| Hey all, I posted this in another forum but figured I could get some awesome advice here as well =)
So this will be a VERY LONG story, I'm just so lost and confused I could use some input. First of all, some background...I'm 23, never kissed a girl, never had a girlfriend, etc. I'm not bad looking, just kinda short, and was never really confident in women.
Fast forward to now. I got a new job about 4 weeks ago, and met a co-worker (18 years old) who I instantly felt an attraction for. Our chemistry was great...we teased each other constantly, she'd smile and laugh at nearly every stupid joke I said, she'd find ways to work near me and ask questions about my personal life, etc. I acted pretty cocky and funny, was VERY confident in myself (surprised me), and we teased each other a lot...still do. About a week after this, I walked up to her desk, wrote my number down on a piece of paper in front of her, and said "here, call me so you can buy me a coffee" and walked away. That night I got a text from her, and we ended up texting back and forth A LOT for about a week straight. Since we both work in retail, it's hard to find times that we are both free, and so texting was all we did. We flirted a lot during our texting , and at one point she asked what my first impression of her was. I told her "That's classified information" and pretty much left her dangling for a few days. It drove her nuts! She showed up on her day off to work just to ask me what my thoughts of her were, but I refused and said "Wait for our date!". Well later that night, I finally gave in during a text and told her she was adorable. Now here is where I effed up BIG TIME....somehow, we got on the subject of past relationships and well, I told her I'd never kissed a girl before. She texted back "wow really? The way you act in real life, my first impression was that "that guy get's around". So I asked "does this change your attraction to me?" and she said 'Well honestly yes. I'm not shallow, but we can still be great friends lol" OUCH! So I texted back 'Oh great, you were just looking for an experienced booty call!" and she said "relax, I was just teasing you. It changes nothing! =)" so I thought "ok problem solved."
The next day at work, she was VERY short with me. Didn't smile, make eye contact, barely said two words, etc. I knew something was up, so I gave her the cold shoulder so to speak. Halfway through our shift, she just randomly approached me and said 'How DARE you assume I'm looking for a booty call, blah blah blah". I looked her straight in the eye and said "We're not doing this during work" and walked away. That threw her off, and 5 minutes later she came up to me in her usual flirty way and said "Say...what's the name of that brunette guy you work with in Men's?" I knew what she was doing, so I played along... "Oh, the tall dark handsome one? John" She smiles at me and goes "Mmmm John" and turned around, still smiling. So at this point I figured "Screw you" and tried to maintain a cool, non-chalant attitude. I walked away again, and AGAIN she came back and tried talking to me. I just kind of ignored her, and kept it very friendly. I told her "we'll talk after work" and she said "no we won't", and I just stared at her and wouldn't budge, and she finally lowered her eyes and whispered "fine, we'll talk after work". Well we never did, and that night I pulled an AFC move...I texted her saying "Sorry for the bootycall comment, you took it the wrong way. But asking about John to make me jealous was low. Look, I like you, we have chemistry, you could be my first kiss. But if this is how you're gonna act, let's just keep it professional." She didn't reply that night at all.
The next morning, around 9am, I wake up to 3 LONG texts. Basically, she said "What made you assume I would even kiss you? Yes we flirt, yes you're freakin cute, and yes we're going on a coffee date. But I've only known you for a week, get a reality check. And I asked about John because he's hot. I want to keep my options open. Sorry, but this will be my last text. Bye Jay, you'll be fine!"
At this point I didn't care, so I deleted her number from my phone, and deleted her from my Facebook. I had no intentions of being rude to her at work, I was just going to keep it professional from there on. I NEVER replied to her last text at all, and went the whole day just hanging with friends, etc. Around 11pm, I got a text from her saying "Was I a bit harsh? Sorry...sometimes I can be a bit overbearing!". I wasn't going to reply, but I finally said "No don't sweat it. See ya at work" and that was it.
About a week went after this happened (I hadn't seen her since the text), I get a text from her....it's one of those "spam" texts where you have to send it to 3 of your friends or else you die blah blah. So I replied "Who is this?" and almost immediately I got "It's me. Did you delete my number from your phone? Gee, that's nice" and I said "Well you told me goodbye." to which she said "I figured my apology meant that I want to keep talking". So now we're texting again, and flirting at work like we used to. In fact, she texted me the other day saying "Omg man, I walked into the restroom at work and there was a black woman taking it from behind lmao! It made my day". I took this as a good sign (she's talking about sex!) so I said "Oh shit, that was you washing your hands in the bathroom with us? I would've stopped, but she was loving it so much I couldn't!" I thought this would get a good reply, but she simply texted back 'Asshole...'
Ugh!
So anyway....
We went on that coffee date two days ago. The first 15 minutes were awkward....I didn't maintain eye contact, I wasn't my cocky-funny self...I was nervous. But the whole time, she was asking me some very personal questions..."Are you close with your mom", "what's your most romantic date idea", etc...I made sure to push romance as much as possible. Finally, I felt as if she was getting bored, so I suggested we walk around the mall for a bit.
This changed things completely. As we walked, I got new life, and found my old playful self. I initiated kino , but I think I overdid it. I put my hand on her lower back to guide her through crowds a few times, grabbed her hands a couple of times, her arms a couple of times, etc. She didn't cringe or shy away from it, and in fact she even slapped me a couple of times when I teased her about something, and her shoulders rubbed against mine as we walked side by side occassionally. As we walked around the mall, she mentioned how an older guy (60+) had hit on her at work, and how old guys turned her on so much. So I said 'Good, let's find you an old guy'. I grabbed her hand, and led her to these two 70 looking year old men and said 'Excuse me, do you think this girl is cute?' She was blushing and smiling like CRAZY! Eventually, she had to go to work (I made sure to keep the date as short as possible...25-45 minutes, it ended up going to an hour). As I walked her to our department store, she seemed hesitant to leave. I told her "Alright have fun at work, bye!" and she stood at the entrance giving me a "Wait, are you seriously gonna leave?" Look, so I winked at her and motioned her to come walk with me some more. When she came, she asked, completely randomly, "did you think that the 'I've never kissed a girl' before thing was romantic?" and this threw me off guard a lot. I didn't know how to respond to it, so I said "Look, you're young and cute. You're kissable, but that doesn't mean I want to get super serious with you. You should date around. I think we'd be great friends" and she kinda smiled and said "Oh really?".
About this time, we were walking into another Department store just looking around, and she said 'Let me show you the bed I want for my apartment'. So when we got to the bed, I said 'That bed looks so comfy, come jump on it with me!' She said "Are you crazy?" so I flopped down on the bed facing the ceiling, and she kinda sat on the edge and we ended up talking for a few minutes. I told her about a date I went on a few day ago (A lie), and she got somewhat jealous and kept asking "Tell me about the date, who was it?" etc., but I refused to answer. Eventually, I walked her back to the department store and we parted ways. On the way out to my car, I get a text from her (not more than 5 minutes from when I just saw her) that said "Thanks for the coffee =P" I waited a few hours and replied "Thanks for the laughs =P That old man wanted you so much!" She texted back "Oh he was hot!". I said "Hmm makes me want to be that 70 year old..." to which she replied "Oh really? And why is that, so I'd be the one picking you up instead of vice versa?". I replied "So you'd think I was hot! And who said I was picking you up?". She said "Oh c'mon. Stop playing the fool and admit it, ya dig me...=P" I replied with something lame, like "I guess if there existed a girl to dig, you'd be the one I wanna dig..."
And that was pretty much it for texting that night. I think we bantered for a few more texts, but she didn't reply to mine. The next morning (TODAY), she was at work. She seemed kind of distant though...she didn't seem to make an excuse to be near me, she didn't say a lot to me...although she did flirt a bit..she made a mistake and I said "bad girl" and she said "I can be very bad...". I just looked at her, winked and said "Nice try, but I'm not buying it. I'll see it when I believe it". She was also wearing high heels, and said "You didn't comment on my high heels". Since we were around customers, I didn't wanna get too risque...so I simply said "trust me, I can hear you coming a mile away with those things" and she laughed...good signs I thought.
On my way to lunch, I saw her folding clothes near a rack, so I walked up to her, gently placed my hand on the small of her back, leaned in and whispered "You look gorgeous today". She didn't even look up, she just kept staring down folding, smiled and said "Thanks"....so I'm not sure what to make of that.
Anyway, tonight I got home, expected a text from her but didn't get anything. I wanted to set up a 2nd date since I was worried that the 'spark' would die out, but I was afraid of texting and seeming desperate.....I caved in, and texted her saying "I had fun on our date. Let's do it again. Are you free Friday?" She simply replied "No. I'm working" and I said "Alright, some other time then" to which she replied "Yup. Surely".
WTF? What's with the short texts? I waited a couple of hours and texted back "Sunday? I have an epic adventure planned for us"....she didn't reply for at least 2 hours, and as I was writing this, I finally got a text back "Adventure? What kind of adventure?"
So now I'm not sure what to do. Is she playing me? I know I've come across as a bit desperate at times...but her behavior is confusing the hell out of me. Does she just like the attention, or do you think there is something more here? Should I freeze her a bit, slow down, or what?!
Also...I know I shouldn't rely on text game , but with our schedules, face-to-face time is bad, and of the two times I've called her over the phone, she hasn't picked up (she said she doesn't like talking on the phone and that her brother uses it a lot). So how long should I wait before texting back, etc. etc.?
THANK YOU to whoever responds to this shit.
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CHAT
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