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I understand what you are saying..
When we are together, its not about trying to get sex.. Most of the time we are fine and satisfied by just laying on the bed and relaxing. Then at times we get horny, and i get a blowjob.. So there i get some sexual satisfaction, and its amazing. But it's something i could get anywhere. Its not why im with her.
But interesting point you made.. In the start it was very confusing, and i was very sex fixated. But that got away - luckily.
it may not be about TRYING to get sex. but if she makes you horny (which she does), the hormones released may FOOL you into thinking you love her, when in fact, it's your endocrine system just trying to get you laid.
you can't really know someone without sleeping with them (ever wonder why when the bible says he wished to "know" her, it means "he wished to have sex with her"? even the "good book" agrees that to know someone completely involves having sex with them)