I dont really want o hurt her , or be vengeful dude.
It is a lot harder though when someone breaks up with you. Once you agree with the break up, it transfers all of the emotion on to them and they get the feelings of regret etc that is usually left for the person being dumped.

Given that you were in this "relationship" for 4 years, I don't think you're qualified to talk about how breaking up works and what the dynamic is. I've been broken up with and done my share of breaking up, this is how it works. She dumped you. The dumpee doesn't have to give the dumper permission. You are DONE. She doesn't have to talk to you to help you with your "decision". The decision has already been made.

You say you don't want to hurt her, but you want to transfer all your feelings of rejection and regret to her. I don't have to point out the obvious contradiction. It's okay for you to feel rage and hate and sadness. And NO, "agreeing" with the break up is NOT going to relieve you of all your pain and give you closure. There is no such thing as closure, only acceptance and then time. You are just trying to get her back and making excuses to do so. I'm no good at relationships and even I can see you have a lot of learning experiences to get, a lot of what you say is just wrongheaded.

I understand your point, but it isnt right. So what if i want to transfer those feelings? I dont have to put her on a pedestal and worry about her feelings here as she doesnt want to be with me, which i accepct.
I accept its over and im moving on but she's fucked me, the way she did it is wrong.
If you break up with a girl you will get a barrage of calls, texts, them coming over until you sit down with them and tell them to their face, then eventually they accept it.
Im not going to do any of that. I would liked to have discueed it and ended as friends, but still without any contact but she is putting herself first here and making it as easy for herself as possible, by not considering my feelings.

Ignoring someone is possibly the worst thing you can do, and thats what she has done.
So i want to get over all of this as fast as possible. If you break up with someone and they want you back you KNOW its easier for you, and thats how she is feeling, at my expense.
So i dont agree with putting her on a pedestal and considering feelings, all i care about is my survival and getting over the whole thing as quickly as possible.

Again, you are really highlighting your inexperience. You can't transfer your feelings to her, what are you a mad scientist? When someone breaks up with someone else and they don't want to deal with them anymore, than ignoring them COMPLETELY is the best strategy. This shows she's not fucking around, she really doesn't want you anymore. She's letting you keep your dignity too, since now you don't have to look like a whiny bitch to her by asking "Why?" and telling her she's a horrible person a million times. You're just looking like a whiny bitch here in front of a bunch of strangers, isn't that much better?

As far as I can tell, this girl didn't do anything wrong. She gamed you like you were gaming her, serves you right for not being honest in a relationship. Hopefully you learned how shitty it feels to constantly be treated like that and you won't do it to your next "girlfriend". And lastly, she's completely allowed to put herself first now, you are not her boyfriend, you have been demoted to acquaintance. She can't take shit from you unless you give it. If you really want to survive and move on quickly, then you need to fucking accept there is no longer a connection with this girl at all, she's just a person you once knew and then you need to hurt, cry, and rage about it until you wake up one morning and you realize you're just being a drama queen and it's not that bad.

man you guys on here are fucking robots. Iv trained with PUA gurus, and i know a lot of them and pretty much 99% of them are lonely , sad confused guys who pull 6's most of the time and have no idea about relationships.

My friend is a relationship counsellor and is amazing at pinpointing everything, unlike you guys who come at it from an ego persepective. Seriously dude, how does language like whiny bitch etc make you look good? It just highlights your insecurities not mine.

You havent listened to what i said at all. You CAN transfer the emotion over. As soon as you move on from something, which you have to do asap when a relationship breaks down, the other person feels the pain you have, they have to because it is there. They do not feel it before that because they don't have to accept what they have done, to themselves.

But anyway, your opinion is not right and i hope any other guys on here don't wind up like this because this community is getting worse and worse.
There is nothing wrong with having emotions, or feelings, and if someone breaks up with you , you don't have to examine urself as to why everytthing is your fault, because it probably isnt. Some women are bitches, hell most women are when they want to be.

I wasnt going to ask her "Why" or whine i jus wanted to meet her to accept the situation, which is the best thing to do if someone breaks something off.
I stayed in this country for this girl and put a career on hold, so for her to ignore the situation when i have a job, move to sort out is really childish and irresponsible, and she did that for her own benefit.

To anyone on here, you are not a "drama queen" if you ask for advice on how to handle a break up, but this is the WRONG place to do that because no one here is even in a successful relationship, so their answer to sorting problems out is to stop being a bitch.
Lifes not like that, i hope you get to work that out

That's right, everyone in the community is wrong. It's impossible that YOU don't know what you're talking about. I'm really impressed by your attempts to validate yourself to me, by the way. Really. I'll tell you what, bro, when someone breaks up with me, I don't need to transfer over my emotions to them because they are my emotions and I'm man enough to survive them myself. If you take offense to the way I'm talking to you, I employ this tactic when I'm trying to get through someone's thick-ass skull. I am not trying to impress you or DHV; I really just want you to pay attention. I gave you solid advice. Your ex doesn't want to talk to you because she knows you won't listen and can't be reasoned with. Best of luck; you're no longer my problem either. For when you have a level head again; You're Welcome.

Lol

Now the PUA trick of "you are validating yourself to me"
Throw in a few phrases like DHV then consult page 10 of mystery method.

Mystery was a fuck up dude, get over yourself

Wow, I'd like to know what you think the rules of attraction are...

When I said laws of attraction, admittedly I was not referring to some perfect list of do's and don'ts, but I did mean the common themes that pop up in PUA material - one of them is that women decide based on emotion...

When someone breaks up with someone they are using logic over emotion. If they went with emotions then they would still be with that person.
If someone breaks up with you and you constantly call them, text them, then you are handling it emotionally,.
If you take some time away from it, look at it from a fresh perspective then you can employ logic.
When you start logical, most of the time they will try and be emotional, send you texts saying they miss you. Not because they want you back, but because they want EMOTION from you.
If you keep giving them logic then they usually crave the emotion more and more until they want you again

PUA is just a phrase dude. Its not gospel and there are not a bunch of codes there that once you say them in the correct order you are going to get a women.

Its books made to complicate stuff and sell. Men need more help keeping relationships than they do getting new ones.

Most guys in the community are only here because they fucked the relationship they wanted up , and they want to validate that by fucking as many women as possible.

That isnt the answer all of the time. Dont think you are a pussy because you want to be with one girl, and if you fuck up the answer isnt always stop being a pussy.
Thats why men take it so hard when they get dumped, because they have no one to talk about it.

The only pussys here are guys using that language on other guys who need solid advice

It's too bad this thread has become so catty - the whole relationship thing is not that well covered in the PUA guidelines yet it is either the end goal or fear of every PUA!

Cowboy, I think the point that a few people are trying to make is that picking up via the methods you have studied is all about control. Relationships are not. ... Good ones anyway! A healthy relationship is between 2 people who challenge each other (thus creating attraction!).

When the relationship is over, feelings will be hurt. I can attest to the fact that dumping someone is in no way a pain-free experience - even though you want out, you still have feelings, daily routines and memories that will be hollow now that you are single. With any sort of loss, no matter how severe, there will always be a time needed to heal.

Whoever actually calls the break up is irrelevant - the relationship was broken and had to be ended. Who actually dumps whom is a question for high school kids to figure out in order to save face! In the adult world of relationships, it really doesn't matter! Unless you are just building bragging rights for shallow friends "Yeah, I dumped that HB9 ... I'm so cool..."

The long and short of it is that you need to move on and this can only happen when you admit to yourself that it's over. Trying to transfer feelings or taking control of the situation is only going to make the process more difficult for you because it will prolong the inevitable and make the negative emotions you're feeling even worse because you will have built expectations that you won't be feeling them anymore.

.... And you know the cure for one-itis!! Like you said, you trained with some mPUAs - so get out in the field and start a new chapter in your life. Now!

I understand your point but everyone is really missing what i am saying as well.

Guys ALWAYS fuck up when they break up or get broken up with, and they will regret this down the line. There is a way to keep them attracted to you, or keep that spark down the line and you have to stick by some guidelines, which ultimately involve putting yourself first and being a man in the break up.
We have all done it, we have chased, we have shouted, we have tried to get closure.

Girls can break up with you even though they dont want to. They listen to friends, they deliberately sabotage because they want you to make some grand gesture. And when you do it makes them want you even less.

There are loads of factors in relationship break ups and sometimes things work out, sometimes they dont, but give yourself the best chance of being the guy she regrets, and start moving on

And i have moved on bro. Im spending the week in the US with a bisexual chick , what you guys would call a hb9, im then going round the US for a bit and concentrating on myself.

Accept it is over, but exit the right way. Or if you are convinced she is the one you want and its a massive fuck up , still move on but be tactical with how you employ contact.

The "Your a pussy, move on" is written by pussys, who arent real men

What a mess... well the actions you described are not inherently logical or emotional.

It's the reasoning you use to choose your action that is logical or emotional.

And I thought I was pretty clear that I didn't have a set list of things to do, I mentioned common themes that crop up. Eg. women like dominance, like to feel safe, don't like to be pursued too much, etc. etc. these things will always be true, there will be minor exceptions but mostly true. Eg. if you are a dominant confident man most of the time, but every now and again, do something sweet for her, that's a good mix. If you're always chasing her, and only act dominant when you think you've been offended, that's weak and not attractive.

I did this for years also.

In my case the woman was a female player. It was all about keeping me available just in case.

Once they actually say no to you 2 times in a row for a meeting, you can be 90% sure that its not a game anymore and she is regularly dating somebody else.

If she does see you, it will only be for ego reasons or because the other guy isn't around. Don't accept second class SPAM because it will effect your psychology even though you don't think it will.

In my case I made my chick a facebook friend and I am never calling her again. If she calls me sometime down the road it will just be catching up with an old friend.

This is all ok just let it happen.