with her again and she wants me to cook dinner for her and her 6 year old daughter.

The message is probably that I should prepare to be a father if I want to keep getting the sweets.

Does anyone have any experience on how to manage expectations in this situation? And got some advice perhaps?

thanx. Greetz Bucc.

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

Hey man. I would just say if you're having dinner with the kid too. Just be prepared to be on your best behavior, cause it's about being wit the two of them at this point and not just the mom. Not only that but you just hooked up with this girl and she wants to bring you around her kid already? No offense but seems kinda irresponsible. Like I would tell any of my bros: tread lightly with this one.

Well, I guess that it is all about the situation really.

I mean, you will have to feel the vibe.

If I was to interpret her behaviour I could do that in several ways. Maybe it is as you say, she wants you to be a new father for her child. Or... She just wanna take the drama away from the issue. I mean, yeah, she has a child, fact. That is not gonna change. The question is, can you deal with it?

It all depends on what she expects from you and that is something that does not have any general rules. She could be cool about it or she could be insane.

I mean, it could range from:
1. I have a child, just so that you know but it is my child and not yours, dont bother, I just said it FYI.
2. I have a child, I want you two to get along but Im not handing over any responsability to you, it is my child.
3. I have a child, if you wanna be with me I want a serious committment.
4. I have a child, if you even consider holding my hand you need to be prepared to babysit.
5. Im looking for a new father for my child, take it or leave it.

So it could go either way. The only one who can know how she reasons is her. You gotta talk to her and see how she sees things. However, you are safe as long as you havent promised anything.

I have had dinner with a lot of "MILFs" and they can have a normal dating life without directly pushing the date into the father role. Of course she is gonna judge you from how you behave around the kid but you knew that already.

Just try to not scare her kid and be a bit funny, but please for your own sake, do not say anything that you dont mean.
I normally think that people are allowed to play as they like but I think that when children are involved, you need to be careful, they are innocent and unless you are careful you will have a choice between staying in something that you did not bargain for or risk hurting the kids feelings and trust in other people by leaving...

Tread carefully, I would.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Just be cool. Kids are people too. Don't read so much into it.
At 6yo, they're old enough to know 'mommy has new friends'
and/or 'mommy is dating' without the mom or the kiddo
having any expectations that you are to be counted on.
Assuming the mom is reasonably intelligent/stable, then
there's no way she's thinking 'daddy material' yet.
Probably she's thinking more along the lines of "my schedule is tight,
and I don't feel like the hassle of getting/paying for a sitter.'

the fact that she would smush you on the first date and let you around her kid the second i doubt shes looking for a commitment or new dad for her kid. im with a milf and we would always fuck and hangout around the baby and i only saw her once or twice a week and kept it casual. two months later we started hanging out almost daily and became exclusive and now i go to the park with the kid and do shit like that but as long as you dont see her often, fuck everytime you see her, and never see the kid outside the house you should be good.

I was actually talking to my neighbour bout this subject literally 5 minutes ago. Shes a milf. A teenage milf. So it might be a tad different then these (presumably) older ones.

Anyway she said she always makes a point of telling men upfront that she has a baby. And she always makes them do something that includes the baby very early on.

Her attitude is that you cant have her without the baby. So you have to meet the baby and then if you still want to go ahead afterwards thats fine. Shes just letting the guy know exactly what hes getting into.

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Everything I have just said is related to the UK and some parts of Ireland. Trying it out may make you look like a bumbling twat in your own country. So be careful.

Well thankx for all your advice guys. Here is what happened.

Last sunday I would pick her up at the mall. I tried to contact her in the car and got a 200 dollar fine for using my cell in the car. So that kind of got me grumpy.

I met her and her daughter shopping together. I kindly introduced myself and laid low on kino, as to not intimidate the kid. I kept thinking: if I was a kid, how would this make me feel? I guess i think it was difficult, cause my parents are still togehter as a happily married couple.

Later on I drove them to her place. Making sher her daughter was well strapped in to the seat belt off course. I could notice myself acting more alert and caring with the kid around. I did not do this to impress my date; it was instinct.

We arrived at her place and she was attending to her daughters hair for a while. And later on had a phonecall from a friend that was overseas. I got annoyed for gettin so little attention, but fortunately I watched a good movie.

Later I saw my date fail in teaching her daughter the basics of math ( 3 +4 etc.). So I intervened and tried to teach her, wich was better for the kid. After 20 minutes she understood it a lot better. All the time my date was watching me, mesmerized. Probably testing what kind of father material I was.

At a certain time her daughter was in the shower, just one door away. And she wanted me to suck her breasts. Wich I did, reluctantly however, knowing her daughter could come out at any minute. After 10 minutes she did, wich was emerassing. I lifted my head up and put a hand through my hair and she kept her arm in front of her bosom. But, I thought, kids are not dumb and they even have better senses... so. I felt crap about that.

After that, her daughter went to bed. I noticed that her room had no door, but my dates room did. Having sex in the bedroom would be impossible without her hearing it. So that was off, for as far as I was concerned.

I joined my date on the couch. She agreed we couldnt have sex in the bedroom. All of the sudden she put on some porn and asks me to lick her breasts again. I protests, because her daughter might hear. She sais its OK. We proceed. In the end she just jacked me off right there on the couch with my cock hanging from my pants. I never had such uncomfortable physical pleasing going on since puberty. I felt really dumb ass for doing all this. When I go down on it I want to go all naked and scream, and fuck her in every corner in the house. This was like an undercover sex-operation. Plus I kept feeling that if we did get caught, we would pose a threat to the mental health of a young kid.

After that I walked outside to my car, she escorted me and said she loved me. Wich I did not return. This was f-ed up. I told her that was a little fast after a one night stand and a date like this. She was clearly dissapointed. It was an awkward moment.

I phoned her yesterday and told her things were off. I also tried to explain that she should look out for a father for a kid wich I am not. But like some of you already said, she is the one making the choices.

This whole adventure to me was about taking responsability, wich in the end, I did in my opion. I hope some of you guys out there learn from this.

Regards.

Buccaneer

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I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. -Admiral Horatio Nelson

Man she has got a strange realtion to her daughter... Borderline sick...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

hahaha so entertaining. glad you figured out what you want.

dinner, movie and a handy....i wish all lessons were learnt like that.


you probably did the best thing though, you dont wanna be the guy who fucks up a kids head and have weird father issues.

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"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)